Trump-Kim summit: Deciphering what happened in Singapore
Saturday, Canada, Air Force One
“There’s nothing to be nervous about, Donald,” the hat said from his suit pocket. “The meeting with Kim will be tremendous.”
“I’m not nervous. How dare you suggest I’m nervous. I am never nervous. I am cool. Collected. Calm. Other words that start with ’c.’ Be quiet or I’ll put you in the baggage hold,” Donald savagely whispered.
The hair massaged Donald’s temples gently. “Do it. Put him in the baggage hold,” he said, the words resonating in Donald’s skull like the far-off explosion.
“Both of you need to shut up,” Donald said as he mounted the moving stairs. He paused at the top a waved back to the G7 protesters that followed him from the summit. They booed.
“Justin fans,” the hat sniffed. “What it is with Canada and faggots named Justin?”
The Secret Service inside the cockpit door nodded as they walked onto the plane. “Skyscraper is on the plane,” he said into his wrist. “He has Wig One and MAGA Prime. Wheels up in twenty.”
“WIG ONE?” the hair screeched. “I’m not a fucking WIG!”
The hat chuckled darkly.
Friday Night, Pyongyang, North Korea
Un surveyed the dark skyline of his capital city from his Presidential suite. He was waiting for his barber to climb the twenty floors to his rooms. The elevator was broken again. The mules just kept dying.
“Are you worried about meeting him?” his trilby asked.
“Of course, not. He has played right into my hands,” Un replied. He lifted his pudgy hands in the gloom and squeezed them together painfully.
“This is what I am going to meet him in,” Un said and twirled before his hat, the awkward coat-dress straining to hold back his stomach.
“Very regal,” the hat said.
“And it doesn’t make me look fat?” Un asked, twisting to show the trilby his fattened ass. He was wearing three pairs of Spanx smuggled in through his contacts in the Japanese government.
“Not at all. You look trim. Athletic. The very picture of a modern Asian man,” the hat said.
Un clapped his hands together and squealed with delight.
“And the dreams?” the hat asked. “Are you still having the dreams?”
A crease formed between Un’s brows and his expression darkened, like a toddler thwarted.
“Un?” the hat prodded. “The dreams?”
Un blushed and brushed his hand over his erection.
“The dreams don’t matter.”
Saturday, Pacific Ocean, Air Force One
“They’re saying we snubbed Justin,” the hair said, flipping through the news channels.
“I’d like to snub him in the taint,” the hat said. “I’d like to grow legs, grow feet, huge feet, put on a pair of huge boots and snub him right in the taint until his taint faints.”
“He’s a smug little bastard, all right,” the hair said. “Let’s tell Sean to run another story about him being gay.”
“I’ll call him right now.”
“What time is it there?” the hair asked.
“Who gives a fuck. We call and that little shit answers or we release the photos.”
Donald snored loudly in the chair behind them. He choked and stopped breathing and woke up enough to mumble, “Kim is also a girl’s name,” and smiled to himself.
Saturday Night, or Sunday Morning, or maybe Monday, Singapore
Rumpled and gassy, Donald was wrestled into a new suit while Air Force One sat on the tarmac and pushed through the door into the humid Singapore night.
“What fucking time is it?” the hair asked, barely holding on to Donald’s head.
“Beats the fuck outta of me,” the hat muttered.
“I’m hungry. Does this shithole country even have McDonald’s? Why is so dark? I need an ocean of Diet Coke,” Donald grumbled. The protocol droid prodded him toward the delegation there to meet him.
“Yes, hello, hello,” Donald said, thoroughly bored. He shook hands with one tiny person after another.
“Yes, historic meeting, honored to be here, lovely country, I guess, it is the middle of the night after all, blah, blah.’ He grinned toothily and stumbled into his limo.
“I need to go back to sleep,” Donald said. He pulled out his phone and started scrolling through Twitter.
“Fucking Jimmy Fallon,” Donald said. He lifted a leg and farted lustily. He pulled MAGA Prime from his suit coat and tossed him on the seat beside him.
“Jesus Fucking Christ, Donald,” the hat groused. “It’s like your ass is where eggs go to die.”
“Thank God I’m up here,” the hat said.
“Shut up. I’m the President of the United States and I fart wherever and whenever I feel like it. It’s in the goddamn Constitution.”
“Uh,” the hair said.
“I said to shut it, mister,” Donald said. “Where the hell are we? I thought we were flying to Singapore.”
“This is Singapore, Donald,” the hat said.
“If this is Singapore,” Donald asked, “then why does everyone look Chinese?”
Monday Afternoon, Air China, Somewhere over the South China Sea
Un fumbled in the airplane bathroom for his penis, reaching deep in his gunt for the elusive erotic eel. The plane lurched and he lost it again among his protolabial folds.
“What the fuck is that?” his hat asked.
“Evasive maneuvers,” Un grunted. “To fool missiles.”
“OK,” the hat said noncommittally.
