…and the confirmed predictions keep rolling in!  Between the Glibs engagement, hookups with hotties, and the fishing fotos we have further proof that the stars never lie.*

What do we have for you this week?  Well, as always, some things stay the same.  The sun is still in Taurus, so that’s good for ranchers. We still have Mercury in Aries harshing everyone’s mellow and making my job harder.  And we still have a retrograde Jupiter in Scorpio.  But…

I hate it when amateurs mix up celestial and Enochian scripts, but whatchagonnadoo?

Celestial Ying-Yang

This week we have an odd alignment of that retrograde Jupiter with Sol and our own Terra Firma.  That amplifies the Jovian effects out the celestial ying-yang.  So it becomes more important to get a handle what Jupiter is actually doing as it’s spinning the wrong way through Scorpio.  I think in this case, it’s crucial to get some context from the rest of the chart and how it relates to this.   So as above, we’ve got the Mercury in Aries thing.  This tension/ambivalence  simultaneously makes our interpretation both easier and harder.  It indicates that both of alternativeinterpretations will be true, but that we won’t be able to necessarily know how they are applying.  The conclusions are:

  • Your OCD is going to be worse than usual.
  • You should spend some time focusing on your genitals.
  • If you have the opportunity to cloister yourself with someone (actually two someones, see below) for said genital-focusing you should take it.
  • Said time should involve “unnatural acts.”

Venus in Gemini indicates it’s a great time for three-way lovin’, twincest, and/or mirror use.  Related to that, there is also an alignment of Venus with Sol and Mercury, so if this is your first time with said twins, take it.  Actually, why would you need me to tell you to accept the offer of a threeway with a set of twins?  What is wrong with you?

In non-hot-group-action signs,  we have an addition to the sports betting signals that have been hanging out for a few weeks:  the moon comes into conjunction with mars.  This is a change sign, so if you’ve been lucky betting on a particular team, this week they will let you down.

Tarot update:  I suck at image editing, and I’ve been busier than something that is extremely busy in folksy analogies.  If there is anyone out there who is competent and enjoys this sort of thing, let me know.

There is a reason the Rider-Waite deck is so popular: it’s got a ton of detail to fixate on and inspire drug-assisted mental connections.  So sometimes (barring the intervention of actual artists) I’ll be just adding things onto existing cards, like so:

Awfully young for an empress, don't you think?

So here, it’s a simple matter of replacing the scepter with a banhammer and adding Her initials to the shield.  We get to keep the reclining position, the crown of stars, etc. that are used for interpretation cues.

While I do like R-W, it seems more appropriate for The Tower to use one from The Cthulu Mythos Tarot:

Ia! Ia! ... you know the rest.

Of course, this brings up a good question:  How do we communicate the glibness of the Arcana?  The SPempress is relatively easy, as is The Sun, Reversed:

I really am supposed to be working right now.

Hello, Rufus!

But for SF, should we use the current hedobot avatar, or the earlier Snidely Whiplash?  Hedobot with a Snidely Whiplash mustache?

If anyone has a preference how they are to be represented, please let me know, or better yet, send me the artwork.  Honestly, an actual photo of Yusef with a bindle walking along the edge of a wall at Slab City would be AWESOME.