This was me Thursday at 11 am:
Full of hopes, dreams…and 64 teams. This was the year I’d win it all and let everybody know I could pick with the best of them.
This was me at 10 pm last night:
This is one fucked up tournament. From UVA getting boat-raced by (basketball nobody) UMBC. To North Carolina following that up with a soul-robbing beatdown at the hands of aTm. Cincy, Xavier, Michigan State, Ohio State, and then Michigan winning at the buzzer. I can’t fucking take this kind of abuse. Its not fair. Its like God is trying to punish us. Well thanks a lot, Big Guy. It’s working. I’m a broken bracketer. My March Madness has turned into March Madness. I may not watch any more of this three-ring circus. I don’t know if my constitution is up to it.
You want to know what really churns my stomach? The leader of the Glibs March Madness Pick Em Extravaganza is…Banjos. That’s right. My wife, who watches jack shit for basketball all year except for the odd Buckeyes game I’m watching while she sits and twits with the twitterers, is winning the damn thing. But I don’t see it holding up. Her total of 45 points (with Tennessee cutting down the nets) is one ahead of a solid group, T&T’s boring bracket is in second (with UVA winning it all). Gbob sits tied for third (with the Buckeyes as champs) and is tied with Pie (who is an asshole because he has Duke winning it all). In fact, the bracket with the greatest max possible is MikeS, way down tied for 7th. I’m gonna be watching him even though his possible champ (Texas Tech) has no chance. Except of course, that they have a great chance.
Look, I’m actually having a good time with this year’s insanity. Its just…if Duke win it all, I will smash the fuck out of something very valuable. I can’t stand the thought of that rat-faced creep and/or that cheap-shot artist he has in the low post winning anything. That would truly make for an awful Easter weekend, only surpassed by the death of Jesus Christ himself. But at least with that, we get the rising from the dead part. If Duke wins, we get just the misery.
Ugh, I can’t bear to think of it anymore. I’m gonna quickly point out that Liverpool bounced back pretty well by thrashing Bournemouth over the weekend. Now they need to get ready for Man City in the UCL quarterfinals. The rest of the EPL squads that were in it can sit home and watch what the big boys can do on the biggest stage.
OK, no more sports. The rage is subsiding and the bile is creeping back down my throat as the thoughts of Duke hoisting the trophy go away. Let’s talk about something else. I know…the links!
Another bombing in Austin set off by tripwire, injuring two. Police appeal to bomber to stop (sensible). Also order residents to stay inside until 10 am (what the fuck for?) I do recall this being blamed on racism by HuffPo early last week and I haven’t followed it since. Can somebody please explain to me what’s going on or if the bomber’s motivations have been made clear?
The National Review can be douchey. But occasionally they publish a (pretty long but quite readable) piece that is pure brilliance and sums up the state of affairs wonderfully. Seriously, if anybody thinks that what Mueller is doing is a good thing, they need to read this and shut their pie hole for the duration of this witch hunt.
Texan Good Samaritan with knife meets California crook with shotgun. Guess how this one ends up?
Two trains derail and collide in Kentucky. Four people are injured.
Betty Boyner had just laid down when she heard what she thought was something exploding. “We thought, what the hell was that? Was it a train? Was it a trailer? We didn’t see any smoke,” she said. She then got a call from her son in Missouri asking if they were being evacuated. He’d apparently gotten a text from a friend who saw the accident on Facebook, she said. She grabbed her purse and a pillow and headed over to the elementary school. “I’m supposed to be up at 6 a.m. in the morning to go to work,” she said. “That ain’t happening.”
Here comes the mocking condescension from coastal elitists about the grammar of these hill people (although Lex is hardly hill people country). Then they’ll trot off to work (after a buttered roll!) and call the guy who bumps into them on the subway, during their 90 minute commute from their 600SF apt to their job in a 6×6 cubicle, a “fucking cocksucker”.
OK, this is seriously the funniest news story you’ll read today. LOL, how did this not happen in Florida?
I was gonna find one more thing, but I have to end ::takes off glasses:: on a high note.
Have a great day, friends!