Too often, we say things without really thinking or considering their overall social impact. Of this I was guilty, and SugarFree justifiably suspended me from substitute links duty for two days so I could think it over. The Founders sat me in a chair and went through my shortcomings as a human and as someone who has a duty to set an example of exemplary behavior. After 72 hours of non-stop criticism and struggle, with no let-up for sleep, I finally came to understand the depths of my counter-revolutionary offenses. I shall endeavor to do better henceforth. I also agreed to stop masturbating into the potted plants in our staff office.

And so, on this International Women’s Day, we mark the fall of this former hero of the progressive right-thinkers. Coming next, Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize striped from him for starting five new wars, slaughtering civilians, and destroying sovereign countries who never attacked us… oh yeah, right, like that’s gonna happen.

I think I’m beginning to understand why I find the Trump presidency so off-putting- it really is being run like a reality TV show, and I am (to put it mildly) not a fan of reality TV shows.

Speaking of “entertainment,” how do we make something that’s already stupid even worse. Oh, I know! Or even worse, take something that was really good and needed nothing else and… add something else. (Disclaimer: Even though we loved Breaking Bad, we were quite happy with Better Call Saul. Consistency is not my leading virtue.)

I like this kid, though I wonder if he shot any dogs or groped any girls he pulled over.

Wasn’t this a Seinfeld?

This is my kind of political candidate. And this, dear friends, is MY kind of band.