Hey, kids!
I might just possibly be procrastinating on handling more important things, but when Brett L sent up a flare to have someone rescue the afternoon links, I volunteered sharpish.
However, it was kind of last minute, so you get no fancy formatting, no theme, and undoubtedly links you’ve already seen. Since you only want the new post for a blank page on which to enshrine your bon mots, I figure this will do.
- I can see my dog doing this. But it would be Lou Malnati’s.
- Nobody needs this many species.
- More of a press release, but having lost a Great Pyrenees companion animal to this disease, I am glad to see this development, if a decade too late. And…fuck cancer.
- Really? Shouldn’t the people who purportedly have the same goal be working together on this proposition? Wait, you mean several of these groups just want press and money? Dude, you’re cynical. (Which doesn’t make you wrong.)
- Do you or don’t you? I don’t. But you do you.
Don’t let them work you like a dog this afternoon! Later gators. (I guess I had a theme, after all.)
I don’t have a dog – it’d be inhumane to saddle one with me.
“I don’t have a dog – it’d be inhumane to saddle one”
Well, maybe if it was really big it would be OK but I’m guessing your feet would drag
I don’t dress my dogs for Halloween but my wife desperately wants to. The problem is the dogs will shrewd any material they can get their mouths on.
Shred. Typing fast for the first and I got sloppy and still lost.
/Nelson point & laugh
So your dogs are not super-cunning?
One acts dumb but is really cunning. The other does tricks, but is a moron.
Your dogs are not named “Gork” and “Mork” by any chance?
No sir. Bullit & Sterling.
Named for your favorite rye and vodka?
Correct. Actually We didn’t name either one. They’re both rescues and we didn’t want to change their names.
I have a friend who has two mutts named…Chipper and Shredder.
Anything on the floor is fair game. Put it one foot off the ground on a coffee table and they won’t touch it.
At least the rules are clear.
Our rules:
(1) No peeing, crapping or puking in the house.
(2) Not allowed on the furniture.
(3) Not allowed in the same room as me when I am eating.
(4) Not allowed to jump on people, with an exception for rule (5).
(5) No biting people unless they deserve it.
I think that’s about it.
I’d add that they have to stay at least 3 feet away while I’m walking. Otherwise, that’s about how I like it too.
How well is it working? Well, I cleaned a pile of crap and a puddle of piss off the floor this morning. I haven’t tripped over the dog yet today, but his ribs may still be sore from the last time.
My faithful dog, Shithead…
One of my cats is a Tuxedo pattern. She is always dressed to impress.
Our cats do not dress up for Halloween. Or anything else.
They really just need salt.
Been staying away the last couple of days due to … just wanting to think about something else.
I couldn’t dress up the cats for Halloween. They’d kill me in the attempt.
Also, trying to buy new floors for 1350 square feet (and stairs) is expensive as hell, and I only won $4 in Mega Millions, which will not cover the cost.
“In an ideal Libertarian society people who dress-up animals for Halloween would be forcibly removed from their community”
“For a New Liberty”
– Murray Rothbard
Add in those people who use the word “furbaby”, and I can get on board.
“Men and women who refer to themselves as ‘dog moms’ or ‘dog dads’ are beyond insufferable and the threat that they pose to a free society should not be underestimated. While liberalism demands that we allow them to behave as they would unmolested, it is imperative on all lovers of liberty to chastise these individuals from society at large. Their behavior is NOT OK.”
“The Constitution of Liberty”
– FA Hayek
“Are these some of those fake quotes you see often on the internet?”
-Lysander Spooner
“No. I think all of these quotes are legit.”
– Karl Hess
They are nothing compared to the doggie grandparents.
I get loving your own pets enough to consider them your kids, I think it is stupid and look down on you a little for it, but at least I can understand it. What I cannot understand even a little is loving your kids pets enough to consider them your own grandchildren
I HATE those people
I’m going to insist you include grandpup. I get grief for calling my dogs the beastesses. I don’t see the issue. They are beasts, they are plural, they are female, beastesses is correct damn it.
I care about my dogs more than I care about most people. And still, they are dogs. That’s it.
I have children and grand-children. They are people. I expect a fireman to rush into a burning house to save them.
No one is going into a burning building to save one of my dogs.
