Nick Gillespie is a total loser. Here’s why:

1) Hangs out with teenagers.
2) Dead end Editor-in-Chief job in a gas station.
3) His office is in the bathroom at Al’s.
4) Lives in a shitty apartment above the Cunningham’s garage.
5) Dates bimbos like Pinky Tuscadero.
6) Thumbs up + “AAAAAAAAYYYYY” is totally lame. Who does that?
7) His middle name is John… only nerds are named John.
8) Ripped off Al’s by punching the jukebox to play music rather then paying. Dick move.