“Just for laughs, here’s one with my left hand!”

I guess that Mahomes dude is the real deal after that performance in the fourth quarter last night.  In a quirk of scheduling, the two losers from yesterday’s divisional one-game playoffs will meet this evening in Chicago to play the NL wild card game.  The winner heads to Milwaukee to start that series later in the week. My money is on a Cubs-Brewers rematch. The AL game takes place tomorrow in New York, with the Yankees taking on the Athletics. And the second group of UCL group games starts today, with ManUre-Valencia headlining today’s slate. Look for a managerial change if the red debbils lose. And damn, are Penn State fans ever salty after they lost to Ohio State. But they’re not nearly as salty as this fuckhole is. I mean…come on dude. Do you want to ever be taken credibly again? Objective “Sports journalists”, amirite?

Nat Turner: badass.

Are you a birthday boy or girl today? If so, you share it with the following: badass rebel Nat Turner, German leader (who failed at keeping a giant asshole out of power) Paul von Hindenburg, pacifist and sex freak Mahatma Gandhi, brilliant, unrivaled, incredible (I’d never run out of superlatives to describe the) comedian Groucho Marx, also hilarious Bud Abbott, movie critic Rex Reed, founder of NFL Films Steve Sabol, musician Don McLean, picture-taker Annie Liebovitz, rocker Michael Rutherford, actor and singer Sting, wrestler Yokozuna, skinny woman Kelly Ripa, and singer (who got naked in Playboy) Tiffany.

Its also the day on which the following occurred: Saladin captured Jerusalem, Jacques Cartier discovered Montreal, Charles Darwin returned to England, Brigham Young was arrested for bigamy, Potter’s “The Tale Of Peter Rabbit” was published, the San Diego Zoo opened, “Peanuts” made its debut, “Alfred Hitchcock Presents” made its tv debut, strangely enough, so did “Twilight Zone”, “The Bridge On The River Kwai” made its big screen debut, Thurgood Marshall was sworn in as the first black Supreme Court justice, “Scrubs” debuted, and Vin Scully finally shut up after calling his last game which the Dodgers hilariously lost to the Giants.

Sorry if that last bit ruffles some feathers. I never cared for his endless droning or that voice.  Anyway, on to…the links!

NBS News effectively gives an open platform to the biggest nut job this side of Alex Jones. And they excuse it by saying, in about 10 seconds, that the claims she’d made over the last hour can’t be verified or corroborated by anybody at all. Stay classy, “journalists”.

If I ever consider taking a trip to New Zealand, would you guys find someone to slap the shit out of me? Christ, what a bunch of assholes.

Please tell me there’s no ice in that!

The left (and media)’s latest freakout? An alleged bar skirmish 33 years ago where ice may have been thrown. Because nothing says disqualifying like somebody possibly throwing ice over what nobody knows may have been said or done to him or a friend of his in the preceding moments. Stupid, puritanical SoCons, you know?  Oh wait…

Mother of kid who sucks as an athlete goes out of her way to prove she’s an asshole. I’m sure that’s gonna help her son make friends.

Cool painting. Now sell it.

After reading the headline, I expected the complaint to be about not wanting to sell the piece at all. After reading it, I discovered that there’s at least one smart person involved in politics in Chicago. And it ain’t the mayor.

This sounds like a good use of taxpayer money. I just hope she invests a little bit of that in getting rid of that wart or whatever it is in the middle of her forehead.  Jeez, looks like a man scorned can be just as furious as a woman.

Well, if you were planning on coming to Houston to bang a robot, you may want to hold off on booking that trip. Looks like the city council will have the last word on the plan.  Which means it won’t happen and pervs will continue to not have an outlet for their desires aside from other people.

I don’t want to hear bitching about my music today. I’m playing three songs because I think these guys were really solid.  Song #1.  Second song. The finale.

That’s it. Go to work. And have a great day!