Way to go Big Ten.  Your conference isn’t playing meaningful games because the league brass just had to have the conference tournament in that hotbed of Big Ten country…Madison Square Garden?  Seriously, what the fuck? Everybody is playing rivalry games this week as you get set to kick off your conference tournament nowhere near a single Big Ten school that is worth a shit. I hope the whole arena sits empty as you get set to finish your tournament the same day as conferences like the Atlantic Sun and MEAC rather than when it traditionally ends when its played at a venue that makes fucking sense.. Stupid bastards. Meanwhile, Villanova, Clemson, Nevada, Kentucky and Xavier were among the winners last night.

On the frozen ponds, Les Canadiens beat the Islanders, the Sabres topped the Lightning, St Louis took care of Detroit, Colorado was better than Calgary, and five goals wasn’t enough for Vancouver, as the Rangers put up 6 to win in overtime. And in case most of you haven’t noticed, spring training is well underway and games are being played.  Oh what a glorious time of year!

OK, maybe that’s a bit of an overstatement. Many of you are still dealing with shitty weather and snow. All we’re getting is rain, rain, rain. But at least I’m indoors except for the fact that I’m scheduled to move into my new office this weekend. SO I need it to stay away at least half of the day Saturday. Everybody pray for me that I doin’t suffer first-world problems this weekend. I will thank you for your prayers in advance by providing you this sweet ass edition of…the links!

Here’s a “child rapist” I think many of you would get behind. (TW: Florida. anti-TW: this is the type of teacher Van Halen was talking about.)

This is how you’ll all be forced to defend yourself if they get rid of “assault weapons”. With nothing but air.

Trump puts his foot in his mouth.  Although his words are being wildly mischaracterized and its being implied he means in general, what he said is still a terrifying prospect.  As a bonus, I’m sure this will cause the left to have a renewed interest in defending the Fourth Amendment.  Still, he needs to choose his words much more carefully.  There would have never been a need to secure a warrant to arrest that idiot. He had the cops called during enough active crime situations that they could have easily arrested him on the spot and then secured a warrant while he was sitting in a jail cell awaiting a bond hearing.  That actually would have followed the due process requirements and would have also gotten the guns out of the hands of a sociopathic nut job who regularly made threats and acted like he was about to do exactly what he did.

The religious atheists on the left continue to make efforts to win the hearts and minds of America the only way they know how. Chris Pratt makes a harmless gesture that he believes, as do hundreds of millions of Americans probably, will make a positive difference in someone’s life and those assholes go bonkers.  Christ, what a bunch of assholes. Also, poor headline choice, Fox. It sure didn’t sound like Smith was “forced” to defend anyone. He did so willingly and graciously. And FWIW, Mallrats was still probably his best work.

For all those geniuses who say average Joes shouldn’t be walking around with guns and that only trained police officers should have them: I’d love for them to explain this and tell me they’re gonna stick with their position. Also, if we ban guns, this will never happen because people won’t have them. Except, this was in SF, where guns are essentially outlawed.  So there goes that bullshit talking point too…unless he went across the border into Indiana and got one and then went back into the city to carry out his mayhem.  Can they use that bullshit talking point in California? Sure seems to work for the grabbers in Illinois that want to blame their violence problem on everything but the individuals carrying their daily shootings out or the failed government system in their fair city that disenfranchises large segments of their population.

Dorothy Brown: endless purveyor of graft without consequence

Speaking of Chicago politics, I see its business as usual. The federal investigation into the office has gone on for five years and the abuses have been chronicled with detailed precision. Yet somehow, the machine that brought us Barack Obama has yet to bring anyone to trial.  But that has to be a coincidence.

I guess I could have put this in sports, but I’m gonna count it as news. Hey, listen, I think the coach is completely justified in his position here, with the exception of his last couple of sentences. If he recruits players who can’t pass the NCAA-mandated drug tests and can show where that’s happened, he is making a sound decision that will make sure he’s able to field a team that won’t run afoul of antiquated NCAA rules.  Too bad he’s not venting his anger at the NCAA instead of Colorado pols. Because in my opinion, that’s where he should be directing it.

I had no reason to play this other than the fact that I wanted to hear it. Its my right!

Good luck out there today, friends.