Senate Sex Prosecutor: What attendants hath Sarah Goode?

Brettly: A yellow bird and shee would have given me one.

Senate Sex Prosecutor: What meate did she give it?

Brettly: It did suck her between her fingers.

Senate Sex Prosecutor: Did not you hurt Mr Currins child?

Brettly: Goode good and goode Osburn told that they did hurt Mr Currens child and would have had me hurt him two, but I did not.

Senate Sex Prosecutor: What hath Sarah Osburn?

Brettly: Yellow dog, she had a thing with a head like a woman with 2 legges, and wings. Abigail Williams that lives with her Uncle Parris said that she did see the same creature, and it turned into the shape of Goode Osburn.

Senate Sex Prosecutor: What else have you seen with Osburn?

Brettly: Another thing, hairy it goes upright like a man it hath only 2 legges.

Senate Sex Prosecutor: Did you not see Sarah Good upon Elizabeth Hubbard, last Saturday?

Brettly: I did see her set a wolfe upon her to afflict her, the persons with this maid did say that she did complain of a wolfe. She further saith that shee saw a cat with good at another time.

Senate Sex Prosecutor: What cloathes doth the man go in?

Brettly: He goes in black clothes a tall man with white hair I thinke.

Senate: How doth the woman go?

Brettly: In a white hood and a black hood with a top knot.

Senate Sex Prosecutor: Doe you see who it is that torments these children now?

Brettly: Yes it is Goode Good, shee hurts them in her own shape

Senate Sex Prosecutor: And who is it that hurts them now?

Brettly: I am blind now. I cannot see.


I know it was a long time ago, but if you can remember the original allegation against Kavanaugh, I honestly can’t help but think it was based on this:

I mean, it’s got the sloppy drunk guy, the kiss, the boob grope, something that could be called “trying to tear her clothes off,” and then he leaves. She even looks like the girl in the scene!

33 years later, Mare Winningham keeps Rob Lowe off SCOTUS for making fun of her proto-Spanx.