“I have many enemies,” Un said proudly. “I am going to execute many more generals in the coming weeks.”
“Good for you.”
“And the South Koreans all hate me. They hate me with their cell phones and their night-time young-oriented romantic drama TV programs and their working toilets.”
The plane lurched again and their own toilet gurgled ominously.
“Most of all,” Kim said, puffing out his chest, “They hate me with their lavish, wasteful buffets.”
“There it is,” the hat said.
Un’s erect penis poked out like the leathery head of a frightened terrapin.
Tuesday Morning, Shangri La Hotel, Singapore
“Un went clubbing last night,” the hat said, reading Twitter.
“Of course he did,” the hair replied. “While we sat in this fleabag hotel and listened to Tubby snore and fart and sleep-eat Big Macs.”
Donald shout-sang over the sounds of his shower, “I’m walking on sunshine, oh-whoa, and don’t it feel good!”
“Hurry up in there!’ the hair shouted.
“He didn’t even wake up for a Singapore piss hooker,” the hat said glumly.
“They could have never gotten one up here,” the hair said.
“The Secret Service can do it if they wanted to,” the hat said. “If there is one thing that Secret Service excels at, it’s hookers.”
“Yeah, I guess,” the hair replied.
“I bet they have good piss hookers too. Singapore is very clean,” the hat said. “Singapore piss is probably better for you than Oaxacan tap-water.”
“ALL RIGHT, NOW!”
“Donald!” the hair called, “Hurry up, we have to got get on a boat!”
“A boat?” Donald asked, confused. He shut the shower off. “A boat?”
“We are going out to an island for the summit.”
“This is an island. Singapore is an island already,” Donald said.
“A different island, Donald,” the hat said. “The summit is on a different island.”
“I don’t like boats,” Donald said. “They sink. They sink in the water.”
“I’m sure the boat is very safe, Donald,” the hair said soothingly.
“NO BOATS!” Donald roared. He stomped out of the bathroom, wet, nude, bald, gross and swaying.
“There’s a monorail,” the hat said, looking up from Donald’s phone. “Or we could just drive there.”
“You can’t drive to an island, you idiot,” Donald sneered.
“The monorail it is,” the hair said.
“I told you: NO BOATS!” Donald shouted.
Tuesday Morning, Sentosa Island
“There’s no need to be nervous,” his hat said. Un dropped the newspaper he had rolled and unrolled compulsively, mindless, and finally twisted into a tight spiral until it creaked like an old hinge in his fat hands.
“He is so tall. I will look like a fat midget next to him. I should have worn the shoes. The big shoes,” Un said miserably.
“If the reporters had gotten pictures of those, they would have never stopped making fun of you,” the hat said.
“I would have had them all put to death, even the foreign devils. Vlad will give me all the polonium I want. Vlad is my friend.”
“They say Vlad is Donald’s friend as well,” the hat said in almost a whisper.
“Nuh-uh!” Un said and pushed the hat off the divan. “Vlad said I was his best friend. We got tattoos together. He even let me lick his before he put it on!”
Tuesday, Setosa Island
Donald was just a few feet away. Un pushed down the sudden urge to wipe his sweaty hands on his coat-dress. His penis struggled treacherously against the stranglehold of the Spanx. He grinned widely and talked toward Donald.
Donald tried to ignore the erection that his pants slid across sinuously with every step. He smiled and lifted his hand.
Right before they touched, a tiny spark of electricity jumped out to join their hands. They looked into each other’s eyes and the smiles fell away. They knew each other’s dreams. And that they were about to become real.
.
.
.
Meanwhile, Back in North America
Nancy, Chuck, Anderson, Dianne, George, Barry, and Michelle all kneel in a semi-circle around the young man.
“Brave,” Nancy mutters.
“So brave,” Chuck replies.
“Resist,” Dianne hisses. The word makes its way through all the rest of their clenched teeth.
Barry rises and holds up a biodegradable butter knife and proclaims: “THE TWINK IN THE NORTH!”
The rest of them rise as well and hold up their own dull knives and hoarsely yell at Justin: “THE TWINK IN THE NORTH!”
The Dems do kind of seem like Moonies.
I get the ending.
Kat Dennings Would.
I’d motorboat Kat Dennings until the sweet black blanket of asphyxiation took me.
yes.
but that curvalicious body shape has a limited shelf life (no pun)
eventually the giant hips and ginormous titties converge and its just a 5’3″ venus of willendorf
*still would. she seems nice.
A.) But what a ride!
B.) By the time that happens I’ll probably be no great shakes myself.
Not my thing, She looks like she should be a dwarf, but isn’t for some reason.
Holy shit!
Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
My kids were watching Guy’s Grocery Games, of all random things, and I said the same thing about one of the judges – he looks exactly like a dwarf, yet he’s full-sized.
*glass shatters*
Dammit!!!
The Trudeau human sacrifice really ties it all together.
Wouldn’t it, though?
