The mercury is at 65 and falling. No telling how many iguanas, alligators, pythons, and manatees will be killed by this unseasonable cold front, but my best guess is zero. I’m sure the local news will breathlessly cover the over on that one. Overnight temperatures could dip below 40 degrees. I’m stocking up on meth and hot chocolate. To make matters worse, I have a dental appointment today where they hygienist will mercilessly berate me for being an occasional flosser. I’ll pretend contrition and go home with a sore mouth.

PETA holds “dog barbecue” with fake dog. I’m the sort of heartless monster who would ask for a slice of the flank and the feign anger that this wasn’t a better way for them to dispose of all the dogs they euthanize than just tossing them in the landfill.

Amanda Knox is back in the news and $20K richer after an Italian court found that Italian police had violated her civil rights. Taking a page from their American brethren, they found “no evidence that she had been physically assaulted”.

The new, sassy Lindsay Graham is just fabulous.

If Beto was a Republican, this would sink his candidacy. Instead, this non-story will be spun into a MASH-note of how edgy, sexy, and creative he is. OMG, he was in a punk cover band! Sploosh!


Let’s see some real punks do their own work. Take it Dee-dee!