Trump’s Europe trip: Where he’s going on his 7-day visit with NATO allies and Putin
“I hate Europe,” Donald moaned as his limo inched its way through a throng of people cheerily ringing the bells on their twee bicycles. “I hate it, I hate the people, I hate the food, I hate how hard it is to find a simple damn Diet Coke.”
“There are four cases in the trunk, Donald,” the hair reminded him, “and twelve more on the plane.”
“What good are Diet Cokes in the trunk?” he asked, taking a drink of the Diet Coke in his hand.
“You can find some kinky-ass shit to do in Belgium,” the hat said.
“I hate Belgia,” Donald whispered.
Big Bush Park, Antwerp
“Back in, what, it must have been 1964, me and some friends ended up at this club in Antwerp, real underground place, and it was a live sex show. Freaky, man, real freaky.” the hat said and sighed.
“Freaky?” Donald asked.
“You have friends?” the hair asked.
“Oh, shut the fuck up,” the hat told the hair. “Real freaky, Donald. Bitches dressed up like antique furniture. Two dudes just pounding away on an escritoire, a guy spinning a Louis XIV armchair on his dick, DVDA on a breakaway chifferobe. Crazy stuff.”
“Really?” Donald asked. “Wow.”
“They came out into the audience, dude,” the hat said excitedly, “like The Lion King.”
“This is bullshit,” the hair declared.
“Like The Lion King?” Donald asked excitedly.
“Bulllllllllshit,” the hair sang.
“Yeah, man,” the hat continued. “A skinny chick dressed like a whale-oil lamp queefed right in my buddy’s face.”
“Whoa,” Donald said.
“Bullshit, bullshit, bulllllllshit,” the hair sang again.
“I am going to kick your ass, fucker,” the hat said.
The hair drew itself into a tight bun on Donald’s head and hissed.
“Queef,” Donald mumbled and smiled. He drained the last of his Diet Coke and slurped noisily at the bottom of his glass with his straw while rattling the ice.
“And who,” the hair asked in a tight, high voice, “Was this friend of yours who got…” The hair paused, “‘Queefed’ on?”
Norman Mailer and his crotch, Diane Arbus, 1963
“Norman Mailer,” the hat said crisply.
“Norman Mailer?!?” the hair asked incredulously.
“Norman Mailer,” the hat replied.
“Norman Mailer. The author of The Naked and the Dead?”
“Well, I called him ‘Norm,” but yeah.”
“The Executioner’s Song? The Armies of the Night?!? That Norman Mailer?”
“Yup, she queefed right in his face,” the hat said.
“Dammit,” Donald said. “Why won’t the window roll down?” He smacked the panel on the door.
“Security,” the hair said.
“I want to roll the window down,” Donald said, still fiddling with the buttons.
“Man, you should have seen the look on his face,” the hat said, still lost in reminiscence.
“Why do you want to roll the window down?” the hair asked.
“Never mind,” Donald said, sulking.
“You were going to yell ‘queef’ out the window, weren’t you?” the hat asked.
“Yeah,” Donald said. He settled back into the rich leather of the limo and sucked his teeth loudly.
“Real freaky, Donald. Bitches dressed up like antique furniture.”
I cant even form the words….
Two dudes just pounding away on an escritoire, a guy spinning a Louis XIV armchair on his dick, DVDA on a breakaway chifferobe.
SugarFree never disappoints.
I don’t know whether to be happy or sad I don’t know what moseof that means.
Happy. Be happy.
*1000 yard stare*
An escritoire is a type of secretary or writing desk.
The fun ambiguity in “Two dudes just pounding away on an escritoire” is… are they pounding away on each other, or are they corn-holing the desk/drawers?
Nicely done.
Either way they be corn-holing?
Nice Airbus reference.
*That was actually her nickname because of the queef tendencies.
It doesn’t matter if that’s not true because I really want it to be.
The hair drew itself into a tight bun on Donald’s head and hissed.
I…I…can see that, so clearly, in my mind’s eye. HELP ME!
Medical science has only come so far
A doctor won’t help. Swissy needs a hypnotist or an exorcist.
+1 THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU
“A skinny chick dressed like a whale-oil lamp queefed right in my buddy’s face.”
I want that to be my epitaph.
*puts together simple advanced directive for Scruffy Nerfherder*
Sign here, and here, and here.
That’ll be $900 plus expenses. Have a lovely day.
Someone is showing an entrepreneurial spirit…
Queefqueg.
