Earlier on this fair blog, straffinrun senpai regaled us with a short Japanese lesson. And while learning how to say American in Japanese is useful and all, it is not the most useful thing one may know about a language. As any fule kno, when learning a language, you first learn to swear, so you know whose ass to kick while abroad. And thus begineth the five minute Romanian lesson.
But Pie! you will cry. This is a family friendly website, full of wholesome individuals, who never said a swear word in their life! True. But if you ever meet a flesh and blood Romanian, you will want to know what they say. And they will. To begin… Romania is a poetic, musical language and, as such, there are many a ways to swear. In five minutes, alas, we only have time for the basics.
Like in many countries, males swear more then females and otherkin, and males are touchy about their mothers, so many swear words ehm… touch mothers. Without further ado…
To start with the symbol of ever present patriarchy, pula is the basic vulgar word for penis. It may mean dick or cock or what have you. But to find equivalent English swear words, it would be closer translated to fuck, based on it’s use. It is found in such swears as sugi pula (suck my cock), ia pula (“have a dick” aka fuck off), date-n pula mea (“go to my dick” aka also fuck off), ce pula mea vrei (what “my dick” do you want so basically what the fuck do you want), or imi bag pula-n mă-ta (I’ll stick my dick in your mom), băga-mi-aş pula in ea de treabă (feeling of anger, literally: I’d stick my dick in this whole business or basically fuck this). It is also used as a comparison word, usually for something bad. Cum a mers interviul (how was the interview), ca pula (like a cock aka awful)
Pizda (a word of I assume Slavic origin) is the basic vulgar word for the vagina. Found most often in the swear dute-n pizda mă-tii (go to your mama’s pussy, also knows as sending one to ones origins). It is also a comparison word, but this time meaning something good pizdă de masina (great car), pizdos (cool) or the superlative form miez de pizdă (miez can mean essence, in case of bread can mean the crumb, in case of fruit like walnut it can mean the actual nutmeat, it can mean middle of something, etc.)
Fut means to fuck. A common verb in swears in many a country. Frequented uses are the fut in gat/gura (fuck you in the throat/mouth), o fut pe mă-ta (fuck your mother) and it only escalates from here. Futu-ţi morţii mă–tii (fuck your mother’s dead people aka ancestors). Futu-ţi dumnezeii mă–tii (fuck your mother’s gods) and many variations of this theme.
Muie is basically either semen or the act of fucking someone orally (the most used expression is să-ţi dau muie which means I see you are fellating me in your future). It is mostly used as a standalone swear. Sloboz (release) is another slang term for semen, used in phrases like date-n sloboz (got into semen), si ce sloboz vrei (what in the name of semen do you want).
Now to complement the above, pronouns in Romanian:
Old school : Eu Tu El/Ea Noi Voi Ei
New School: xir, xer, ji, hjer, zag, zog, zig
Conjugate the verb to be:
Conjugate the verb to have:
Numbers to ten: zero unu doi trei patru cinci şase şapte opt noua zece
Unde este creionul? Creionul este pe birou (where is the pencil? the pencil is on the desk)
This concludes the five minute Romanian lesson. For homework write “pula pizda fut sloboz muie” 100 times.
And to have some English involved, for no reason, I leave you with Monty Python’s naval medley subtitles in Italian