One of these women has been a gracious, classy champion and ambassador of the sport. The other has 23 grand slam singles titles.

Yay!  Its not only the end of the week, its the end of the first school week of the year.  Looks like Reason made it through without dropping any f-bombs or telling someone they shit their pants when they farted. And that, my friends, is a good thing. You know what else is a good thing? The US Open starts this coming week! I’m not making any picks because tennis is a crazy, unpredictable sport right now. But if I had my wish, I’d have Djoker win the mens and Venus win the ladies.  I’ve always liked Venus. She’s been classy her entire career while her sister became an absolute asshole. I’d love to see her win one last major.

Well we can delve into that extreme unlikelihood next week. Until then, we’ve got baseball! Philly beat Washington, Boston blanked Cleveland, Detroit dumped Chicago (AL), the Rockies beat the Padres, Los Gigantes topped New York (NL), the Braves shut out the Marlins, the Rays stung the Royals, Chicago (NL) beat Cincinnati, and the MINNESOOOOOOODA TWIIIIIIIIINS!!!!! helped the idle Astros by dropping the Athletics.

The EPL games of note this weekend (to the libs that have cared to announce their allegiance and that I can remember) are Arsenal-West Ham, Man Ure-Tottenham, Liverpool-Brighton, Bournemouth-Everton and Man  Shitty-Wolves. If I missed your team, let me know and I’ll be sure to include them. Until then, YNWA.

Never. Gets. Old.

Let’s see who was born on this date, shall we?  Abolitionist William Wilberforce shares it with mobster Carlo Gambino, writer Howard Zinn, terrorist and grifter Yasser Arafat, midget actor and everyone’s favorite droid Kenny Baker, guitarist David Freiberg, keyboardist Ken Hensley, entertainer-extraordinaire Vince McMahon, NFL’s Mike Shanahan, singer Danny Joe Brown, rapidly-expanding fat man Mike Huckabee, actor Stephen Fry, American treasure Steve Guttenberg, Ironman Cal Ripken Jr., bassist Mark Bedford, deaf actress Marlee Matlin, basketball-playing shit-talker Reggie Miller, ginger doofus Rupert Grint and the hilarious Dave Chappelle.

Its also the day Mt Vesuvius erupted and killed 15,000 people, the Visigoths sacked Rome and ushered in the fall of the western Roman Empire, the pope declared the Magna Carta invalid (suck it, your holiness!), Charlotte Bronte finished “Jane Eyre”, Thomas Edison patented the motion picture camera, Alaska officially became a territory, Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly across the continent, “Rock n Roll High School” hit theaters, Gorbachev left the Communist Party, Windows 95 hit the shelves, Jerry Rice (one of the best receivers of all time) retired from football, and Steve Jobs resigned as Apple CEO.

How do I do it? Ambien and delusion!

I don’t know about you, but I’m gonna grab some popcorn and watch this shitshow unravel like Roy Hobbs’s first major league hit.  How long before the shareholders are demanding his resignation or begging the government for a huge bailout?  I give it through December at the latest.

I avoid linking Breitbart, but since none of the major media outlets give a shit about this important story, I guess I’ll have to.  Hey, free association is great and all, but at what point do we start dropping the hammer on pricks like Morris Dees and his slush-fund SPLC whose influence certainly outweighs their integrity? And I mean legally through defamation lawsuits, not through government action.

Move along. There’s nothing to see here!” – South African government replies to Trump’s tweets asking our government to look into land expropriation and murders of white farmers in South Africa.  I just hope we keep our troops out of the circus. If they want to follow the Zimbabwe model and starve to death, I just hope the innocent get out of there before it happens.

The King’s Man

Berkeley councilman thinks he’s honey badger. But at least he had the decency to expose the corruption in police contracts being voted on by elected officials (whose campaigns the police unions fund, by the way). I’m sure he will face no backlash at all though, unless he promotes free speech in that shithole town.

More money-wasting jackassery by Chicago’s government exposed. I wonder how many of those funeral homes are owned by politically-connected people? My guess is: all of them.

Curfews are meant to keep kids safe. Its dangerous to be out after them. See what I mean?

So much for conscience and religious tolerance. If you do not bow to the rules of the state, you will not be able to do good works. What a shame.

I feel like I’m doing this every time I drop Reason off at kindergarten.

Go have a good day and a great weekend, friends!