Manchineel tree just chillin’ there all innocent

Beloved commenter and Glibertarian co-overlord, Brett L., recently shared a fascinating Atlas Obscura link with the rest of the secret Glibertarian cabal that controls your thoughts and feelings and bends the Glibertarian firmament to its slightest whim. Because Florida is America’s Australia, it has the deadliest tree, the  tree whose Spanish names translate to “tree of death” and “death apple tree” The author gives us an appropriately dramatic intro to the tree:

You might be tempted to eat the fruit. Do not eat the fruit. You might want to rest your hand on the trunk, or touch a branch. Do not touch the tree trunk or any branches. Do not stand under or even near the tree for any length of time whatsoever. Do not touch your eyes while near the tree. Do not pick up any of the ominously shiny, tropic-green leaves. If you want to slowly but firmly back away from this tree, you would not find any argument from any botanist who has studied it.

And the whole thing gets more entertaining from there. Of special note: the manichneel tree is the deadliest tree in North America, but not the deadliest plant, which apparently goes to the spotted water hemlock…also a resident of Florida, because…Florida.

If you’re not woke to Atlas Obscura, you probably should be. Click here for their main page.