Well, Election Day is here.  Everybody make their predictions in the comments.  I’ll give mine now: the Republicans hang on by a thread to a majority in the House but we won’t know that for a few days as several elections end up being too close to call tonight. They also gain 3-4 seats in the Senate and solidify their majority there. Not sure how the statehouse races go, but it looks like Dems will gain a governorship or two.

I believe this is what they call a “metaphor”

Sports news: the Cowboys have no offense and their QB is not going to make it in the NFL. Your hockey winners were: Montreal, New Jersey, Washington, Boston and Philadelphia (with their idiotic mascot). UCL returns today , and matchday 4 promises to bring a lot more clarity to who will advance to the knockout rounds from several groups.  Have fun watching if you’re lucky enough to get the chance.

Today is the birthday of: Ottoman Sultan Sueiman the Magnificent, composer John Philip Sousa, basketball inventor and Canadian-AMERICAN James Naismith, hurler Walter Johnson, actress (before she became an activist) Sally Field, singer Glenn Frey, actor Ethan Hawke, football player and Army Ranger Pat Tillman, the lovely Emma Stone, and tennis star Ana Ivanovic.

That’s my Ted: always driving drunk into a river and killing interns without consequence

Its also the day on which the following is celebrated (or reviled) for happening: Canada celebrated their first Thanksgiving Day, the commies bombed the Winter Palace in Petrograd to start the October Revolution, the first electric razor was patented, the first carrier landing was made with a. jet airplane, “Meet The Press” made its debut, Ted Kennedy was first elected Senator (and he celebrated with a drink…or 12), the Ayatollah took control of the Iranian government, Fernando Valenzuela became the first rookie to win the Cy Young award, Boris Yeltsin outlawed the communist party in Russia, Holyfield defeated Bowe for the heavyweight title and Art Modell announced that the Cleveland Browns were officially moving to Baltimore.

OK, now on to…the links!

So stunning and brave

Hey dumbass, when your ilk say this every two years without fail, it kinda loses its luster. Also, if you really gave a shit, you’d be working all the time on issues, not just for a few weeks every couple of years in an attempt to keep your face in the spotlight. Also also: shut up and dance.

This is a very refreshing sight. I hope the trend continues.

If this surprises you at all, you’ve been living under a rock. In fact, I daresay everything before the ellipses should probably be considered a scientific law by now.

If you think for a second that you actually own your own property in San Francisco, then think again. Jesus, I could just imagine them coming to collect that fine in a city that hasn’t all but confiscated everyone’s guns.  This is almost as outrageous a violation of their rights as I can imagine.


Just when you think a city government couldn’t get any more absurd with their priorities, Chicago says “hold my beer”. Not only are they stupid as shit-looking, they’re going to cause accidents, they’re going to become expensive to maintain (and yes, the city will ultimately pay for them), and they take away valuable spaces for…the cars people must drive to come into these areas and spend money.

OK, create a catchy headline I could have made up for this, because I’m drawing a blank. I suppose it could be something to do with “Hamburglar” but I can’t quite come up with it. Either way…what a dumbass.

You know, if he would have moved to do this a month ago, the election would be a lock. I’m still skeptical, but not because of Trump himself. Rather because of those he’s surrounded by (on both sides of the aisle) seeing the value in a perpetual police state.

Sometimes the birthdays are skimpy. Today is one of those days. But I’m gonna do my best. And yes, that will include The Eagles. And also a poorly-produced Miami Vice audition tape. Man, the 80’s was shit awesome.

Anyway, go vote. Or don’t. I don’t give a shit about that as much as I do your ability to bitch about all of the assholes in here.