I hope everything goes ok with your flooring project.
I put down about 1800 sq ft of Pergo when I built my house. The materials were not terrible. Installation is where the money generally adds up.
Good luck on your project.
You’re not going to to the floor yourself, are you?
I strongly recommend against.
If he has beer I’ll go help him. How hard can it be?
*shoots nail through thumb*
You’re supposed to drink the beer AFTER.
The words are English but they make no sense.
I’m stupid, but I’m smart enough to know I’m too stupid to do that.
Home Depot keeps telling me ‘Hey, you can do it yourself, it ain’t that bad!’
Good luck! We’re all counting on you!
Floor installer just left for what was supposed to be a couple hour job. Put in engineered wood in one room. Looks nice, wife liked it so put it in the hallway. Unlike the first room, the concrete underneath isn’t level. Installer had to grind it down in places to get it level. And the bathroom door won’t shut because the transition piece is too high. Gonna have to have a new door installed at the right height.
Can’t they just trim the bottom of the door?
^^This.
Plane the bottom edge.
Thanks guys. I’m hearing about it from my wife while I’m in the middle of work. I’ll see why taking off the bottom wouldn’t work.
So… depending on how much needs to come off- Japanese pull saw or portable planer? I see a new tool in my future and it’s not even Christmas.
Eventually I’m going to replace the door anyways. Much prefer solid doors inside, even if they slam a bit harder, than the cheap ass early 70s hollow cores.
I use a straight edge and my 7 1/4″ circular saw with a fine tooth blade 60 teeth or so. If I’m really concerned with chip-out I’ll make a score with a utility knife about 1/16″ away from the cut first, but usually I don’t need to and few quick passes with some sand paper knocks down the sharp edge. If it’s a hollow core door and you have to take off more than 3/4″ of an inch you may have to add a filler back in.
It is a hollow core. Dammit! I wanted a new tool. At best I’m getting a new blade. Have to see what I have on my circular saw now.
If you’re just talking about clearing a transition piece, you definitely need a need a fine ass portable planer and would never consider just using a rasp to take off a quarter inch and then clean it up with a little sand paper.
^^ I like the way this guy thinks!
I’ve put in subfloors, hardwood floors, refinished floors, tiled floors, etc. but I was much younger then.
Intermammary sulcus FTW!
http://archive.is/ETrNh
And a bonus for the ass Glibs.
http://archive.is/Bop4A
Oh, Q, someone in Kansas City sent me home with a message for you.
LOL.
Love all you guys too!
Or, it could be the license plate of someone who really likes to stand in line.
burnt ends: not awful
I love me some burnt ends.
A proper burnt end sammich is like crack cocaine.
Some people think “queue” has four silent letters, but they are just waiting their turn.
Why is the one in the hot tub allowed to wear a bathing suit?
18 and 33 on the butt pics. Cause some melanin or booty.
Booty pics with no AA women? The fuck?
A different take on the Trans fad. I have no way of knowing how true this might be, but the first time I’m hearing this angle.
https://quillette.com/2018/10/23/the-unspoken-homophobia-propelling-the-transgender-movement-in-children/
First line: “When I was a Ph.D. student in sexology,”
What?
Was this written by Zapp Brannigan?
It does sound like a phony baloney program.
No it wasn’t; Zap’s sexy learning disability, sexlexia, prevented him from going to grad school. That’s how he ended up in the DOOP officer corps.
Can you say that a little more… sexfully?
More than enough for me to disregard them.
“Everything I needed to learn about my Ph.D. I got from the nature channel and looking through my dad’s Playboy stash”
– Steve Dirtbag, unemployed Sexologist
That makes the second paragraph all the more interesting.
“On the day in question, our research lab had just finished our weekly meeting”
Research lab?
Navel-gazing bullshit session
For researchers who don’t do such things as mix chemicals or test animals onsite, a “lab” is often what other people might call an “office”.
it has become more socially acceptable to be a transgender man than a gay woman.
Really?
Yeah I find that hard to believe. I work with several gay male colleagues and nobody cares. I think a tranny would raise some eyebrows, just for the novelty.
A former coworker was MtoF. Frankly not different than working with gay or straight or whatever. Damn good at her job and is missed.
