I just felt like delivering a rapid-fire series of nut punches since there’s nothing really going on except a few baseball games.

Maybe if you have no concept of “third party present”, you deserve to get kicked in the nuts and then charged with excessive force. Unfortunately, the victims his abuse still got dinged up.


Give him points for creativity.  Maybe he was just shy and wanted to learn her interests before he approached her.

Protip to Woonsocket, Rhode Island: If a cop is already suspended for beating up a kid, and currently appealing the convictions for those beatings, it might not be a good idea to have him working as a volunteer with the high school football team.

Even in nature the nut punch is present.

You mean he didn’t even get a paid vacation for allegedly showing his dick and balls to a 9- and 13-year old in an Applebee’s bathroom? Aw, nuts.

You know how a regular person can get a DUI even if they test out below the minimum BAC?  Apparently a Chicagoland cop is immune from that even when he runs over and kills someone.  Hell, even when he was said to be intoxicated by witnesses pre- and post-accident.  Which reminds me: if you’re ever pulled over, don’t blow.

The nut kick can be even more dangerous.

Remember the high-speed car chase that turned into a low-speed horse chase and the guy getting kicked in the nuts and beaten silly after proving himself out awaiting arrest?  Well, the cops involved pleaded down to a lesser charge and are now prepared to fight for their jobs back.  The residents, however, are unable to plead the $650,000 settlement down or ask for it back.  Because they’re not the King’s Men.

Walk it off, Judge.

That’s all I’ve got.  Why don’t you walk this one off.