Just Walk Away

There are two worlds we inhabit: one a sunlit land of opportunity, cheap guzzoline, and giggling children; the other filled with Florida Man, junkies (I repeat myself), ghosts, cheap diners, and silly roadside attractions.  You see ever since I was a kid, I had a real love for the roads less traveled, whether it be punk rock shows, partying with misfits, or trying to find meaning in things where very little meaning exists.

Why do I have this love for the obscure?  Perhaps it comes from growing up in a boring backwater of suburban wasteland where dreary people lived dreary little lives.  Or maybe it was the TV series In Search of…, my reading of Chariot of the Gods, Star Blazers, comic books, or anything else that was outside of the normal day-to-day routine found in Nowheresville.

It’s too bad that age has taught me that the supernatural and such mysteries are more product of the human imagination that reality.  A world with haunted houses, STEVE SMITH Sasquatch, Warty and his time suit, and vampires would certainly be a lot more interesting, but it sure would be hell on insurance rates.  But for just a moment let’s cast away our sensible and rational brains so we can explore – with childlike wonder – what is going on in the “other” world.

So enough Joseph Campbell-like musings, let’s get on with some links:

Hunting Bigfoot in the Upper Peninsula – STEVE SMITH doesn’t strike me as a Yooper, but perhaps there is something about the denizens of the UP that draws the attention of the world’s most famous Rapesquatch, eh?

Red-faced ghost hunter exploring a ‘haunted’ witches’ prison is scared out of his wits by a TEDDY BEAR (the use of all caps is a dead giveaway that this is a Daily Mail link) – I once knew a haunted teddy bear.  It had been molested for years by tomcat who had sexual feelings for the poor thing.   You could see the dead stare on the teddy bear’s face.  Sad!

Real-Life Vampire Couple Says Sucking Blood Is Better Than Sex – there’s something very, very wrong with a hipster beard “vampire.”

For $125K, you can own a ‘haunted house’ in Texas – “A client got literally nauseously ill and thought she was going to pass out and ran out,” Foley said. “She kept saying, ‘I can’t go back in there. Something hit me the moment you opened the door. I cannot go back in there.'”  That Tex-Mex cooking will get ya every time.

UFO sightings on the rise in Philly and PA – “Volunteers even logged a sighting during an Obama rally at the Art Museum.”  At least this makes some sense.  I, for one, welcome our new lizard overlords.

Mysterious shoes on Napoleon Avenue: Anybody got an explanation? – “I’ve been told for years that the explanation for tennis shoes thrown over utility wires indicates a place to buy drugs. Maybe this dealer is a diva.”

And there ends our cruise through the backwaters of this country, or some other country, or maybe even another planet.