Well, good morning! I hope y’all had a pleasant Juneteenth yesterday. Mine was alright. Got some work done, built some furniture for my son and celebrated the littlest one’s (Justice Forall Sloopy Juneteenth Spicer) birthday. I bring it up because every time I have an anniversary, or every time one of my younger kids has a birthday, it makes me thankful for the group of people assembled here and at reason because they were such an integral part of my wife and I meeting and starting our family. So thanks to all of you, in an indirect way.
Looks like the NBA teams are trying to shake a few things up in order to compete with the Warriors next year (which probably won’t work). The Celtics are looking to get better value for their draft picks (which probably will work). The Lakers are trying to not completely suck ass for another year (but they probably will). But in the end…its still pro basketball and it still sucks compared to hockey, football, baseball, soccer, rugby, cricket, curling, badminton, UFC, college basketball and the spelling bee. Sorry, that’s just how I feel.
Hey, Tiger Woods is “getting professional help.” Which is usually code for “I’m preemptively trying to get on the judge’s good side before my trial.” Unless it means he’s getting the professional help he really needs. Which would involve Butch Harmon moving in with him and dedicating all of his time to reconstructing a swing that works. But that ain’t happening and the slide into mediocrity will continue and Jack Nicklaus’s record will stand. Which is only fitting, seeing as Nicklaus is the greatest golfer of all time.
Astros won! And in college, Florida State is hanging in there after knocking CSF out of the CWS. And meanwhile, Oregon State is managing to avoid the distractions that pederasty usually brings with it and won again.
That’s it for sports. Notice I’m struggling mightily with it now that playoff season’s over? I warned you. But only 69 days till college football! We can do this together, friends. And either way, its not about sports here. It’s about…the links!
Who will win father of the year? Nanny-staters probably think it should be this guy. As for me, I think he should (metaphorically) be chucked head-first into a woodchipper. Christ, what an asshole.
Damn, Carrie Fisher went out like a champ. I guess she was trying to get into character for the Leia Organa scenes she hadn’t filmed yet (didn’t work). Or she was trying to get back into that costume (was never gonna work). Or she was trying to get into heaven a little smoother (apparently did work).
That Georgia special election will come to a close today. I hope it means I will stop getting tweets, fundraising emails and incessant reports about it, whoever wins. Make your predictions in the comments as to the outcome. I personally think Team Red will squeak it out but Team Blue will declare it a (yet another) moral victory in the string of moral victories since November.
That student that North Korea returned to the United States has died. He was in a coma when returned last week.
It gets more expensive to live in San Francisco. New labor deal is reason for increase, says company granted monopoly for trash removal by city.
What to do when you run your school system so poorly that kids can’t learn how to fucking read by the time they drop out of high school in the 9th grade? Why, you double down on the retardation! This might be the worst idea since the Twilight series. Hell, it may even be worse since Stephanie Miller didn’t know any better but this assclown does.
That’s it. Thanks for making it through. Y’all deserve a balloon.
Have a great day, friends!
LATE ADDENDUM!!!! : we want your ideas in what you’d like to be able to buy, if anything, for swag. We already have a tshirt, bumper stickers and coffee mugs with the official Glibs logo in the works. But we want to know what else you guys might be interested in. I’m prepared to ask Heroic Mullato to design a “Thicc Thursday” shirt we can all proudly wear. And somebody proposed a Warty’s Dungeon and a STEVE SMITH thingy. But we want to know what you guys want so we can provide you with the fodder to attract new readers or get you fired from your jobs. Or both. So let us know!