I pour lots of things every day. I might pour myself a cup of coffee in the morning. A glass of tea with lunch. At dinner I might pour myself a glass of milk. Sometimes I pour laundry soap into the washing machine. Once every couple of months I’ll pour some new oil in the deep fryer.
And occasionally, I’ll pour a George Dickel Barrel Select into a rocks glass (for medicinal purposes only). I can usually do all of these things while spilling very little. I mean I might miss a drop here or there, especially when I’m on my third or fourth Dickel. But, for the most part, I do a good job at getting my fluids where they’re supposed to go.
Do you know what I can’t pour without spilling? No, it’s not the fifth glass of Dickel. It’s gasoline. Do you know why? Because I have a government mandated and approved gas can. I don’t know if you’ve had to get a new gas can in the last ten years or so, but if you have, you know my pain. All of the new spill proof gas cans make me spill gas more easily than anything else I’ve ever poured.
Seriously, how do you screw up a gas can? Can it get more simple. A bottle with a spout and a hole for air. That’s all you need. But somehow, our benevolent overlords screwed them up. Old gas cans are actually a commodity today. An old employee of mine mentioned that her father (a farmer in central Indiana) goes to estate sales to find the elusive gas cans from yesteryear that have disappeared from store shelves. He sells them to other farmers. That’s right. There’s a secondary market for old gas cans because of the government. There’s also an array of YouTube videos showing how to hack the new gas cans. Really, there are countless videos to tell you how to make a government approved spill proof gas can usable.
I guess I’m now one of the lucky ones though. A few weeks ago my neighbors’ garage got damaged in a storm. When they tore it down I saw an old fashioned gas can in the dumpster. I climbed in there and grabbed it. I couldn’t let it go to waste. I’m now using a functional gas can, my apologies to those who don’t have one.