You definitely score higher on the victimhood scale and can virtue signal harder…
On the grievance totem pole, yes.
I have a feeling that the author is really just fighting the trannies for that top spot on the totem (or bottom spot? not sure how that works). So much for intersectionality.
Who the fuck does not like lesbians? Seriously. My sister is a lesbian. She has a ton of lesbian friends. She and I are close, ergo, I know tons of lesbians. Some of them are still my friends despite the fact that they broke up years ago. Again, who the fuck does not like lesbians?
Some gays, supposedly.
Never been to Berkeley, eh?
AKA — When I was giving away tens of thousands of dollars in student loan money that I’d have no earthly way to ever earn back.
Interesting, and a lot of food for thought. For the moment at least, I think I can agree with the assertion that most kids who think they’re “trans” are probably “just” gay. Some of the other assertions need more pondering.
The entire pre-pubescent trans thing just has the stink of sexual grooming. Sorry, but six or seven year olds aren’t naturally thinking so sexually that the issue of what gender they should be would actually come up.
The socon in me says that this is what happens when you sexualize everything.
Is it really socon if you think its not right but don’t want the government to do anything about it?
It is but it means you are a sane socon and not a part o Y’all Queada
It’s an interesting thought that in some communities some people have the perception early on that being gay is only acceptable if you have the parts to be after-market hetero. Based on people I’ve known and my own observations I would think if being gay isn’t acceptable being transgender is way out of the question. Now, there’s always an uncle or a cousin or someone people know who’s a “confirmed bachelor”, who everyone knows is gay, but the tacit agreement is nobody minds as long as nobody comes out and says it and that person doesn’t violate the illusion that they might not be gay. They might even live with a close friend of the same sex, but the official line is that they’re roommates or something, and that’s that. But someone getting a sex-change operation? No way. If Glen becomes Glenda his/her ass better move at least a county away.
But then maybe the pseudo-woke are coming from a perspective where, subconsciously, they see homosexuality as unnatural, so if they have a boy child who seems to identify with women and behaves in a feminine way they immediately think that this means they’re gay, and, being gay, they must simply have been born with the wrong equipment. I don’t know. Shit is a confusing rabbit-hole of problems I didn’t see when I was a kid, thank god.
It gets attention. Kids take notice of that very quickly.
Munchausen syndrome by proxy
Yeah, and I’m surprised (but not really) that there are parents and medical professionals who are so willing to believe that a child who wants a sex-change is making a sound, well-considered, responsible decision, but a child who wants to eat nothing but chicken nuggets and M&Ms or who wants to be a robot isn’t.
Nobody needs this many species.-
I’ve always called them gharials.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gharial
Neither the cats nor the dog dress up for Halloween. The cats because they would harm us. The dog because he’s the red headed stepchild living under the stairs. He’s in constant feud with my wife.
I kinda thought that this would fit with the theme better than the porcine.
There’s chickens as well…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSkN9m7kh9A
just wanting to think about something else.
Why do you inflict these microaggressions on us?
You… you… otherer!
Yeah, I lost one of my pits to bone cancer, too. I’ve lost two to intestinal cancer of some kind, one to a car, and one to just being really old. I lost my Newfie to an incredibly rare fluke of some kind that they think he caught from a raccoon.
And yes, we have a couple of costumes for the Dean Beasts. One is a sweater with skull designs that is too small for the Big Dumb One, and makes him look like a gay bodybuilder. The other is a pumpkin costume for the Little Fat One, that makes her go completely catatonic she hates it so much. Always good for a laugh.
Oh, there’s also a Packer cheerleader outfit. Also puts the Little Fat One in a catatonic state.
Apparently the Bears defense as well.
Seen recently.
I think no one saw this late night so I can try again with this new Packers cue:
The Mexican word of the day is:
Cheesehead
Used in a sentence:
I asked my wife if the Packers won, and Cheesehead no.
I as
Cheesehead, he said…
Just glancing @ Drudge a couple times during the day, I think Oprah is behind the ‘bombs’ given how everyone seems to be getting one now.
“and you get a commemorative pipe bomb, and you get one, and you, and you! Everybody gets commemorative pipe bombs!!!”
*curses when tax bill arrives*
I’m not ruling out Debbie Wasserman Schultz since none of the bombs worked, or were even correctly constructed.
