“Omarosa, my sweet dark berry…” Donald whispered.
“She recorded you, Donald,” the hat said in a low Iago hiss.
“Maybe she just wanted to hear my voice again,” Donald said.
“Recorded, Donald, like with a machine,” the hat said. “She tried to Nixon you, bro.”
“But I didn’t fire her, The General fired her, I didn’t have anything to do with it. I don’t know why she’s so mad at me. She was my chocolate Wonder Girl…”
“She looks like a man, Donald, a big black man in lipstick and a wig.”
“You just don’t like strong women,” Donald pouted.
“I just like my women to not have a penis,” the hat said.
The hair snorted from the floor.
“She didn’t have a penis,” Donald insisted. “She didn’t. She was the sweetest pink inside.”
“They’re all pink inside, Donald, and they will all betray you in the end… Ivana, Marla, Stormy, Karen… all whores, Donald.”
“And she said I said the bad word,” Donald whined. He turned to the side in his office chair and pulled his legs in. He was pantless and his scrotum swayed queasily above the hair as it struggled to inch away.
“Mark says he destroyed the tapes, Donald,” the hat said.
“There are no tapes,” Donald said. “There never were any tapes. I would never say the bad word. It’s bad word.”
“Of course not, Donald,” the hat said.
“The bad word isn’t even in my vocabulary,” Donald whispered. “Donald would never call someone a n[beep]r.”
“You don’t have to beep it out, Donald,” the hat said. “It’s just us here. And we’ve looked everywhere for recording devices.”
“I didn’t beep it out,” Donald said, shaking, his balls quivering.
“You said ‘beep’, Donald,” the hat said. “I heard you.”
“I didn’t say anything,” Donald said, getting angry. He stood up suddenly, his shirttails mercifully swinging down to hide his penis. “If I want to say ‘n[beep]r,’ I say ‘n[beep]r.’”
“What the fuck⸮” the hair asked.
“N[beep]R!” Donald yelled. “N[beep]R! N[beep]R! N[beep]R! N[beep]R! N[beep]R! What is happening‽”
The hair spread himself flat on the floor like a threatened starfish.
“Donald, it’s just a word,” the hat said. “Stop self-censoring.”
“I’m not!” Donald screeched. He began running in circles around his desk, yelling “N[beep]R! N[beep]R! N[beep]R!” while his penis flapped against his gunt and grundle forlornly.
“N[beep]R!” the hat said. “Oh, no! It’s me too! What the hell is going on‽” he screamed in horror.
“N[beep]r,” Donald said helplessly and slumped to the floor. “N[beep]r,” he said quietly and began to weep.
The hair bunched into a loose ball and let the air conditioner floor vents roll him gently out of the room.
Thoughts like this make me think we’re all really not that different from each other.
SugarFree is not pink inside. His interior is of the deepest black that’s unimaginable.
That’s just necrosis. Don’t worry about it.
Well, now one of us is going to have to go home and change…
SugarFree is actually a chicken.
Actually, it’s Vantablack.
I was in the dark on that stuff.
Here’s a link that will shine some light on Vantablack.
That’s the kind of racist thinking that gets you mobbed by campus progressives.
*rubs belly button*
MMMMMM
The hat just achieved shitlord status.
I am with the hat here. They are not chicks with dicks, but dudes with tits.
Like Chuck Schumer?
Not even if I stapled his mouth shut first.
Yuck.
And this is not a slight on gay people. if I was not a lesbian trapped in a man’s body but a dude that liked dudes, I would not touch Chuck Schumer with your dick. Same way that even though I am a lesbian I have no interest in Hillary Clinton, Karla Marx, Maxine Waters, or Fauxahantes, to name a few.
It does seem odd that the “OMG YOU REFUSE TO KISS A TRANSPERSON! YOU’RE A BIGOT!” crowd does not acknowledge for the taste of individuals. “I don’t find redheads sexually arousing” doesn’t get you the same response as “I don’t find trannies sexually arousing.” Nobody would say “OMG YOU HATE WOMEN!” if you say, “I don’t wanna fuck Hillary Clinton.”