That’s how he got those tattoos.
Its the ultimate aphrodisiac.
Now I want to yell ‘queef’ out of a window.
Who’s stopping you?
My window won’t go down, either.
These euphemisms.
Mine does!
*cranks open window*
I hereby summon Heroic Mulatto
What the…
Would.
Absolutely
OT & tennis spoiler:
Federer out
Porn in which the girl queefs is always amusing.
Its almost always in the outtakes.
SJWednesday: Parents Just Don’t Understand Edition
In short, before we let your son in the girl’s bathroom, we require a little further verification.
I fail to understand how using the opposite sex’s bathroom is a “right”.
This is more about using the public education system to not only allow, but encourage specific behaviors. They’re pissed because a significant number of people spoke up and said “No, parents have the right to know what’s going on at school with their child”
I think of it as a privilege.
A former employer of mine at a private college, banned a guy who worked there from campus for going into the women’s bathroom and locker room on several occasions. The last time he claimed he was looking for his sister. That was sort of a lame excuse as well as not being believable in the slightest. Now days, I suppose that very same college throw guys off campus for not using the ladies room. They got woke, you know.
Its stupidly easy to make the argument that allowing people to use the opposite sex’s bathroom is a violation of current anti-discrimination law, because it will have a disparate impact on women (far more biological males “identify as” chicks than biological females “identify” as dudes, thus, more biological males will use the women’s room than vice versa). Current law prohibits sex discrimination, and aside from the ultra vires brain farts of woke administrative agencies, is utterly silent on gender identity. Thus, adopting a policy that disparately impacts women (who are for the most part pretty strongly opposed to dudes in the women’s room) is illegal sex discrimination.
I loves me a proper use of ultra vires…
“There’s a large a percentage of the homeless population between [age] 16 and 24 which is made up of LGBTQ kids who have been thrown out of their home.”
I call bullshit. First of all, you cannot throw out your kid at 16. The 18 to 24 year olds are getting thrown out for not getting a job or going to college, and probably for being a lazy quarrelsome slob. Then they blame it on being LGBTQ because that’s the best way to get victim status.
you cannot throw out your kid at 16
That would come as surprise to a couple of the kids in my family.
Legally… physically, certainly.
I mean the assumption that just because something is illegal, it doesn’t happen seems fairly silly on a libertarian site. And having dug into the statistics a bit “thrown out” seems to also include driven out of the home by emotional, sexual, physical abuse from family members, which is even more of a bummer than “well son, you’re gay and 16, time to move to SF and find an apartment, and work as a gogo boy as is your people’s tradition bye!”
What’s more non-gender conforming than disappearing up your own asshole?
There’s a large a percentage of the homeless population between [age] 16 and 24 which is made up of LGBTQ kids who have been thrown out of their home.”
Ima bet that’s bullshit.
There’s a large a percentage of the homeless population between [age] 16 and 24 which is made up of
LGBTQ kidsschitzophrenics who have been thrown out of their home because the parents can’t cope.”Some of them identify as trans.
“Yeah, man,” the hat continued. “A skinny chick dressed like a whale-oil lamp queefed right in my buddy’s face.”
You just can’t get quality like this in mainstream literature.
Reason # 37 to read Glibertarians.com.
…
We might need another Big Man Tyrone video.
Have him read the top 10 Hat and Hair excerpts.
Comedy. Gold.
That…. totally works.
Perfection. We live in perfection.
Is it better to live in a universe with SugarFree, or to live in SugarFree’s universe?
Yes.
OT and reposting from Morning Lynx cuz they dead:
Keep it up. Hollywood’s hit jobs against Trump have been soooooo effective so far. Bring in a third-rate, one-trick-pony comedian and it’ll totes work this time.
http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2018/07/10/new-sacha-baron-cohen-series-right-wing-hit-job-source-says.html
Let’s see the final product before jumping all over it.
Meh. This is what he does. To everyone.
Yes it is. And it’s just as unfunny and tedious the 100th time as the 1st.
I dispute the everyone part…
He has shown a certain political inclination, and in the #metoo world I can see him wanting to virtue signal..
And Palin screeching about how Baron Cohen is “evil” produces the exact reaction he desires.
Hook. Line. Sinker.
Took you long enough. I posted the summoning link upthread a couple of hours ago.
Next time, I’ll find a crossroads or something.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I had jumped on your back to mount you.
SQUEAL LIKE A PIG INDIANA JONES!
*hands HM his riding crop*
Good riding, sir!