I saw the x-ray images flash up on the screen, and it looked like there was literally only one wire going into the pipe, twisting around a bunch, and not doing anything else. It was only a glance, so I’m not sure if what I saw was accurate.
Could obviously be a two lead wire, but didn’t look like it at the time.
Will they admit the bombs were fake on late Friday afternoon or Sunday afternoon after football games ave started?
Ok, now that’s funny, Tres. ALOL
One acts dumb but is really cunning.
Please tell me his name is Baldrick.
His name is Sterling and his is my, what do you call this little pictures we have?
Avatards.
Avatar.
Thanks
Mooninites
Sweet looking boy.
Now I cant get the “one is a cunning bunch of runts” joke out of my head.
Thanks.
There’s a kids’ candy out there called Runts too, and I think of that joke every time I see them.
I don’t dress up my dog for Halloween. I tried once, but he ripped up the costume in seconds. He lets my daughter dress him up, though. So now he gets to be a ballerina every year.
We can’t fit anything dog sized on our 170lb newfie. Though he will wear a hat for a while.
I’m not sure I’d like to have a pet heavier than me.
He’s a big oaf. My daughter walks him with no issues. The only problem is that he loves water, and thinks he needs to save every damn thing in the water from drowning. So he will drag you out for your own good.
That kind of is what they were bread for
But you know there is no such thing a a biological predeliction to given behaviors or anything
To be fair, my one pit mix will run into the water, bark at it, and try to bite it, and my AmStaff will freak out, run up to her, grab her collar, and try to pull her out. And he’s the one who doesn’t like touching damp grass or being outside of room temperature.
I love Newfies! They are so darn sweet.
My cat is black. He is dressed for Halloween year round.
RACIST!
“If you see my dog @ the McDonald’s on shields, quit feeding her fat ass”
This made me laugh. I saw a better one a while back. The dog watched people at the counter, saw them giving green leaves in exchange for food and started going out picking large leaves and giving them to the cashier in exchange for food.
Change the definition of ‘species’ and bingo, you have two new endangered ones. How much grant money is she getting?
Animal rights activist. *sigh* What can you say about that. chickens are super stoopid animals that taste delicious. We all know what they are after here and it aint a good life for cluckers.
Putting a hat on your dog is not cruelty? Ok.
when my dogs see me breaking out the pooch jackets they get excited and practically jump into them. They know we are going somewhere interesting.
I like how she has a dog that roams at night, and she doesn’t want people thinking its a stray, but she can’t be arsed to put a collar and tag on it.
This dog? Unfortunately as the dog’s name is Negro, he’s been unpersoned (uncanined?) for racist wrongthink.
I will be damned, I found it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUtbAcPdat4
Those disgusting racists named their dog Negro!!!
My furbaby has had diarrhea ever since Sunday night. Poor thing. Taking her to the vet tomorrow if we don’t see any improvement tonight.
This doggy-daddy will not be happy if she’s not better by Halloween. She’ll look so cute in the French Maid costume I got her!
Is that real, or an endless string of euphemisms ?
Just fishing for the reply I just got from Just Say’n. The diarrhea part is unfortunately true, however.
*balls fist*
Better than *fists balls*
Masturbation description.
Are you that Kero the Wolf guy?
(note: Do not google his name. For the love of Cthulhu, do not google his name. I hold no responsibility for what happens to your mind if you google his name.)
*googles despite clear warning*
*immediately regrets it*
How about a preview for the rest of us.
That would take the fun out it.
It’s the Halloween season after all.
Im not enacting your labor !
Bestiality, sadism, necrophilia, pedophilia, coprophilia, and furries.
While everyone would be wise to heed JB’s advice, since he put the idea out there click here to satisfy your morbid curiosity of you must. That video will provide everything you need to know, without seeing the most graphic evidence of it while providing snarky commentary.
If you’re a fan of animals, follow JB’s original advice and forget that he told you about this stain on humanity.
So has this guy been arrested?
Last I knew the local police opened an investigation, but I’m not sure if anything came off it
Feed her some cheese.
Or it could be pancreatitis.
We’ll start with the cheese.
I’m not even dressing myself up for Halloween.
