NOT Jarflax, but rather Saint Isidore of Seville – the Patron Saint of the Internet

A Jarflax Rant

I have been surfing the web and it seems that there are a lot of stupid opinions and beliefs.  You have your (((Joos))), Christers, Buddha Botherers, Holy Cow Heroes, Mohammedans, and even those damn Mormons (no one could be that nice unless they were up to something).  You have your Pinkos, Reactionaries, Progs, and those evil Glibertarians.  And all of you bastards are stubbornly refusing to recognize obvious reality!  Is it that you are all evil conspirators trying to take my stuff and make me a slave? That you like to see orphans selling themselves for a crust of bread?  Or is it that you are all retarded and can’t see what is as plain as the nose on your collective face?  Why can’t all the other 7.5 billion of you see TRUTH as clearly as me?

Every problem has a neat solution.  Every situation is made difficult by easily identifiable malice, and could be perfectly smooth, just, and simple if the evil obstructionists would stop deliberately disrupting things.  If you want wisdom buy me a fair trade latte or a PBR and sit with me as I sneer it out, one snarky epigram at a time.  Just don’t be one of those assholes who doesn’t understand conversational etiquette!    I talk/you listen, capisce?  Do not ask me to enact your labor!  Google it yourself!  I am emitting wisdom, not being your research assistant!

Also if you voted for the Cheetoman, the Gangster in the Mao suit, some election spoiling third party wasted vote candidate, or were too lazy to vote at all you are an asshole and one of the evil obstructionists, so don’t think your imperialist earholes get to drink my sweet wisdom.

If you believe in Jesus you want to watch womyn bleed out in back alleys while piles of beaten gay corpses fill the gutters.  If you do not believe in God you want pedophiles to sodomize toddlers, at clinics where mandatory abortions are performed by perverts that are married to camels!  If you are Muslim you are either planning a bombing or are reading this as you leave the scene.  If you are a (((Jew))) it is all your fault. If you are some other weird religion, you are lying!

If you like country, western or metal you are a Nazi racist.  If you like pop you are a pervert. If you like classical you are a pretentious closet pedo.  If you like hip hop you are a rapist. If you like something else you are lying!

If you are male you are a rapist and probably a murderer.  If you are female you are an emotion driven castrating whore.  If you are neither you are probably both.

In short everyone who disagrees with me is doing so because they are evil!



People have a very hard time distinguishing disagreement from malice, particularly in areas of belief. Religion and Politics are essentially similar belief based conceptions of reality.  They inspire strong emotions, and inculcate an Us vs. Them mentality, leading to anger… Which is why they were traditionally excluded as conversation topics from polite gatherings.

Some of this is unavoidable, and will always be the case.  People get very emotionally connected to core beliefs and any attack on those beliefs, or even strong disagreement, hits us in the same way a personal attack hits.  But I think some aspects of modern life have made this worse.

The internet and social media expose us to the worst spokespeople for ideas.  In earlier times when you were interested in a subject, or a viewpoint you sought out books or articles explaining it.  You might agree with what you read or disagree.  You might find parts of the idea appealing and others appalling, but it was an impersonal interaction, and under your control.  You read the book or article and any dispute you had with it was internal.  If it was too offensive, or too idiotic you just put the book down unfinished.  If it didn’t interest you, simply never read about it.  Various curating bodies/effects tended to select for the best, most appealing spokes people being the most widely read.

Even then you had people who would try to force you to learn about their pet beliefs.  We called those people cranks or bores, and we never invited them to a second party.  Now every ‘movement’ or belief has militant advocates.  They bring their pet belief into EVERY conversation, and because they are ubiquitous they are usually the first contact you have with an unfamiliar belief.

Vegetarianism is an utterly inoffensive practice.  How can your diet possibly harm or insult me?  But I cringe when I hear that someone is Vegan, because I have had dozens of interactions with people who militantly proselytize the Vegan ‘lifestyle’, not as a diet they have chosen but as “The One Truly Moral Way to Live.”

Across the dietary divide you find the Paleos.  They think veganism is foolish, possibly an evil conspiracy of Big Grain and that we can only achieve health (and cure every ill of body mind and soul) by eating a largely carnivorous, low carb, high fat/protein, ancestral diet. If you disagree (which you can do simply by not immediately and unequivocally accepting every bit of pseudo science they spout as TRVTH), they will harangue you until you leave the forum.

As you turn away from the Paleo, who is beating the Vegan to death with a jar of ghee, Mr. Crossfit hobbles over on his crutches (blown tendon bro, do you even lift?) to tell you what a pussy you are for not exercising to the point of regurgitation.  Fleeing Mr. Crossfit you encounter Ms. Antivax, who explains that the $30 DPT shot is a plot by Big Pharma to make your kids autistic, and announces that if you vaccinate you are in a parenting category with Jeffrey Epstein.

You don’t learn about Christianity from C.S. Lewis or G.K Chesterton; instead you learn about it from Frank Fundy who mocks you for being duped by the lies of the ‘Evolutionists’, and accuses you of molesting children if you meekly say you do not see why gay people shouldn’t be allowed to adopt.

Turning away from Mr. Fundy you run into a flame war between Moishe who regards any disapproval, of any Jew, in any context, as clear evidence of NSDP membership, and Ackbar who screams that allowing Moishe to live is an unforgiveable offense against the religion of peace.  Meanwhile some 4chan’er is pretending to actually be a Nazi purely to rile up some SJW who dropped by the forum to berate all cis-hetero males for their inherent privilege. And an atheist is making very sure that you understand that he doesn’t believe in God, by announcing that only retards need a “Sky Daddy.”

All of this is probably happening in a thread discussing your favorite hobby!  You don’t seek it out, it comes to you everywhere.  Reading about home brewing?  BOOM Atheism! Playing a Video Game?  WHAM Social Justice.  Looking up a recipe? POW Jesus/Allah/Jehovah loves/hates/owns you.  If you try to disengage gently the militants get offended.  If you dispute their premises they go ad hominem and call in sock puppets/allies/tulpae to pursue you across a dozen domains.

Of course people end up feeling that anyone who disagrees with them is their enemy when every dispute becomes a personal attack.  Which of course makes the next set of people react with hostility when you disagree with them. So, this whole mess propagates itself.

At the end of the day most people are not militants.  This is why in day to day life you find that you have friends and acquaintances who don’t actually believe the same things you do, but who are nonetheless decent people you enjoy knowing.  But online the trolls and the true believers come into their own, and God (or not, I don’t really care what you believe) help us all.