I was a huge fan of the original Ali G series on HBO.
Guess who the one guy was who didn’t fall for his shit?
That’s right. Donald Trump.
He immediately figures out that it’s a waste of time and politely excuses himself.
I remember that.
All the political sycophants got had..
That’s why we need to repeal Citizens United – shit like this would be regulated!
Higher intelligence comes with a cost.
What is Medium just discovering VHEMT? This was my desktop wallpaper in college.
Those guys have been around for a while. I never could tell if it was just an elaborate troll, or delusional morons taking environmentalism to its logical conclusion. If the latter, I have to give them credit for actually being intellectually consistent with watermelon death cult principles. Though, if they were actually serious, they would have all committed suicide already.
I don’t know that there’s anything particularly weird about their position that choosing not to have kids is a valid ethical decision despite subtle (and not so subtle) cultural pressure that having kids is a rite of passage that must be attained.
It is a valid decision. It’s just that a lot of them argue that it is the only moral decision, a position that is no more correct than “everyone must reproduce”.
I haven’t really paid attention to them since the early aughts, and with climbing global warming hysteria many of the people that have found the group since then may be more radical than they used to be. They were pretty chill about their position back in the day, knew it wasn’t for everybody and just hoped that putting forward thought out and entertaining counter-arguments for the social pressures of “WHY DON’T I HAVE GRANDBABIES YET!?” would help people make more nuanced decisions in their own lives.
I hope they were more nuanced than this:
“And the fact that VHEMT exists and so many people agree shows that we do have compassion and care about other species. We have no right to bring children into a world where they will suffer.”
If you truly care about other species and you think it is immoral to bring human children into existence, then why don’t you prevent other species from bringing their offspring into the world where they would just suffer?
Something’s not right there. That looks like the answer to one FAQ and then the next hypothetical question rather than a coherent thought.
I don’t think the extinction of the human race is a “counter-argument” or making a nuanced decision, because Mom hopes for a grandkid or two.
It certainly shuts down the discussion for a little while.
I always read the extinction part of it as a bit tongue in cheek although they claim it isn’t. The “counter-argument” is the pages and pages of FAQs and their thoughtful responses to them on the movement website, not just “HEY EXTINCTION! ?”
Q: Do Volunteers expect to be successful?
VHEMT Volunteers are realistic. We know we’ll never see the day there are no human beings on the planet. Ours is a long-range goal.
[…]
The Movement may be considered a success each time one more of us volunteers to breed no more. We are being the change we want to see in the world.
So…Nikki.
The Movement may be considered a success each time one more of us volunteers to breed no more. We are being the change we want to see in the world.
Why don’t they just hurry it along and run a hose from the muffler in the window?
Honestly Nikki’s position is fairly consistent with VEHMT. I’m certainly not advocating their position, but they’re staking out a moral position, rejecting the violent application of it and attempting to use philosophical persuasion instead. I can and do ultimately disagree with their position (though I’m an accidental adherent by virtue of not siring any children), but I thoroughly enjoy the fact that they’re trying to get their ideas out there with an FAQ and not state coercion.
Brett, there’s an item in their FAQ for that.
Meh. Trying to convince that my, or my children’s existance is immoral… I’ll just find them repulsive and ignore them. I sure hope nobody with that mindset ever gets their hands on the reins of power.
I dunno. If the meat is murder (or animals are friends not food) types and I can have a beer and call each other friends I can manage not to be offended by this as well.
I sure hope nobody with that mindset ever gets their hands on the reins of power.
I hear you, we’re only 15 years out from non-procreative “against the natural order” sex being illegal in some jurisdictions. I’m perfectly happy to have less government meddling in the bedroom.
Schopenhauer looms large.
Personally, I think most of them are hedonists posing as altruists.
OT: Fuck NATO. What purpose does it serve anymore? Let them defend themselves, the little bitches.
But how can the Europeans maintain their welfare states without the umbrella of defense the US provides on its own dime? Bailing their asses out from the Nazis wasn’t enough man.
^this^
And the little twats are always signaling their superiority over US citizens. Time to pay the bill, bitches.
“Time to pay the bill, bitches”
No fuckin’ lie. I’m with Swiss; negotiate bilateral agreements with individual Eastern European countries (the ones that don’t hate the US) and let the cucked out Western countries fend for themselves. Fuck you Merkel. Take your Fourth Reich and shove it up your cobweb-laden twat.
