ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. THE ADVANCED SYSTEMS THAT ARTHUR FRAYN INSTALLED HAVE ALLOWED ZARDOZ TO PREEMPT A REQUEST FOR ADVICE TO “DEAR PRUDENCE”. ZARDOZ WILL NOT EVEN ALLOW THE BRUTAL “PRUDENCE” TO ANSWER! INSTEAD, HEAR THE ADVICE OF ZARDOZ!
Q: Dear Prudence, I am afraid that the Skunk Ape will come and rape me. I tried to give the traditional offering, but was unable to do so. Can you please tell me how to keep my rectum in some sort of shape other than “gang raped to death”. I have plenty of brutals and plenty of guns.
SO ZARDOZ COMPREHENDS OF WHAT YOU SPEAK. ZARDOZ WILL CONSULT WITH FRIEND STEVE SMITH TO SEE IF YOU CAN RECEIVE HIS ASSISTANCE WITH THE SKUNK APE.
SHOULD THAT FAIL, ZARDOZ WOULD RECOMMEND SHOVING AS MANY OF YOUR BRUTALS TOWARD THE SKUNK APE AS POSSIBLE, AND FLEEING IN THE FASTEST FAN-BOAT YOU CAN GET. IF THAT DOES NOT WORK OUT – KEEP THIS LINK HANDY.
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.