Not a sacrifice, a proclamation of fealty.
https://youtu.be/z2w7IdiPPSc?t=1m
A guy can dream, can’t he?
https://youtu.be/621Nk3Ubz4A
Please tell me it didn’t end up well for the GoT knights/king.
Not particularly, no.
I mean, I’ve heard that’s a safe bet for almost everyone on that show, but it’s good to know for sure.
The biodegradable butter knife was a nice touch.
Oh yeah, “THE TWINK IN THE NORTH!” had me sitting at my desk laughing.
I can’t wait for the Collected Hat & Hair to hit Amazon and become a best seller.
I’d like to do the illustrations for the beginning of each chapter. Much like the original Harry Potter illustrations.
No, no, no. H&H is too classy for that. They should be more like the original Strand illustrations for Sherlock Holmes.
A Study in Projectile Vomiting
I’d buy a print of that…Hell, after reading this;
I might model for it.
If that wasn’t quite enough to put you over the edge, don’t forget this line:
*resumes puking*
I’m scared of the parasite that comes out of it like the little head of the xenomorph in Alien.
Like this only rooting around in a jet-black primeval jungle of swamp-ass.
*joins Swiss in puking*
That’s when I’ll know the world is ending.
The trilby, the hatwear of choice for murderous autocrats.
He’s not a murderous autocrat. He’s Just a plain, no-nonsense, old-fashioned Tory.
You might say that. I couldn’t possibly comment.
I can watch the first series over and over. It’s right up there with Yes Minister/Prime Minister & The Thick of It as my favorite political series.
Agreed. After Richardson’s performance, it’s pretty much impossible to see Kevin Spacey’s performance as anything but sort of a boring weasel.
How long ’til the hipsters abandon their man buns in favor of the KimKut?
I have a very bad feeling that we are about to be subjected to the worst SF dialog yet.
Worst, best; tomayto, tomahto.
Worst SF yet?!
The elevator was broken again. The mules just kept dying.
And this here is why I keep coming back.
Agreed – that was just inspired.
Is Ralph Steadman still alive? I think he might be capable of doing justice to the Hat & Hair.
H.R. Geiger would have been perfect. Alas…..
More suitable – Hieronymus Bosch…
I love buddy film dialog!
The hair is too old for that shit.
“Thank God I’m up here,” the
hathair said.I think this is right. I’m kinda confused right now.
When did you start sneaking in real-life quotes?
To be fair, I rode with a Malay taxi-driver on my way to the Night Safari that complained about the same thing.
Propaganda Wars
So, did Trump really show Kim this video? According to an article I just read. Why haven’t I seen this until now? If it really happened, that’s some pretty good propaganda. Beats Obama’s bowing at least, no matter how corny it is. Now maybe Trump shows Kim the Hat and Hair? No, maybe that will scare him away.
That video reminded me quite a bit of the commercials for Veridian Dynamics from Better Off Ted.
I’ll never understand how that show didn’t catch on but dreck like Two and a Half Men can be a massive hit for a decade.
2-1/2 Men was unwatchable. It only makes sense that my mother-in-law would love it.
Same here. I guess it’s the favorite of mothers in law everywhere.
Is that available streaming? I might just have to rewatch.
Sadly, no, at least not on Netflix which is the only one I have. There are a few episodes on YouTube.
Easily one of the best comedy shows in years. I was super disappointed when it got canceled.
Corporate is pretty good though.
I have to say, if Porkchop steers his country away from the horrific totalitarianism that they currently suffer under, as bad as he is, he will deserve credit and a place in history. I hear a lot of people gnashing their teeth that he is being legitimized or that Trump degrades us by merely talking to the guy with no regard for the tens of millions whose lives would be improved exponentially by liberalizing that government. So Porkchop gets richer and lives his life out without ever paying the price for what he has done. That is a small price to pay to have a country that is effectively an open air prison dismantled.
Agreed. By the reasoning of those complaining, FDR was orders of magnitude worse than Trump on that front. Not only did he have normal relations with Stalin, but he outright allied with him. But, let’s be honest here. How many of the people complaining about “legitimizing” him would be saying a goddamned word if the president had a “D” following his name?
If the president had a “D” following his name they would be singing his praises and proclaiming him a genius/God.
Yep, I can just imagine the media if this were Obama doing this. It would be sickening.
It is sickening.
Is “less than zero” a thing?
According to my bank balance, yes.
Absolutely.
Haven’t seen the Democrats this mad since Lincoln freed the slaves.
– an old favorite
They were already all wee weed up about the economy.
That actually makes a lot of sense. Letting one murderous tyrant live may not be too much of a price to pay to save millions more from dying or living the rest of their lives in abject poverty and fear. Of course, we could kill him and still save them, at the risk of millions of Koreans dying in another war. Trump seems to be trying the more humane path. And if it works, there’s always the chance that someone in NK who have seen family enslaved and murdered, might wind up assassinating Kim.