We also saved them from the Bolsheviks, but now the assholes want to be the Bolsheviks, only without weapons.
What purpose does it serve anymore?
A staging area for foreign adventures in the middle east?
A good place to put a trauma surgery unit?
Move all that crap from Germany to Romania and Poland. Do Bilateral agreements for it, end NATO.
Oh, and send STEVE SMITH to negotiate the withdrawal from NATO.
STEVE SMITH NOT KNOW HOW TO WITHDRAW. ALWAYS FINISH DEAL, AND BY DEAL MEAN…
STEVE SMITH NOT INTO WITHDRAWING.
Russia would be none too pleased with that arrangement, and if we want them to deal with Syria we need Putin to be not hating on us.
If we really must have a big presence in that longitude, I’d pick an African nation that would like a nice economic boost and see if they wouldn’t mind getting a huge US base and all the attendant business.
Like Djibouti?
Chinese beat everyone to it.
I’m not making this up. There’s an Air Base in Djibouti.
http://www.militarybases.us/navy/camp-lemonnier/
We’ve had people in Djibouti for a long time. I remember TAOC from my old squadron in Okinawa, MACS-4, going there in 2004.
Right – we have been running SOF out of there for a long time. But the Chinese came by and waved bundles of money and got a big navy base there…kind of overshadows ours, and they use it to harass our folks.
I don’t care if Russia is pleased or not. It is a cheaper and closer alternative than Germany…. if you really want a place to stick a Class IV hospital and a Ramstein-like airbase…And why should anyone care whether Russia does anything in Syria?
Yes.
Further: I have no interest in caring more about Syria than Syrians do. Every great country was founded on sacrifice. No matter how many Syrians have die in the past decades conflicts there, I can assure you that the presidential palace could have been taken by an order of magnitude fewer men armed merely with pitchforks. Fuck me very much if I sit and hide while the prospects of my grandchildren are destroyed; always, always better to die with your boots on.
To the barricades or GTFO.
I’m with Swiss. Who gives a fuck what Russia thinks? We’re already not getting along with them in the Mideast – hell, when they made the mistake of denying that a bunch of Russian “mercenaries” were theirs (even though everybody knew they were), we wiped them out. And you know what Russia did? Not a fucking thing. Russia is pretty much the last word in paper tigers.
Declining population, crap economy other than resource production, massively corrupt, and already badly overextended in their expeditionary ventures.
“Oh, and send STEVE SMITH to negotiate the withdrawal from NATO.”
STEVE SMITH NOT GO. STEVE SMITH SAW MERKEL AND MAY ON TV, GO HIDE IN WOODS.
I guess there are fuggos even Steve Smith won’t poke?
COMPLICATED RAPESQUATCH. LOVES TO RAPE. BUT SOME RAPES REQUIRE PAPER BAGS. AND I’M ALL OUT OF PAPER BAGS.
STEVE GOT NO PROBLEM POKING…
JUST DON’T WANT NO ONE TO KNOW.
“What purpose does it serve anymore?”
It allows the US to pay for, and Eastern European countries to man, an army to defend Rich Western European interests, duh.
*that second point was rhetorical; but i’m just thinking of how countries like Poland or Czechs were sometimes quicker to actually volunteer troops, and would commit them longer, in any joint NATO/US operation.
Didn’t someone like Estonia stand out as ‘the first to support the US’ when we blustered about intervening in Syria?
lol maybe it was this
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/estonia-russia-nato-us-troops-volunteer-civilian-estonian-defense-league/
can’t remember, but it does seem like, rhetorically, at least, they’re the only ones who take the whole NATO thing seriously, because they’re the first ones legitimately at risk of being F’d with by the Rooskies at some point.
Yeah, Eastern Europe has had the pleasure of the Russia boot on their neck…they are none too keen on having it there again. And with the Germans now completely weak and basically disarmed, there is only one threat to worry about.
While I was still in, the Poles, Latvians, Lithuanians and Estonians were quite wary of the Russians, and had instituted joint stuff together, just in case NATO sat and watched Russia do more Georgia or Ukraine type stuff.
There is the idea called Intermarium which the Poles are resurrecting: https://sputniknews.com/columnists/201708191056609393-poland-intermarium-plans-can-succeed/
There’s a WIki article on the historical antecedents.
If I were in Poland, given 1939 and 1946, I don’t think I’d be relying on some great power for my defense.