Er, maybe they would.
Great point about the lack of accounting for taste Mojeaux. Granny pr0n is not my thing, but Hillary just is someone I wouldn’t, even when she was young, because of the attitude. Not worth the effort type of thing.
My new conspiracy theory: You know all those people who have mysteriously died after being associated with the Clintons? Suppose they really are suicides. Suppose they were driven to madness by exposure to Hillary’s naked form. It explains so much!
Because you can totes point a gun at the back of your head and pull the trigger in a tidy and efficacious manner.
Also, Webb Hubbell is still alive.
Depends on the granny. I know a knockout 41 year old whose 22 year old daughter just had a baby.
Maybe SF can be like Better Call Saul and write a prequel about the Bill Clinton years, “The Hair and the Cumstain”
When I was in college, I worked in the print shop part time. My boss was a 40ish lady whose teenaged daughter had just had a baby.
I was sitting in the commons with some friends one day, when my boss went through the check out line at the food counter.
One of my friends said something like “check out the ass on that one”.
I responded that she was my boss and I could introduce them. By the way, she’s a grandmother.
Crickets. . . . . .
Your friends have no sense of adventure.
You must love the people we tell you to love.
They’re nasty control freaks. With the emphasis on nasty.
Including the people they want you to love….
Was there ever any question whether the Hat is a hateful bigot?
I’m laugh/vomiting so hard I am crying.
Thank you, good sir.
I had to look up “grundle”.
Ha-ha. #metoo.
Urban Dictionary has a wonderful definition:
The prime piece of real estate located conveniently between Scrotumburg and Anusville.
Is that were SF lives?
medically known as the perineum.
I thought it was medically known as the taint.
How does a scrotum swayed queasily? Serious question.
Super-saggy old man balls.
“I’m not!” Donald screeched. He began running in circles around his desk, yelling “N[beep]R! N[beep]R! N[beep]R!” while his penis flapped against his gunt and grundle forlornly.
The sheer horror in this sentence undercuts the sanity of the world we think we live in. It’s Lovecraftian.
I was laughing and retching simultaneously when I read that.
I had to close my office door lest someone pass by and think I was finally utterly insane.
You are utterly insane.
Being here with us is proof enough.
I’ll accept that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhvqED3Ud48
“Gary shell is dark brown peanut budda”
“This song is so black it stole my headphones”
This entry had several….SEVERAL sentences that drove slender needles into my pristine testicles. It induced something. I’m not sure what. It wasn’t pleasant…and yet they filled me with literary joy. Of some sort. There was, of course, the premeditated vomiting to soothe my pre-ordained reaction.
BTW SF, —whatever happened to your hip after The Incident, if I may ask? I forget. It’s weird that we have both a regional and physiological connection. (ALL OF YOU SHUT YOUR DIRTY, WHORE-MOUTHS RIGHT THERE, YA HEAR?!?) Everything is fine with mine but I frequently get anxiety issues when thinking about how long my little titanium boys will last.
(…these euphemisms are getting more metallurgical….)
*stops typing STEVE SMITH joke*
You have a titanium head?
Two femoral heads, yes!
I think the price on those bad boys was like $11k per, so certainly harvest that shit off of me when Guzzoline is scarce.
Everybody I talk to who’s had a joint replaced loves it. Mr. Mojeaux loves his new knee.
Mine was replaced in January. Recovery is a slow process, but I have finally reached the conclusion that Mr. Mojeaux is telling the truth.
I’ve have a titanium rod in my left humerus for 30 years.
I’ve heard all the jokes.
Dammit. I knew I shoulda saved that for church. *grumble*
I only ended up with a screw being left in the ball of my femur (they couldn’t get it out.) They said I would eventually need a hip replacement, but I’m 25 years on without any sort of massive degeneration of the joint. It is still a “when and not if” but I don’t really have too much trouble with it.