Kim could probably just leave. He might be more amenable to liberalization. Think Marcos, The Shah, Batista. Give the guy a beach condo and hefty allowance.
I cant remember which one it was because there were so many but some exiled goon from…Bolivia?….was sitting at an outdoor cafe in…Havana?…. with his entourage in exile when a family member of one of his victims calmly walked by and nonchalantly dropped a live grenade in his pocket. God, I wish I could remember who that was and I cant find it with a search.
You may be thinking of Samoza getting RPG’d in Paraguay in 1980.
Allegedly, yes. I think he tweeted that saying he’d shown it to Kim. The wife and I had a talk about it, to my everlasting chagrin.
I mean, it’s a propaganda/sales video, sure, but some of the symbolism is pretty smart.
Wikipedia
I noted with some interest the link between the white horse and the presumably mythological Korean king who united the three separate Korean kingdoms.
So basically, he treated Un just like an investor in any of his real estate ventures and gave him a sales video. If it works to get someone to give you $50M to build condos, it might just work to get a guy to allow American investment for the cost of turning loose of his nukes with America guaranteeing their territorial integrity.
“And you will get a free bonus room, plus a hot tub, on the condo we picked out for you!”
I’m assuming the shitter is 24k gold?
Only after a night of Goldschläger shots.
Excellent………..
I mean, I don’t care if he showed him a Diffr’nt Strokes Christmas Special so long as the end result is that he’s chatting happily about getting rid of his nukes.
“A Very Special Episode of…”
Star Wars Christmas ?
Better than TLJ or Solo in retrospect?
Haven’t seen, don’t plan on it
“I mean, it’s a propaganda/sales video, sure, but some of the symbolism is pretty smart.”
Agreed, that is exactly what I was saying, propaganda, but pretty good propaganda.
“snub him in the taint until his taint fainted.”
My wife keeps asking me why I won’t stop laughing.
“Fainted Taint” — the new album by NoBrow and the ZooLanders!
“The Twink in the North! The Twink in the North!”
I will think of that every time I see Trudeau again for the rest of my life.
Same here.
I kind of already did.
I just conjure up a scene of the Canadian version of Pajama Boy in my head.
I know I’m just going to have to loudly proclaim that when I see him on TV, and I will get an odd look from my wife.
I am sooo stealing that. My wife will give me that quizzical look and say ‘whaaatttt’? Just like she did the first time she heard me refer to him as Zoolander.
Yeah, I get that look and then she wants to know where that shit came from. She knows about Glibertarians, but she doesn’t know about SugarFree.
It is long past overdue for you to talk to your families about me.
*chickens out*
They would take my internet away if they knew about you SF
I have to admit I thought The Twink In The North was reserved for Dino Ciccarelli.
Lucrative careers within the democrat party a lock.
https://hotair.com/archives/2018/06/13/antifa-protesters-dubbed-berkeley-five-trial-today/
Oooooh, they’re some real tough guys, huh?
Well, we’ve seen that when the odds are anywhere close to even they get the living shit kicked out of them.
Fuck these guys. I’m sick of these assholes initiating violence against people and then arguing that they were protecting theoretical people who weren’t there from an imaginary threat that was never made to do violence that never happened. They’re thugs at best, little punk bitches at worst. They should be charged with felony assault and conspiracy. The law should go after them with the same vehemence as the Klan back in the day or the Mafia in the 80s and 90s. But of course that won’t happen, because the DOJ and the FBI are infested by swamp creatures who love this shit.
This is how you get vigilantism, incidentally.
It’s how you get dead in a free state. I notice I haven’t heard much about these idiots lately. I think their handlers figured out it’s not a winning tactic in most of the country and instructed the local morons to lay low until the elections are over.
*rising intonation* how dare you question our future political leaders?
The only description I see missing from that article is ‘communist thugs’. The shit their supporters say is indistinguishable from the language and tack taken by all communist and fascist thugs from history. Indistinguishable because they are the same kind of people with the same goals and tactics.
Anyone who thinks it cant happen here is lying to themselves.
It would appear that so far, the criminal justice system is not buying the “words are literally violence” argument.
That’s a handsome bunch of winners.
“By Any Means Necessary (BAMN) has dubbed them the “Berkley Five” and is encouraging supporters to pack the courtroom to support them.”
Get out there and support them thugs!
The cops can get away with doing that to intimidate jurors because…cops. Judges are scared of cops and for good reason.
A bunch of commie thugs with no union or political power? Not so much. They will get their asses tossed out of the court.
encouraging supporters to pack the courtroom to support them.
I’d post a cop at the entrance to take pictures of everybody who shows up for the trial.
I can’t wait to see what happens to the bike lock guy when he’s confronted by actual, honest-to-goodness Aryan Nation types when he’s in prison. It won’t turn out like he thinks.
My guess? He will join up in a second and become their most vocal and fervent member.