When I attended the War College I was in the European Regional Studies group. The class consisted of all the Euro officers and some American officers. One day during a discussion of NATO the Polish officer stood up and said his nation’s goal was, “To be the best NATO ally. We want America when it thinks of NATO to think of Poland first. Poland suffered last century from multiple invasions from the east and west. Even today we don’t trust the people to our east (looking at the Ukraine officer) and to our west (looks at the German officer.”
Poland has repeatedly offered the US first class facilities and support and very much would fight against Russia. I am not sure Hans, Jacques, Mario, of Wilfred would.
(Typed at a Berlin bar with a first class bier during the half of the WC semi-final.)
8 New Diseases That Are Going To Wipe Us Out
Antibiotic Resistant E-Coli – OK
Asian Longhorn Tick Disease – OK
Ancient Viruses from Arctic Permafrost – Maybe a little bit paranoid
V.R. Gaming Addiction – Wait, what?
A New Mosquito-Borne Virus
Diseases Tied to Nanoparticle-Induced Immune System Toxicity
Technology-Induced Dysphoria
New, Uncontained Types of Influenza
Wouldn’t the SJW watermelon-types at Medium be greeting these with jubilation?
I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m going to die hooked up to a VR sex machine.
That’s the way to go.
The scene from Brainstorm where he loops the hottie riding him over and over inspired me at the tender age of 13.
https://youtu.be/cP0A7hONyGg?t=49m49s
Slightly NSFW
Die? Why not upload yourself into the VR?
You’re right.
What I need is a combination of Brainstorm and Lawnmower Man
I have my objective, now to make it happen.
+1 Anson Guthrie
Toasters!
Damn, I grew up in simple times. Back then we were just going to hell, because:
Jesus is coming back
Dungeons and Dragons games
Backward Satanic lyrics
Masters of the Universe Cartoon
Listening to Judas Priest or Black Sabbath
Remember kids, always wear sunscreen
A sunburn that bad could be potentially life-threatening.
Relax, it’s just a farmer tan. You never been to flyover, bro?
Possible farmer tan (maybe NSFW): http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-07-11/gay-farmers-strip-for-a-good-cause/9981258
Did he shave a thin mustache right after getting burned?
That’s a reaction to a psoralen.
I want a new version of The Caine Mutiny, but this time Captain Queef rattles two ben-wa balls.
Greenwald still feels awful about getting Lt Maryk off.
And the missing strawberries scene…
The strawberries! That’s, that’s where I had them. They all laughed at me, but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt, using geometric logic, that a duplicate key to the wardroom did exist, and I would have produced that key if they hadn’t taken the Caine out of action.
Good movie with a great role by Boggie. It just needed 10 more minutes to show how the USS Caine and its officers end up. The book is a great tale of leadership and I highly recommend it and “The Cruel Sea” for leadership studies. (TCS movie is fantastic as well.)
Indeed it is a great flick. It made slightly more sense, however, when I discovered that the Queeg of the novel was younger than many of the officers, which was one of the reasons they resented him being such a hardass. He was a Regular Navy officer while they were working professionals who made better money and were better educated than him.
I don’t want to know what will take the place of strawberries.
Dildos.
I’m almost ashamed to say that upon the 1st reading, I didn’t pay attention to ‘DVDA’. However, during a second glance to further take in the more salient points, I saw it and slowly formed the words in my head. The actual mechanics involved led me to do some research.
Yes, it’s an actual thing.
Wait, at the same time? Like 4 at once? I always assumed it was an either/or situation. But I’ll take your word for it.
I mean, are they all double amputees? I can’t quite figure out the logistics of it all.
I’ve seen it, but it doesn’t look easy. A pleasure swing and a couple of ottomans were used. Not a lot of actual thrusting is possible, it seems. More like a yoga pose that you hold for a few minutes with maybe two of the guys sort of squirming.
Link?
It was a while ago. I’m sure a quick search on PornHub will pull up an example.
Pro-tip: do not search “nugget”.
You’re welcome.
As a way of demonstrating that I’d performed due diligence, I was tempted to provide a link. However, I also had to consider the site’s Family Friendly™ rating.
Bless you, Tres.
Delaware Valley Dance Academy?
That’s near my work!
I chuckle every time I see one of their DVDA stickers on a vehicle.
I didn’t even know anyone lives in Deleware. I know it’s somewhere over there on the other side of the bay, but thought it was uninhabited except for sand crabs.
But what about Joe Bid….. oh, nevermind
“except for sand crabs”
A result of the DVDA no doubt.
This one is PA.
