Well that was a short weekend. And a short time at home for me. Back on the road again today for a few days at a minimum.
You know who wishes they could do what I have to do and spend a lot of time away from home? The Tampa Bay Lightning, that’s who. They got freight-trained in games 1 and 2 of the Wales Conference Finals, having fallen yesterday to the Capitals 6-2 at home. And yesterday probably wasn’t as close as the score indicated. The Capitals were toying with them. Just toying with them. Meanwhile, in the Campbell Conference Finals, the J-E-T-S, Jets! Jets! Jets! got off to a fantastic start against Army/Vegas on Saturday, doubling up the Black or Golden Knights 4-2 to take the first game of the series. The second game is tonight, and Vegas better pull their collective head out of their collective ass or they’re gonna find themselves in the same boat the Lightning are in. And that boat is sinking fast.
Over in the NBA, the Fighting LeBrons found out that a young Celtics team is probably not going to be intimidated by them as long as James is held to shooting outside under pressure. Game 1 was an ass-kicking by the Celtics. The WCF starts tonight.
And the Dodgers just got swept in a 4 game series at home. By the fucking Cincinnati Reds, who are arguably the worst team in baseball not residing on the South Side of Chicago. My what it must feel like to be a fan of that team, what with all the lofty expectations with everyone returning and the shit-talking about how the Astros stole the World Series last year. Hang in there, guys!
Oh, the Astros are in first in their division and have reeled off 6 of 7, by the way. And have given up a ridiculously low 111 runs so far this season, which is 40 better than their closest AL competitor. Huh, maybe defense (and a kickass rotation) does win games after all.
And in soccer, the EPL wrapped yesterday, with Swansea going down and Liverpool nabbing the fourth UCL spot for next year after thrashing Brighton. Mo Salah (Egyptian King) broke the EPL season goal-scoring record for 38 games and Chelsea and Arsenhole will be enjoying Thursday European football in the fall. In fact, the UCL, with the exception of Spurs, will reside exclusively in the northwest. Sorry, London, but your teams suck.
Born on this date were Star Wars creator (and destroyer) George Lucas, filmmaker Robert Zemeckis, Talking Head David Byrne, actor Tim Roth, bassist Mike Inez, annoying woman Cate Blanchett, and dickhead billionaire/conspirer with government Mark Zuckerberg.
Its also the day the first English settlement in the new world was established at Jamestown. And the day the delegates met in Philly to draw up the constitution (probably to boos, if I know anything about Philly-man). Lewis and Clark left St Louis for the west coast. Israel declared independence. And finally, the last Seinfeld episode aired and managed to disappoint everyone in America.
You get all that? Good. Because it ran on for too long anyway, so I ain’t got time to repeat it. Instead, I need to hurry on and get to…the links!
Play stupid games, like invading a sovereign nation, win stupid prizes. I swear, if they spent half the time worrying about their own infrastructure and economy rather than destroying someone else’s, they might have solved for cold fusion by now. Or at least figured out how to build a coal-powered electrical plant and operate it without outside help.
The result is that marketers are now making concerted efforts to learn more about Americans who live outside New York and California. HP’s recent research on marketing and political identity included visits to the swing-state cities of Cincinnati and Detroit. Late last year, the ad agency Y&R, using a division of the firm that had previously overseen cultural immersion projects in Myanmar and Ecuador, deployed strategists to immerse themselves in cities like Indianapolis and Milwaukee, Wis.
LOL, if your marketing arm is so out of touch with America that they have to do cultural immersion in Cincinnati and Milwaukee in order to connect with people outside the progressive bubbles of New York and Hollywood, you might want to cleanse the entire department with fire and start over.
Mother Nature continues to kick Hawaii in the balls. Maybe if the people there hadn’t decided to build their homes literally on top of an active volcano, I’d feel a little sympathy for them. But probably not.
Another fanatic in “enlightened” gun-free Paris decides to get stabby…and nobody is there to shoot the fucker dead until there’s a body count. Funny they don’t try this shit in Houston, Phoenix or Missoula.
Didn’t anybody teach this kid that the only winning move is not to play?
Thank God the leaders of the film industry are pledging to improve gender equality. Especially since, you know, they are probably the most morally bankrupt industry out there aside from the whores who go into politics.
That’s it. Except for this.
Go enjoy the start of the week.