Or he’ll try to gain favor with the blacks or Latinos by boasting about how super-woke he is to the systemic oppression that they face in this country, which also won’t work very well for him.
Either way, he’ll be somebody’s bitch.
They will pass him around till nobody can tell if he is farting or yawning…
I dunno, Suthen. Even the Aryan Nation has standards.
The guy who carried my groceries out to the car told me his sister’s boyfriend’s uncle lives across the street from a guy whose kid takes swimming lessons with an FBI agent’s daughter, and she told the kid Trump showed Kim a Golden Corral commercial, and then the one of the hot chick (not Paris Hilton) eating a big juicy Carl’s Jr hamburger. Kim’s going to trade all his nuke tech for the sole rights to Golden Corral and Carl’s Jr on the Korean Peninsula. But don’t tell anybody where you heard that.
I thought Kim was talked into transforming himself into the real estate Don of the Korean Peninsula.
*WaPo/NYT lurkers rush to print latest ‘scoop’*
Those Hardee’s/Carl’s Jr commercials were the greatest thing ever put on regular television.
The guy who carried my groceries out to the car told me his sister’s boyfriend’s uncle lives across the street from a guy whose kid takes swimming lessons with an FBI agent’s daughtera well placed source…/WaPo reporter
*Thread fail*
/MikeS
I should change my name to Anonymous Source, maybe Anonymous Source Close to the Administration, and start charging royalties.
Don’t be P Brooks – one is enough!
“Someone familiar with Trump’s thinking” is my favorite
…so, SugarFree.
*raucous applause*
I’m still laughing
I’d like to hear more about this mule-powered elevator.
C’mon NK isn’t that backward. The mule is the elevator operator not the motive power. Think of it as Clever Ji-woo. Without the elevator operator, that car is going nowhere.
Sheesh.
Don’t be P Brooks – one is enough!
I agree!
Uh oh.
I don’t like to go OT in non-links threads, but this one seems to kind of fit under a SF story.
Huge snake slithers out of Texas man’s toilet. Deputy wrangles it with her bare hands
I did some quick
Facebook stalkingresearch; would.A snake slithered IN to my toilet this morning.
Would who – the cop or the snake?
Or stick your hands in that guy’s toilet?
Looks like she’s done that sort of thing before.
Gotta love a lady that knows how to wrassle a large snake…
or even a medium-sized one /guy in the back of the room
Why is there a cop on the scene? Did this Nancy call the cops over a damned harmless snake?
If you RTFA, you’ll know that he only called the police after conferring with his taxidermist friend who cautioned him that the snake was a protected species. He didn’t want some bullshit charge of killing a threatened animal.
Oh just pick the damned thing up and toss it out the back door then go take a shit. Be sure and hold it close enough behind it’s head that it cant turn around and bite your hand. No one ever had to know. Having a cop in your house is a hell of a lot more dangerous than a snake.
I can hear it now – “Sir, what is that I smell? Sir, what is that in your ashtray? Sir, is that firearm registered? Do you mind if I look around a little bit?”
Never invite a cop into your house.
Agreed.
He sure did. Right after knocking his 6 year-old son down on the way outta the bathroom.
He went full Costanza/. Never go full Costanza.
That middle pic…she looks likes she’s having fun.
In a panic, Vielock ran out of the bathroom so fast he accidentally knocked down his son, he said.
Why am I picturing George Costanza in the fire?
Always refresh before you post
*does the Icky shuffle*
I real cop would have shot the fuckin’ thing.
She took a look at what was down range and decided she didn’t want to shoot any Johns?
Hahaha! Oh Alex. You crack me up, man!
“I told her she can call me anytime she wants and I’ll come kill all the cockroaches she wants if she gets that snake out of the house,” Vielock told KSAT.
Well euphemismed, Mr. Vielock.
Haven’t seen the Democrats this mad since Lincoln freed the slaves.
Nice!
via Nick Gillespie
I think this is a semi-interesting question; not *very* interesting, but… has room for various POV maybe.
“Teacher Fired for Not Using Transgender Students Preferred Names”
tweets around the subject suggest he was calling boys girls, and girls boys, and making the kids cry, and fuck that guy. which sounds right.
but the actual story specifies: He only used students last names.
You’re a public official; you’re a teacher in a public school. you are regulated by the state. you have to be careful about what you do. This guy, a conservative christian (AFAIK), is trying to comply with policy while keeping his job. He’s trying to teach kids to play the trombone and trumpet, not play day-care for gender bending teenagers. so he calls kids by their last name.
Is this a “dick move”? (Nick G’s assessment)
Or is this some injustice for the guy getting canned, simply for not wanting to get involved in gender-politics?
Or is it neither? I’m undecided.
My first instinctive thought is that “real” transgender teens are in fact so rare that its likely 90% of the ones pretending to be-so are actually just assholes being catered to. But my instincts are pretty harsh, to be honest.
I thought John was older.
WTHR’s David MacAnally reports.