Last year, my wife got me a Jack Daniels t-shirt so we could go as Jack and Coke. Even that was too much work.
We usually throw a Halloween party, but with the house under renovation we can’t. 🙁
You’re too cool for school
God damn right.
I live in the middle of nowhere. Very few people live out there. No one comes to my house. I dont even buy candy. We did a jack-o-lantern one year. It laid out front until it rotted away.
That is a shame. Halloween used to be my favorite holiday.
We may get a candy bar each for the girls who live next door, but there aren’t enough kids in the neighborhood to make it worth buying a bag of candy. There may be all of one kid who stops by.
Same here. Plus the locked gates and GSDs make it even less inviting.
The local downtown closes the streets and all the vendors stand in front of their businesses with candy. We’re going to take the kids there so they can somewhat experience trick or treating.
I wanted to take them to the wealthy neighborhood in what passes for suburbia around here, but was shot down.
I live at the end of a dead-end road with a 1000′ uphill driveway, and 1000 acres of state forest bordering the other side of the property. Nobody ever comes here.
And if they do come, you won’t leave any proof they were ever there, right?
Not quite as isolated, but no sidewalks on the road out in front. Small acreage suburban-rural lots neighborhood. Never had trick or treaters. Stopped buying candy for Halloween because we’d end up eating it. I still like putting a pumpkin or too outside, even if they’re not carved.
Still is here, Live spooky music, Lights, skeletons and 100$ worth of candy!
I’m dressing in my normal clothes and going as a spy.
Nobody will be able to spot me as a spy, which proves that my disguise worked!
Wait, your wife does coke? That explains how she stays so skinny.
Your wife went as Pablo Escobar?
I’m shocked, SHOCKED, to find out that the bombs were bogus
Not surprising, but also not indicative of which idiot on which idiot side of which idiot political system we have did it.
It seems to me if you’re serious about killing people you would test your bomb design before mailing 10 out. But that’s me, the worry wart, doing trial runs.
Someone plans to make up for it in volume ?
Quantity has a quality all its own.
But that nice man in the FBI jacket said this was the way to do it.
Someone’s getting it.
Probably true.
I’m not one for conspiracies, but I would be surprised if the Boston Marathon bombing wasn’t an FBI “investigation” that got away from them.
It’s not as if the FBI pushing would-be terrorists under their surveillance toward committing terrorist acts is unheard of.
“Pushing” with the intention of intercepting, that is. And when that interception fails? We didn’t know nuthin!
Yeah, blowing away that guy they were interviewing was totally not suspicious.
My internet was out all afternoon, so my apologies if this has been shared before, Hat Tip LT. Fish.
“Do you or don’t you? I don’t. But you do you.”
I don’t but back in the 60’s my older brother cut a tail-hole in a pair of tighty-whiteys and put them on our lab. Then they played fetch with him. That dog’s ass pointed to the sky when bending down to pick up the ball still makes me smile more than a half century later.
It seems to me if you’re serious about killing people you would test your bomb design before mailing 10 out. But that’s me, the worry wart, doing trial runs.
Experiments and test runs are patriarchal oppression, you honkey. You just fill the pipe bomb with ill wishes and leave the rest to Gaia.
https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/38c81a58-3a86-4cef-bc6c-e574800ec7f1
+1 Witches Curse on Kavenaugh
The Babylon Bee is as good as The Onion was in its heyday. Don’t @ me.
Study: 100% of events that contradict your narrative are false flag conspiracies
Sigh.
https://babylonbee.com/news/study-100-of-events-that-contradict-your-narrative-are-false-flag-conspiracies
“Whether it’s pipe bombs being mailed to people of an opposing political party or a caravan of immigrants looking for a better life, every single thing that happens that doesn’t jive with your political beliefs is a massive conspiracy,” said the study’s head of research, Dr. Alex J. Ownes.
Ahhhh I see what they did there.
Lol. Thats good
https://babylonbee.com/news/caravan-of-liberal-americans-makes-way-toward-socialist-paradise-of-venezuela
Thought this one was clever too
https://babylonbee.com/news/opinion-we-tried-republican-then-we-tried-democrat-then-we-tried-republican-then-we-tried-democrat-then-we-tried-republican-is-it-time-we-try-democrat
I always get the impression that they’re trying too hard, and the humor is too obvious and motivated by a certain angle/message. The Onion at its best was anarchic and free-rolling, no fucks given.