So did Trump actually do Omarossa or was this all a fantasy?
How DARE you accuse me of making things up. How. Dare. You.
Swiss! Glare at this, creature! Glare him hard, brah!
I want backstory, man. You can’t just leave Jungle fever hanging like over ripe fruit on the vine.
If you will fuck Stormy Daniels, I figure you will take a run at anything.
Let’s leave Tillerson out of this. Don’t think I could handle that.
“Oh Rexy! You’re so sexy!”
I have an unnatural fondness for that movie.
I also wonder about a director’s cut, as there is a picture on the DVD box and a clip from the trailer that are not in the actual movie.
Wasn’t she his employee? He doesn’t seem like the type of guy to give up an easy sexual harassment settlement.
I want backstory, man.
Well, you say that…
*fiercely narrows gaze*
You make me feel safe.
Bernie Sanders is now Alt-Right
Oof, I mess up the Link
This is the sanest thing I’ve seen from a Democrat for years. I think he’d dead on that his party has let the fringe take over and has lost the blue collar vote. But let’s not get too excited, because we all know his solution is More Free Shit.
But you know just saying that means unpersoning from the lefties.
You mean go back to their roots?
Representing slaveholders and oligarchs?
Yeah, like Bernie isn’t “fringe” himself.
He is right of Marx/Lenin/Mao/Pol Pot?
Or is he a fan of the brownshirters, so they now consider him a fascist instead of a communist? These leftist ideologies are so confusing….
OT: I neglected to post this in the coffee discussion the other day, but it I saw it again today in the comments about a study done on violence and alcohol mixed with redbull.
“It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.”
This has been my week.
*wipes away single tear*
On a related note, the next coffee article is submitted. As soon as the overlords give their blessing, I’ll see you there.
A coffee Mentant?!?!?!?!
https://imgur.com/gallery/DXC1A
DOOMco: If you didn’t see it, in the AM links I answered your MINI question the best that I could.
I did catch it! Thanks for the response. Ill look for records of wheel sensor and oil related things.
If they haven’t been fixed I’ll know what’s on my list first. I know the new ones are faster, being a 2.0t but I prefer the whine of a supercharger.
05-06 is where I’d like to be, late model usually has fewer bugs.
OT
SEC sends subpoena to Tesla
https://finance.yahoo.com/news/tesla-drops-report-sec-subpoena-152046858.html
Some years back a crotchety old hermit that lives in catahoula swamp got an IRS notice that he was being audited. Everyone in the parish was snickering about it. He showed up at their office with a roach dropping encrusted cardboard box that had rat turds and a bunch of mostly unreadable crinkled receipts and stubs in it and plopped it on the auditor’s desk.
“What the hell am I supposed to do with that?!”
“Whutever ya’ want to.”
Then he marched out, started his rusty old truck and putted off in a cloud of smoke and stink.
He never heard from them again.
I suspect that when they start digging into Musk’s books they are going to look back fondly at that old man.
“She recorded you, Donald,” the hat said in a low Iago hiss.
and if you guys think that is rough. Nah, I’m just kidding, click this. No worries, totes SFW.
Click Me!
vile
Oh come on man, surely you jest.
At least she’s been spayed. The lineage ends there.
It’s good news.
Can confirm.
*repeats to self* ‘this is the last mean thing I shall do today, I will be nice, this is the last mean thing I shall do today…’
That person is not well.
What tipped you off?
The wild look that says “Please, please, please make a pass at me so I can feel someone might want to do me”?
Yes.
Aagh! ::runs screaming ::
his scrotum swayed queasily above the hair as it struggled to inch away.
So, does he have a prehensile scrotum, or is it sentient as well?
We’ve not yet seen the adventures of Merkin.
“yet” /barfs
I guess you’ll just have to tune in next time to find out!