[raises eyebrow]
He’s going to get to the bottom of that story.
If he doesn’t make an ass of himself first
ITS PRONOUNCED “MAC-A-NALLY”
(kids) “giggle”
Raped by Ronald MacDonald?
STEVE SMITH GIVE YOU HIS OWN SPECIAL SAUCE!
HIM ONCE MEET MAYOR MCCHEESE AND GRIMACE. BY MEET, MEAN RAPE.
tweets around the subject suggest he was calling boys girls, and girls boys, and making the kids cry, and fuck that guy. which sounds right.
He didn’t want to call them by their preferred first name, so was using their last names.
It’s been a while since I was in school, but there was never an issue calling someone by their nickname or a diminutive form of their name. Judging by the amount of androgynous first names that parents are slapping on their kids these days, so what? Or stepping back a bit to when Marion, Stacey, Kim or Leslie were fairly common boys’ names.
I had teachers who called everyone by their last names, but a)it was private school so they could do whatever they wanted for the most part b)it was 1991 and schools didn’t cater to blubbering pussies back then.
I don’t think you’re far off. My 16 year old and her friends are into this. My daughter wants to be called “Nick” and one of her female friends wants to be referred to using “they” instead of “she”. But I find it hard to believe there are 5 or 6 truly transgender kids in a graduating class of 60.
To me, the gender thing is a fashion statement just like anything else “edgy” that teenagers do. Not much different than the punk hair cuts and clothes I had in high school. Although this time there are some very loud “adults” legitimizing it.
I remember when the world made sense to me.
Yup, just something to scare your parents. In my day it was pretending to be Satanist and drawing pentagrams all over your notebooks. It’s trendy, all the cool kids are doing it. There’s no way in hell that there suddenly are lots of actual transsexual kids at random Indiana high schools, plus in the current climate it gives them a type of power over their teachers. They can pout about how unfair it is that their teacher won’t call them by whatever name they choose and the school administrators will hop right to and make it happen. These kids will fuck around with pretending to be the other for a while, get bored with it by their early to mid 20s and move on.
That’s what I’m hoping for. For now, she gets deeply, personally offended when I don’t go along, so my plan is to just avoid the topic until she moves on.
“Nick? You mean like Saint Nick? How about I just call you “Santy Claus” sweetie?”
Yeah, Nick. Nick’s a real name. Nick’s your buddy. Nick’s the kind of guy you can trust, the kind of guy you can drink a beer with, the kind of guy who doesn’t mind if you puke in his car, Nick!
“When I get out of jail, I’m 36 years old.”
“Living in a flop house. No job. No home. No upward mobility. Very few teeth.”
Honestly, no-kidding, my favorite movie. I’ve seen it at least three dozen times, probably far more.
It’s a terrific movie. Definitely in my top 5.
And Daphne Zuniga? A solid wood.
Too Druish
Sister two is getting married in a few months. Her husband’s family are all rabid ultraprogs from NY and Maryland. They introduce themselves as “Hi, I’m Sarah. I identify as a cis het normative LBGTLMNOP Ally cookoo monga” or however it goes.
If I can stop from laughing, I plan on introducing myself in turn as a cis het shitlord.
If there’s more than one transgender in a class of 100, then it’s a faddish cry for attention on their part. By not acquiescing to their demands to be paid attention to thru the usage of their preferred names, the teacher was pissing all over their teenage sensibilities. I’m not surprised they tried to get even. After all, they’ll get extra attention for being the “victim” and fighting the patriarchy for doing so.
In short, fuck those kids. They’re little tyrants who aren’t just establishing their own individual identities, but also a little totalitarian state by making everyone else publicly affirm their choices.
the population of people who actually get gender-reassignment surgery and live lives as new-gender is something like 0.3%
the most-generous accounting of “those who want to, but can’t/dont, for whatever reason” might kick it up to 0.5%
iow, 1 in 100 would be 100% higher than the incidence observed over the last few decades.
further: the population who really does demonstrate PERMANENT gender dysphoria? tends to not actually show significant symptoms of it until their late-teens/20s. I might be mistaken about that (its possible its even *later*); the point being that incidence of symptoms in early-teenage years, even within that 0.5%? is an even tinier fraction of an already tiny population.
BUT, just like terrorism and school shootings, anything that gets a lot of press coverage *seems* to be very prevalent.
Sure.
the question is, why should something of such minuscule relevance to the wider population be something that demands govt intervention and justifies the firing of people who might have less-flexible opinion about the fluid nature of gender?
it aint like “Racism” where your bigotry directly affects large % of the population. Believing that “boys and girls” are what they are born as isn’t really quite the same, but it is being treated as such – if not worse.
There sure is a lot of math involving this issue. Don’t they know math is patriarchal and racist?
I know, I was being generous in order to avoid accusations of bias.
and, fwiw – i have nothing against the idea of treating people suffering from diagnosed gender dysphoria exactly how they would prefer to be treated.
