This has been a fine week for the Democratic Party cannibalizing itself. The old eat the young, the young eat the rich, Twitter eats Virginia from the top down. More, I say, more! Chaos is more lovely to me than any sunset.

“I was told there would be juiceboxes.”

Oh, Nancy. Your flesh is so stringy and tough. You’re like an erotic dried riverbed.

Pelosi Can’t Even Wait a Day Before Trashing AOC’s Green New Deal

Today, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Sen. Ed Markey unveiled a congressional resolution calling for a Green New Deal, a sweeping, ambitious list of projects and goals that would help steer the world away from climate apocalypse and address inequality at the same time. Knowing this was coming, Nancy Pelosi gave an interview to Politico’s Playbook in which she trashed the idea

blah blah blah

Anyway, it’s super dope for the Speaker of the House to dismiss this as a “suggestion” and a “dream,” as we hurtle towards climate apocalypse, inequality grows, wages stagnate, and life expectancy shrinks. We love it!

There’s that mix of economic ignorance, hysteria and childish sarcasm that makes the Gawker Splinter brand so beloved.

There’s still some good meat on them bones. Keep pickin’! Really get in there.

The Green New Deal’s Huge Flaw

On Thursday, Democratic Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Sen. Ed Markey unveiled just such a fix: the Green New Deal, a proposal that bills itself as a plan for the environment and the economy in equal measure. It is designed to steer America toward a low-carbon economy, fulfill the right to clean air and clean water, restore the American landscape, strengthen urban sustainability and resilience, and put a generation to work. With prominent endorsements from leading Democratic presidential candidates, Ocasio-Cortez has brought more attention to climate change in two months than her Democratic peers did in the past two years.

But the Green New Deal has a big blind spot: It doesn’t address the places Americans live. And our physical geography—where we sleep, work, shop, worship, and send our kids to play, and how we move between those places—is more foundational to a green, fair future than just about anything else. The proposal encapsulates the liberal delusion on climate change: that technology and spending can spare us the hard work of reform.

Hive cities, density, density, density. The way I prefer to live is the only way anyone should live. Slate is getting better and better at turning personality flaws into policy proposals. Or, as Ballard put it…

“The more arid and affectless life became in the high-rise, the greater the possibilities it offered. By its very efficiency, the high-rise took over the task of maintaining the social structure that supported them all. For the first time, it removed the need to suppress every kind of anti-social behavior and left them free to explore any deviant or wayward impulses. It was precisely in these areas where the most important and interesting aspects of their lives would take place. Secure within the shell of the high-rise, like passengers on board an automatically-piloted airliner, they were free to behave in any way they wished, explore the darkest corners they could find. In many ways, the high-rise was a model of all that technology had done to make possible the expression of a truly free psychopathology.”

― J.G. Ballard, High-Rise

Now here’s someone that knows the best meat is on the face.

Florida politician accused of licking faces has resigned

MADEIRA BEACH, Florida — Commissioner Nancy Oakley is being accused of sexually harassing a former city manager.

The Florida Commission on Ethics issued a report on its findings that Oakley possibly violated state law because she was “exhibiting inappropriate behavior” when she licked the city manager’s face at a fishing tournament in 2012.

The report said there was testimony from multiple witnesses saying Oakley also touched the then-city manager inappropriately, and that she was intoxicated.

The city manager didn’t report the incident out of fear of losing his job, the Commission on Ethics reports. He filed a formal complaint against Oakley in 2017 when she filed for re-election.

Upon election, she and another commissioner and the newly elected mayor suspended the city manager, who says they knew the ethics complaint against Oakley was pending.

According to the Miami Herald, Oakley resigned to avoid being fired.