Why not both?
OT: Gods damned motherfucking end users. If your problem has been going on for a month, it’s quite obviously not a fucking priority 1 incident. If you’re going to wait that long to report it, show the gods damned courtesy to be honest about how big of an issue it is.
Sorry, third priority 1 in three weeks that’s been something that started over a month ago.
/takes slow breaths
I understand your suffering.
Here’s the scenario I really love.
End user: When I do this, then this happens, is it supposed to work like that?
Me: When did it start happening?
Them: Umm, I’m not sure, maybe 6 years ago?
Me: It’s supposed to do that, bye.
^^^CORRECT RESPONSE^^^
Because telling them they should not be on a computer can get you in trouble.
I thought the correct response was “Well, stop doing that.”
You let the end users set a priority? *scoffs*
Where I was every incident was automatically lowest priority until some help desk tech decided otherwise. And they never did in my time.
I don’t. The person who takes the call does based on the caller’s report, and the management has sent out messages that we are not to re-prioritize incidents because it screws up their reporting. The worst is that even if this was promptly reported, it wouldn’t be a P1 incident. The report was that for ~50% of their outbound calls (overstating the priority already makes me doubt this, and assume it’s closer to 15%) there is a delay of 5-10 seconds before the outbound call begins.
Yes, it’s an issue. It’s not something that is dramatically impacting your business (especially if you wait for over a month to report it).
Sounds like most of our customers: Purchase, install, go live, test.
https://msdnshared.blob.core.windows.net/media/MSDNBlogsFS/prod.evol.blogs.msdn.com/CommunityServer.Blogs.Components.WeblogFiles/00/00/01/32/02/metablogapi/8054.image_thumb_35C6E986.png
Second try with a link that sucks less:
https://img.devrant.com/devrant/rant/r_648327_iGEVk.jpg
Just saw a bit on TV news. Four black cops standing back to back so that one of them is facing each direction while a crowd of twenty-something antifa white boys dressed in black scream accusations at them for being white supremacists. I wasnt paying close attention so I didn’t see where it was or why.
This is what the left has come to, just like they have everywhere else. I am convinced that leftism is a symptom of mental illness.
Where is it? Some of them are going to get killed, I guarantee it. They are total idiots.
“You become what you pretend to be.” – I forget who
I fear that many of them have been LARPing it for long enough to become no-shit revolutionary types. Yes, some of them are going to get killed. I think the scene was Charlotteville this past weekend but I could be wrong. Apparently they were also throwing rocks, bottles and eggs at the cops. The kids screaming at the black cops were completely enraged beyond reason. Foaming at the mouth, the whole bit. As far as I can tell the cops didn’t do anything to provoke them.
This is way off topic, but your comment made me think of something. I don’t know that he said it precisely that way, but that’s how poor working class kid with an abusive alcoholic father, Archibald Leach, grew up into the suave, debonair Cary Grant – he just acted as if he was that guy until it became who he actually was. He even suggested that a tombstone in the graveyard on the set of Arsenic and Old Lace bear the name Archie Leach, because that person was dead to Grant.
Interesting. I did not know that. I did notice that a lot of the hollywood types had horrible childhood experiences which would explain the abundance of personality disorders and their ability to pretend so well.
It could be a symptom of simple stupidity. Compulsory education has convinced a lot of stupid people that they are highly intelligent because god forbid they have low self-esteem even though they can’t get a skilled job in the private sector.
These guys might as well have had “Mom’s basement” printed on their foreheads. Middle class white guys from 20-30 years old. Never been oppressed or gone hungry a day in their lives but their outrage is turned up to eleven over black white-supremists. It just isnt sane. I dont think they are in touch with reality at all.
Oh, and a clip of NBC claiming ‘thousands of white supremacists rallying’. It was 20 individuals.
Don’t like being called fake news and enemy of the people? Stop fucking lying your ass off, see if that works.