I’m not personally drawing any particular line in the sand and being like, “because they’re a small population, discrimination against them should be popular and accepted”
ffs, it would be like saying, “well, fuck the blind and deaf. if they’re fucked up, that’s their problem: LEARN TO HEAR, DEAFY”
I’m not of that POV at all. If someone’s got some severe problem, cater to them. treat them w/ respect and help them be accepted as normal.
But what i object to, if i object to anything at all, is the idea that this guy was being especially discriminatory by treating everyone the same.
He was trying to avoid rocking the boat, but they basically said, “lack of affirmation is discrimination”
which goes back to the point i occasionally make about the persistent conflation of tolerance w/ affirmation.
“lack of affirmation is discrimination”
My point exactly. This isn’t about politeness, this is about control.
“lack of affirmation is discrimination”
The problem with this issue is that most people, especially myself, never really cared. Wanna wear a dress and call yourself Pinkie Pie? Knock yourself out. It affects my life in no way. If you are really psychologically fucked up, I am sorry. I have empathy for you and I will treat you with respect or help you if I can.
What is getting under people’s skin and likely increasing discrimination/dislike against them is having this shit rubbed in our face over and over. Stop demanding that other people change their behavior and language. Stop making a giant pain the ass out of yourself. Go mind your own business and I will go mind mine.
It’s the distinction between tolerance on one hand and enthusiastic endorsement on the other. I don’t really give a damn what anyone does – knock yourself out. It’s none of my business. Go forth and do whatever you want so long as you leave me alone.
These people aren’t in the business of leaving anyone alone.
If my son was in high school, I’d encourage him to insist on being called Lord Alex the Most High and claim that his pronoun is “His Excellency”
Exactly.
I don’t give a shit how others live their lives. Presume to give demands controlling my actions or speech and you will make an enemy out of me very quick.
If someone’s got some severe problem, cater to them. treat them w/ respect and help them be accepted as normal.
By and large, I agree. I do worry about whether going along with someone’s delusions is actually hurting them, but I really don’t know. I figure its just courteous, in social settings.
He was trying to avoid rocking the boat, but they basically said, “lack of affirmation is discrimination”
And that’s why I circle back to “Fuck these people”. They are totalitarians who want to control your mind, not merely authoritarians who want to control your actions. Expect me to be tolerant of something I don’t like, and I might go along. Try to force me to sing the praises of something I don’t like, and I will push back.
Teacher not a dick. Kids who complained and administration that backed them are insufferable pricks. Fuck them. In a year this guy will look back and thank god he is no longer in that job. His life will improve. The kids, not so much. Their lives will likely be pretty miserable.
In another semi-interesting news flash – boys are typically better athletes than girls.
Transgender Track Athlete Wins CT State Championship, Debate Ensues (another boy came in 2nd).
Obligatory
tweets around the subject suggest he was calling boys girls, and girls boys,
But isn’t that what the transgenders want?
Is this a “dick move”? (Nick G’s assessment)
No.
Or is this some injustice for the guy getting canned, simply for not wanting to get involved in gender-politics?
If he was just using last names, then it is an injustice.
So anyway, I was reading an AP story about the repeal of that Amazon Tax in Seattle (on my phone- so solly no linkee) and down toward the end there was a paragraph about how baffling it is that they spend and spend and spend on the homeless, but there seem to just be more homeless people every day.
It’s a conundrum, it is.
Maybe some sort of comparison with a place that has no real homeless problem might be in order?
But they’re so close to solving homelessness forever! They just need a teeny tiny bit more money – it’s the last time, I swear – then all the homeless will move into luxury townhouses!
I saw that AP story. It blamed rising homelessness on pay inequality and lack of affordable housing.
SF! You Win a Prize!
https://hotair.com/archives/2018/06/13/inevitable-trump-nominated-nobel-peace-prize/
I was just sure it would go to Porkchop.
ROFL. That’s going to inspire some good media freak outs.
“Norwegian Far Right Sabotages US Democracy”
Damn Quislings.
I was angling for a Pulitzer, but I’ll take what I can get.
SF angling.
Pretty much anybody can be nominated. I think any college professor can nominate you.
Huh, speaking of reptiles…I just went out to smoke a cigarette and walked around the yard a bit. I noticed a small turd on the ground. At first I thought it was an partially digested mulberry deposited by a bird. On closer examination I discovered that it was hundreds of compressed exoskeletons of carpenter ants. By the size and shape I recognize it as the product of a green anole. I walked around a bit until I found a large green anole and watched him for a few minutes. Sure enough a carpenter ant appeared and he snapped it up. I walked around the front, already suspicious as to why there are always anoles hanging out around my hummingbird feeders. I watched on of them and sure enough they wait on the pole to ambush sugar and carpenter ants crawling up the pole after the sugar water.
Carpenter ants. Where the fuck are they coming from? Better not be in my house. I had a couple of trees killed by lightning over the last year. I am hoping that is the source. Also, yay green anoles! You can never have too many of them.
