Miles beneath the surface of the Earth, THE DEEP STATE made their plans.
“We could kidnap Ivanka, shave her all over and feed her pork,” E14 suggested.
“No. We must tap his phone!’ A47 said. “What is he writing on his Blackberry? The world must know!”
“We already tap his phone. Trump Tweets and looks at pictures of a fried chicken,” B38 moaned. He needed to go to the bathroom very badly. He had spent time gossiping around eleven different water coolers that morning.
“He must have PORN!” G63 screamed from across the vast and dimly lit table. “Muslim porn? Spic porn? Some sort of porn?!?”
“Nothing we can find. We know the campaign flew in hookers during the election, but there’s no video, no audio, and all the girls have disappeared.” A3 said. He was the highest ranking member of THE DEEP STATE present and he struggled to control the others.
“PORN!” G63 screamed again from behind his mask. He pulled it away from his face and flapped it a bit to get some air moving. It was hot miles beneath the surface of the Earth and the HVAC system kept crapping out on them.
A figure in a disturbingly realistic Elizabeth Warren mask stood and shuffled paper into their microphone until the room was hushed.
“Hello, members of THE DEEP STATE,” the figure began, its voice high and pinched, the tone hectoring and unpleasant. “I want to talk to you about our common enemy.”
Murmurs went around the table and grew louder.
The Warren figure gestured and a picture of The Hat came up on a screen that hung over the center of the table.
“MAGA Prime,” the figure said, lips pursed and face pained like it had half a lemon in its ass.
The murmurs and unrest grew until A3 was forced to cry out, “Who are you? What is your designation?”
“What do you mean?” it said. “I have no designation.”
All the members assembled there, the many-tentacled arms of THE DEEP STATE screeched in hate and fear.
“HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?” A3 demanded, drowning out all the rest.
“Indian stealth, of course,” Elizabeth said, shocked that she should have to explain.
“Guards! Seize her!”
“Now just you wait a minute, buster…” she started.
“SILENCE!” A3 thundered. “Politicians like you come and go. We are THE DEEP STATE! We are forever!”
“Wait! We can work together,” she said as the guards dragged her away.
“NEVER!” they all said as one.