For most of human existence, “fake news” has been a redundancy.
We’re probably both right to a degree. If they’re “mom’s basement” types, they’re too stupid to at least be fat and drunk, too.
I have no doubt we are both right.
I know what they’re thinking. They’re mostly deadbeats who believe all the TDS going on and so think they are going to make themselves heroes of some kind. What’s actually going to happen though, is that this will spread to other cities outside progtown and some of them will get death by cop instead of the fame they’re after.
Elizabeth Warren’s Accountable Capitalism Act would force companies to look beyond shareholders
Meaning what exactly?
“I don’t care if Elon Musk founded this company, he’s a dick, and he looks like a retard when he puts a blazer on over a T-Shirt. I’m voting for somebody else.”
How dare you try to make money off your shares of the company!
Gotta love the left’s overt classism. She’s telling small and medium businesses they don’t have any lobbying power whatsoever.
My God that woman is dangerous.
And evil. Don’t forget evil.
The only entity that should decide money is government.
Understand that, and you understand progressive douchebags.
Zero chance of passing. She is just pandering to her base. Her financial support comes from the very companies she is railing about. She is up to her eyeballs in Wall Street.
C’mon, Repubs. Put this thing on the floor for a voice vote.
The Repubs are such hopeless pussies. Dems introduce all kinds of crazy shit to pander to their base, confident it will never even get a committee vote. Fuck that. Have “Outreach to the Minority Party” sessions where you bring up batshit bill after batshit bill that the Dems have introduced and force votes on them.
We’ve seen that before. The Dems will then refuse to vote on it.
For spin and messaging, though, its a can’t-lose thing for Repubs.
I saw a portion of her interview on Power Lunch. Afterword, Michelle Caruso-Cabrera and Melissa Lee said “The term Accountable Capitalism is like something straight out of Atlas Shrugged – capitalism is all about accoutablity.”
Top Rated Comment:
“Companies also are setting themselves up to fail. Retained earnings were once the foundation for long-term investments. But from 1990 to 2015, nonfinancial U.S. companies invested trillions less than projected, funneling earnings to shareholders instead. This underinvestment handcuffs U.S. enterprise and bestows an advantage on foreign competitors.”
This paragraph illustrates the absolute ignorance of this woman. I can’t understand how she got to be a professor at Harvard. Victor Hanson Davis got it right in his latest National Review piece: “The Deflation of the Academic Brand.”
https://www.nationalreview.com/2018/08/academic-brand-deflated-elite-degrees-worth-less/
Warren should know that even if profits are paid out to stockholders, most of those dividends get reinvested in other companies. Warren seems clueless about intermediation. It’s beyond me how she chaired the commission that looked into the 2008 banking crisis.
God, please save us from Democrats, especially far left.
We could just cut to the chase: American R&D investment is slightly up over the last two decades.
I think this is not bad: https://www.aaas.org/news/data-update-us-and-eu-rd-budgets-remain-flat-asian-investment-decelerates
As for partisan angling, there’s enough sin to go around. The Republicans could inherit the mantle of business and economics knowhow by merely shutting up while the Dems prattle on, but they just can’t mute it. Tariffs? Really? How 1887 of you. A pox on both their houses.
corporations with more than $1 billion in annual revenue
Our legal team could use the extra work! I dunno how long it is going to take us to split into 150 $990M subsidiaries, but the parent company will have a 1% financial stake and and a 50%+1 controlling interest in all of them.
yup: more laws beget more specialists and more dodges
again with all this obvious stuff than any college sophomore economics student could explain or predict…they never stop
If these guys spent half as much time creating jobs as they did trying to regulate us neighbors, the sky would be the limit. It’s a shame that better mousetraps and all that are so old-school. Why work and create when you can regulate!?
But that would soon be labelled as “structuring” and made illegal. Eventually, if you and brother Billy Bob incorporate your bait business (I heard you guys were Master Baiters) then Fauxcahontas is coming for you.
