Before we get started, I just want to let y’all know that I’m gonna be seriously disappointed if that story image isn’t one of you.

That soccer game yesterday was pretty sweeeeeet! Liverpool might have scored again as I was typing that, no? Nope, still just won by a touchdown and extra point. Spurs also won, as did Real, Porto (jeez, Monaco sucks this year), and Besiktas.  Man Shitty lost, but the game was meaningless to them. And Sevilla drew. On to the round of 16 draw on Monday as the Europa League finishes their group play today as well. In cricket news, Australia won the second test match and are now up 2-0 vs England in the five game series.

On the hardcourt, Xavier and UNC took care of their business. Second-ranked Kansas fell to Washington at home, and Florida, who is inexplicably ranked #5, shit the bed again in losing at home to powerhouse Loyola-Chicago. Perhaps that rockin’ 5-3 record will cause them to fall all the way to 7 or 8 this week.

There were only four games on the ice last night. The Maple Leafs beat the Flames. The Flyers doubled up the Oilers. The Capitals drilled the Blackhawks (somebody get Swissy on suicide watch!) and the Anaheim Mighty Ducks blanked the Senators.

That’s it for sports news, folks. Now its time for…the links! And I’ll do them quickly, since we are apparently in imminent danger of being blown up at any minute since Trump signed a piece of paper formally recognizing a certain country’s capital.

Cargo pants, Matt? Really?

Matt Lauer might be a creep. But the man’s got the whole retirement thing pretty well figured out.

Looks like the House of Representatives grew a spine. I hope they’ve got some curb space set aside in New York for the bodies that apparently will be stacked like cordwood. At lease that’s what their cuck of a mayor and a few other “prominent” people are saying.

Fire officials in Southern California say the worst is yet to come for the region. I can’t imagine how bad it is out there. Please stay safe, area Glibs.

That’s not how you play “smell my finger” dumbass.

More and more Dems are piling on Al Franken to resign. Conflicting stories have him denying that he will and others are claiming that he will, in fact, make the move today. Either way, its a funny ending to an unfunny man’s time in the Senate.  Although, I see no integrity in Team Blue’s play here. Its designed to keep his seat safe while at the same time giving them the “moral high ground” to go after Trump and Roy Moore and say they should do the same. I wasn’t born yesterday. I read the talking points. They’re not too hard to find when the same words are posted by 150 different people on Twitter at the same time. Well, good luck with that strategy. And good luck holding the seat in 2018.

When you’re a Chicago cop, you get to act like you’re above the law for the most part. But when you’re on trial for shooting a black teenager and its caught on video, you might want to tell your lawyer that comparing a white Chicago police officer to the three black sharecroppers who were tortured by cops into confessing in the infamous Brown vs Mississippi case might be a bad idea. Seriously, what…the…fuck?

“Do you think the sharecropper line played well, dude?”

Georgia State Police commander gets fired. Of course, you and I would have been in jail for what he did. And we wouldn’t have been paid by the taxpayers for the last ten months for an extended vacation while the feds crawled all over the case.

I don’t give you guys enough good news. I hope this makes up for it a little bit. The police statement is to the point. Somehow I think it might have been different if it happened in Chicago, LA or San Francisco.

Beautiful girl…

Have a great day. If you’re in SoCal, please stay safe. Same as if you’re in a Korean hospital.