Not enough for the whole class, I see…

This is my review of Platform (Cleveland, OH) Smokin Fineapple Gose.

I was graciously given the day off by my employer in observance of Veteran’s Day.  I took the day mostly to hang out with my kids and on my way home I noticed the FEDEX truck driving around my neighborhood.  Way to work it on a Federal holiday, FEDEX!  

I got my box, fed my kids, and let the sender know the Maguffin arrived.  Then I tore it open!  I got some schwag:  stickers, a new pint glass, a D-ring/keychain.  Somewhere in there was some beer.  Hat Tip of all hat tips:  Nephilium.

Immediately the Gose caught my attention.  I’ve had a few that were made with lemon but pineapple seemed a bit off for this style.  I decided that I’ve trusted the judgement of others only to come back with a sour apple martini so I dismissed these fears and put it on ice.

This link here has a few methods on cooling beer in a few minutes time, some without electricity. The absolute fastest way to chill a beer without electricity is to take a disposable tupperware container large enough to hold the can/bottle.  Poke a couple holes in the sides and in the center of the lid.  Put the beverage into the container and ‘seal’ it. Then take a can of compressed air and insert the straw attachment into the hole in the lid.  Invert the can of compressed air and go to town.  You may want to wear gloves.  It should take only a minute of two to empty the can but the results will be chilling.  So in the event of the apocalypse we all can still have a cold drink. Thankfully, I don’t live in Somalia so the refrigerator sufficed.

The Gose is sour but the pineapple has a nice subtle sweetness to it to counter it.  It also has sea salt floating in the mix so the result reminds me a bit of grilled pineapple.  Its pretty good, but I was wrong about this one being the most interesting thing in the box. Platform Smokin Fineapple Gose: 3/5

Others in the box included:

Masthead American IPA

Fat Head Sunshine Daydream IPA

Masthead American IPA: 3.2/5  The head says it all, it has a lot of body and delightfully floral.


Fat Head Sunshine Daydream IPA. 3/5.  I had this one the next night in observance of fight night, for obvious reasons. It was better than majority of that card.


Millersburg Brewing Panther Hollow Vanilla Porter

Hoppin Frog Infusion A Coffee Porter

Millersburg Brewing Panther Hollow Vanilla Porter 4.5/5.  Hell yeah!  Go find it, right now.  Don’t worry you can record your college football game and/or Man City (probably) won.  Don’t hesitate to get a six-pack.


Hoppin Frog Infusion A Coffee Porter: 3.8/5. A bit more bite than expected but overall is solid. It’s like a light imperial stout.



Finally the most interesting thing in the box, not just because it’s watching you.

Saucy Fauxbia White Stout

This one calls itself a ‘white stout’ so go ahead and insert an appropriation joke.  The malts are roasted with a high intensity heat that doesn’t seem to alter its color.  It’s like grilling chicken with too much flame, where the outside looks good but the inside is raw.  The result is something akin to a nice bitters with a smoky finish.  Do you like Scotch Whisky?  You’ll probably like this.  Saucy Fauxbia White Stout:  4.1/5

So the bottom line:  it may be easy for us to make fun of Cleveland, unless you’re in Detroit, but their beer is most excellent.  Thanks Nephilium!