Striking a blow for equality, an unidentified woman ripped off the shackles of the patriarchy and became a female mass shooter today. What a more appropriate place is there than Progressive YouTube Headquarters to prove to the world that women are just as capable as men? Although her massacre cannot compare to the devastation wrought by her male counterparts, she did manage to successfully wound three people and twist the ankle of a fourth before shooting herself. You go Grrrl! In her defense, she probably was exhausted from having to walk there all the way from a gun shop in Indiana.
And now that we have shattered the glass ceiling in addition to windows, those seeking equality of outcome need to start pushing to end the ridiculous gender imbalances still infesting our society. First and foremost, the homicide rate at a ridiculously lopsided 79% male. More women need to be murdered by their fellow man woman, which will also even out the blatantly sexist 96% percentage of male murderers. And while we are at it lets tackle the inequality of suicide rates (67%) and the incarceration rate (82% male).
But should we really stop there? We cannot truly end the patriarchy until we see and equal number of women die from work related injuries (93% men) and force more women to be chronically homeless and live on the streets (75% men), push more women to die of heart disease (62% men), cancer (58% men) and the ultimate sign of equality – fix the average life expectancy gender differential.
So let’s do it ladies! Let’s pull up our sleeves and demand 100% equality of outcome! These men have had it too good for too long.