50%+1 controlling interest gets you consolidated reporting.
BREAKING NEWS
Expect wails and cloth rending from the dnc operatives with bylines from the usual assholes.
Overdue.
I guess I don’t understand why the hell you even get to keep security clearance when you don’t work there anymore. Wouldn’t that be like my former employer giving me access to their files for the rest of my life?
The excuse I heard is that it gives them an advantage when working for contractors that work for the government.
Which makes some sense – for a few months – if you left in good standing. Someone like Strzok, I can’t understand why being fired doesn’t also include flushing the security clearance.
I think what prompted this move is that Brennan is using his clearance to feed info to NBC where he now works which is probably criminal. He is using it to try and get ammo to use against Trump. Or is it Clapper? I get those two turds mixed up.
I’d really like to know what cleared position Brennan was holding, because a clearance is for a position not a person. You can maintain your eligibility for a clearance once you’ve left your position for several years. All that means is they don’t have to do the full background security investigation.
Security clearance = favorable background security investigation & eligibility to hold a cleared position. It’s not access in itself.
The official excuse is that it lets them consult with the current holders of their office on national security issues.
Oh, no. We will miss out on Brennan’s expertise. The horror. A dark day for America. yadda yadda
Everyone in the Obama admin deserves their clearances revoked if they didn’t resign out of protest to how Hillary fucking us all over by ignoring the requirements she had for her clearance, was handled by the cronies there.
For that to happen they’d need to have a conscience, or a personal code of conduct, or morals, etc., etc…
I dont think any of those were requirements for working in the Obama admin. Just the opposite, in fact.
I like it. Lets go reverse Oprah:
“You lose your security clearance, and you lose your security clearance….”
*jiggles oversize cleavage trying to point to the entire crowd*
“You all lose your security clearance!!!”
*nods*
WOKE BABY!
“However, it found no need to change that country’s existing law since it doesn’t specify explicitly that people’s gender must be male or female.”
Because no one ever thought it would be necessary to make a law mandating something so self-evident to the sane.
It should be called Sächlich.
Why did STEVE SMITH cross the road?
http://www.foxnews.com/tech/2018/08/15/bigfoot-spotted-crossing-rural-new-york-highway.html?intcmp=ob_article_sidebar_video&intcmp=obnetwork
How many game cameras are there in the woods these days? Funny, none ever seem to catch a glimpse of STEVE.
Steve knows how to avid cameras so he can get his raping on baby!
TO RAPE THE HIKER ON THE OTHER SIDE
STEVE SMITH RAPE ON BOTH SIDE ROAD, IN ROAD.
STEVE SMITH MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE YOU ROAD HARD, PUT AWAY WET.
STEVE SMITH MAKE PUN!!!! HAHAHAHA!
This is my punishment for having punned badly at someone else today.
Your punishment is just being here.
Get thee to a punnery!
/dodges Swiss
Because fuck you, that’s why.
Because he was raping the chicken?
So re-elect Tester and burn DC to the ground?
http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2018/08/15/pearl-jam-shares-poster-depicting-trumps-corpse-and-burning-white-house.html
If that were true, it might just get me to vote for him.
This is shocking – Pearl Jam still exists???
Who?
Too young to know? Or too old?
I’ll go with too old.
Correct. Or care.
But you’re not older than me. So Don’t Care is the only option. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. 😉
One of those 90s Seattle bands that made a profession out of sucking.
The one good thing they did was their long standing feud with Ticketmaster.
And so very woke.
And of course the idiot Republican challenger overlays his hand:
Rosendale decried the poster in a statement to Fox News saying, “Once again, Jon Tester has shown he will stand with the far-left over Montanans. This poster from Pearl Jam is disgusting and reprehensible. It depicts a dead President Trump and a burning White House. It’s time for Jon Tester to denounce this act of violence and blatant display of extremism.”
Sorry Skippy, a poster isn’t an act of violence.