I thought it was Double Voweled Dipthong Authority
There’s a large a percentage of the homeless population between [age] 16 and 24 which is made up of LGBTQ kids who have been thrown out of their home.”
Literally dozens.
If they were even trying to be honest they would at least say “between [age] 16 and 18.
Big Bush park looks like a map of Tasmania
Might be NSFW.
Now let us all Thank Donald Trump. Without him we would have Hillary and no Hat and Hair.
Yes but think of all the SF stories about her Unholy Gunt we’re missing out on.
*projectile vomits*
“Are you educated?”
Asshole
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-44788850
Oh no! Anything but that!! That’s almost as bad as “paid administrative leave”!
That said, what exactly did the guy do that qualifies as arrestable. I mean, clearly, he’s a total asshole. But, that isn’t exactly illegal.
I haven’t seen the video, and of course, you never know what happened before the video started… But it could fall under harassment or menacing.
“Public intoxication” is an arrestable crime, unfortunately.
I’m going to level with ya, I’m okay with him doing nothing. If he did, we wouldn’t know how much of an asshole this guy was and we’d all be saying it was an overreach when they pepper sprayed the guy.
Christ, what an asshole!
I bet he’s a real peach at family reunions.
“Are you a US citizen?”
Who wants to be the one to tell him?
I can see why she is a “former” professor at Evergreen State.
https://quillette.com/2018/07/09/on-toxic-femininity/
So she’s racist too!
That’s definitely some badthink.
I believe that she’s Bret Weinstein’s wife.
Ugh, way to imply marriage means men own women, you sexist.
they are *partners* (wipes glasses)
Wow. A non-crazy article by a person formerly associated with TESC. She is correct on the relative power between the sexes. As my high school biology teacher taught us, “Remember, the male pursues, but the female chooses.”
https://twitter.com/heathereheying
Would, but I’m an old man.
Her face kinda reminds me of Ana Gasteyer.
Wandered into the comments… that was a mistake.
It’s nice to see The Onion can still pull of the occasional funny.
That’s old-school Onion humor, right there.
OhioMan® unsuccessfully attempts to re-capture glory days of Evel Knievel and the Snake River.
I was just joking about the drunks trying to swim across the Cuyahoga river to go between the East and West bank of the flats back in the day. It never went well for them… it’s only about 300 feet across there (with speed boats, barges, pollution, and a strong current).
And flames from time to time.
Only a couple of times, and not in my lifetime. Now there’s people who kayak in there… I have no idea why… but they do.
I used to do work for LTV (now Mittal), and we’d watch the freighter and barge traffic. I know what you mean.
back in the day plants discharged all manner of flammables and barges were routinely washed and flushed into rivers; in my childhood, some part of the Mississippi was aflame every day
when things happen in Ohio, it matters……to my folk: not so much
Notice from credit card about suspicious transactions from… the Netherlands. And right after the thrilling conclusion of The STEVE SMITH Sanction too…
Are they going to force a re-issue?
Yeah. Fuckers were trying $1 Netflix (???) charges to see if it was good.
After having my Visa re-issued twice in 6 months (Home Depot and Target breaches), I switched all my bills to AMEX. Even after a re-issue, your card number is still good with your established autopay accounts. That sort of thing helps prevent your phone from accidentally getting shut off (which has happened to me).
Next time we get a beer I’ll tell you about how many established autopay accounts my brother has attached to my parents’ AMEX cards that they’ve asked AMEX to stop allowing, but they won’t (my parents don’t want to say anything to them that might cause him legal issues).
AMEX is refusing to switch off autopay accounts at the request of the cardholder? How is that possible/allowed?
I don’t know the details. I think the problem stems from my parents being overly cautious about even implying there’s fraud there. They apparently asked them not to courtesy roll forward prior acknowledged accounts, but my brother can still doordash whatever he wants using their old number.
I told them to just explain the situation (he used to be allowed to, now he isn’t but still does and we want to cut that off) instead of saying that they lost their card or something, but they’re kind of chicken-shit about that sort of thing. Now they just have every transaction ping their phones which is onerous fro them.
This was one I use for shopping only, so no autopay issues. Did have several valid charges. Luckily those were already pending (and validated) before the idiots struck.
STEVE SMITH CONDUCT SUSPICIOUS TRANSACTIONS OF SEMEN.
You really didn’t think the site and our overlords were funding that trip, did you?
Well, I never!
…
*makes “stop” gesture to STEVE SMITH*
You a grown ass woman with a mouth though.