The original printed version of The Onion had a feature called Drunk of the Week and it was some pics of a shitfaced kid rolling down the bar district. It was awesome.
Scientists discover first new species of crocodile in 85 years
Crocs are a very old species.
My favorite part of the discovery is the simultaneous discovery of a new extinction crisis.
I saw that too. Look we found this species just as it was dying out!
My guess is now there is a whole bunch of land that cant be used to help Africans get out of poverty because it has to protect this very special species of crocodile.
Men in Crocs.
Men without hats.
Men at work.
I know. This post doesn’t make sense.
Men of insight, men of gran-ite.
Closest I got to dressing my dog was the bandana the groomer put on my Aussie. Took her about 5 minutes to get it off and shred it.
Let me get this straight. Trump supporters are terrorizing and bombing Democrats and the press, the Republicans just approved a serial sexual assaulter to the Supreme Court, and right wing media darlings are making comments praising blackface? All this after Trump locked babies in cages, away from their mothers, and is actively letting climate change wreak havoc on coastal citizens’ lives?
How can anyone be evil enough to vote for this?
You are catching on.
WATCH: Trump-Hating Former Porn Star Engages In Shootout With Cops (not horseface…)
On May 18, 2018, Jonathan Oddi, a former adult film actor, broke into the Trump National Doral Miami resort and began pacing, barefoot, in the lobby. Witnesses to the event said Oddi was “making disparaging remarks about” President Donald Trump, according to NBC.
Oddi, 42 can be seen in the footage dragging a large American flag with him and holding a gun. He unfurls the flag on the resort’s concierge desk and angrily shoves a cannister off the end of the desk.
The footage then shows him leaning against that desk and putting on socks before spreading out the flag and attempting to reach the security camera. Oddi unfurls the flag some more and smashes the resort’s front desk computers before police arrive outside.
At first, Oddi puts the gun down and puts his arms in the air, but then picks the gun up and begins shooting at the officers, using the desk as cover. After some back-and-forth shooting, Oddi takes off into the hotel, still firing. He briefly slips on the hotel’s floors as officers pursue. He then runs up a flight of stairs and knocks over some furniture before an officer is able to arrest him.
I must say, I question the guys tactics.
That’s a rough 42
That’s 80 in meth years. Remember, he’s awake twice as long as the rest of us.
Whoa. How come this is the first I’m hearing of this?
You would have heard of it a lot sooner if this was about Barry during his terms.
He is just a patriotic, law abiding lefty fed up with Trump’s murder/rape gangs.
Remember that this happened in Florida. Makes more sense when you think of it that way.
Putting on socks was a mistake.
Yep. I saw the FBI spokesguy today and I couldn’t quit thinking of this and chuckling:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsJA1C19AyE
We had a bomb scare at our Wal-mart once. Days later I got into a conversation with a detective about it. I scoffed. “Most of what people call bombs are just firecrackers and the people putting them together have no idea what they are doing.”
He got all excited. “Oh really? So how do you make one? Tell me.”
“I am not telling you how to make a bomb. If you want to know how pay your money and take the classes.”
He got more excited. “What classes?!”
“Take your pick. Missouri school of mines. Colorado school of mines. Texas school of mines…”
That deflated him.
Just enlist with a demolitions MOS – the classes are free.
Better yet, they pay you to take the class.
Or choose infantry and get the demo without classes except for a five minute shake and bake. “And that all you need to know…”
/pol/ is making “suspicious devices” and posting the photos.
LOL
LOL
I snorted out loud at the fleshlight one.
It’s important to remember that somebody already owned it.
That is genuinely hilarious.
*applause*
Love it
Welp. The butt plug with the wristwatch made me laugh out loud. Time to get a beer.
I think SF must’ve made the one with MAGA hat and dildo.
Is this how the doom cock was created?
golf clap
The drawn on stamps…
Gold.
Unlike Superman
Unlike Superman
@TinpotClarkKent
·
11h
Replying to @vortmax79
Can confirm the last one is a viable device. If left in a warm room for a few days the hotdogs will go off.
From: Not Antifa
To: Beautiful Madame President