Don’t have any carpenter ants. Do have carpenter bees, and those sumbitches are a menace. Little holes all over my deck. I kill them, more sprout up in their place.
Work doesnt have to be unpleasant. Buy yourself a Daisy Red Ryder BB gun and two of those packages of 6000 BBs.
It wont take much practice and you will be able to hit them one out of ten shots. Start on them early in the season, as soon as they appear, and you can thin them down to nothing. Then you wont have much problem with them for the rest of the season. It is pretty fun too.
Go back and plug the holes they have made with steel wool and/or expanding foam.
Isn’t that a bit short-sighted? What happens when he’s overrun by BB pellets?
Harvest them!
I thought you were going to tell him to shoot at the hive. 🙂
We have carpenter bees on our deck. My wife found somewhere that you can make a fake hornets nest and it will scare them away. It’s just a brown paper bag, stuffed with plastic bags, tied at the top, and hung somewhere high near the bee problem. It really does seem to work, but it keeps the hummingbirds away too.
My mother told me about that just yesterday. It must be a Facebook thing.
Facebook or Pinterest or both. We had a party a few weeks ago and I didn’t see a single bee despite it being 95 out.
Have a party in September if you want bees.
I hate those fuckers. I think I’m going to have to pay an exterminator to rid my house of them.
I’ll take carpenter ants or bees over the flying fucking termites we have here. There are places not that far from me where you simply cannot have a wood structure.
I feel I need to ask a question concerning your powers of lacertilian fecal discernment.
Biology minor. In ecological and critterology studies collecting/analyzing of critter poop is a big deal. I did several papers on Owl poop and Coyote poop. Bones and hair tells you what prey animals live in the area and in what proportions. In this case, exoskeletons.
I know someone specializing in hiker poop. Told em he should pick a different place to hike…
That sounds more like a fetish than a speciality.
Fort Worth, Home of TCU, hasn’t had horned frogs in the several decades since carpenter ants were displaced by fire ants. Indeed, I’ve never seen a horn frog east of Socorro NM.
Goddamned fire ants. I hate them. They are a menace, a plague and a blight on the earth. We have barely any quail, pheasant or turkey left and the whippoorwills are rare. Ground nesting birds have almost disappeared here.
I recently observed a hundred of so freshly hatched small hive beetles emerging from a fire ant bed. It occurs to me the SHB must live in hives other than honeybee, thus the endless source of beetles invading hives. Otherwise it seems they would be near eradicated with all of the beekeepers going after them so aggressively. I am in touch with the Louisiana Beekeepers Association about my observation. None of them had heard of that before. We are getting some interested keepers to try aggressive control of fire ants in the vicinity of beehives to see if that will reduce the number of invading beetles. It could be a real breakthrough. Keep your fingers crossed.
-30 seems to work up here.
The trick is to be in a place that has a cold enough winter to keep the fire ants at bay, but doesn’t have so many lakes that the mosquitos eat you alive instead.
Yeah, we fail there. Fucking Waterworld here.
But we fight back.
Good at keeping roaches at bay, too. When I lived in NH even my half-ass housekeeping meant I didn’t have them.
I never knew this until we moved to our new house, but we have tree frogs where we live in Indiana. They climb all over the house at night. Not enough of them to keep the bug population down, but they are really cool to watch.
We have zillions. On warm, humid summer nights in places the singing frogs and bugs can be so loud you have to raise your voice talking to someone five feet away. I can see a dozen on my porch on any given night.
Back in the 80’s I knew a young woman who moved here from El Centro, CA. She and her husband arrived by car in the middle of the night. When she got out of the car she was terrified by the high volume of night critter noises, so much so that she got back in the car and refused to get out. Most of the sounds were tree frogs. They didn’t live here long and she moved back to her beloved critter free California.
So Frogs was a documentary?
I cant believe anyone besides me remembers that movie.
I have family in your area and on occasional visits I’ve had to turn on the wipers to get tree frogs off the windshield.
We have also recently been invaded by the mediterranean pink gecko. The population just exploded in a year or two. That is a bug eating machine. Cant have too many of them either.
“I bet they have good piss hookers too. Singapore is very clean,” the hat said. “Singapore piss is probably better for you than Oaxacan tap-water.”
Donald should have taken them to The Seven Floors of Whores for haircuts with a happy ending. I have never been but I heard stories. I am not sure if they have pisshookers there but I am sure money could get you one. Hell, for the right price I would be a pisshooker.
PS another great installment. Good stuff.
Four floors. Not sure where seven came from
Wishful thinking?
So many legitimate LOLs in this one! Well done, SF!
“Un fumbled in the airplane bathroom for his penis, reaching deep in his gunt for the elusive erotic eel. The plane lurched and he lost it again among his protolabial folds.”
Here in the enlightened state of Idaho, we call this “eloquent prose”.