ZARDOZ SPEAK TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. END OF ANOTHER WEEK. HOPEFULLY YOU HAVE SUCCESSFULLY PURIFIED THE FILTH OF BRUTALS. ZARDOZ CAN ONLY DO SO MUCH WITHOUT HIS CHOSEN ONES. THEREFOR, RECEIVE A FRIDAY NIGHT REWARD – THE BEST ADVICE!
THE BRUTAL DEAR ABBY HAS BEEN BEATEN DOWN FOR NOW, THUS A NEW FOE WILL FACE DEFEAT AT THE HANDS…UM, ADVICE OF ZARDOZ!
LET THE RESOUNDING VICTORY FOR ZARDOZ COMMENCE!
Q: I bully my sister for her weight: My sister Margaret (30) is morbidly obese: 230 pounds and five feet tall. She’s happy, active, and has a wonderful group of friends. But she refuses to take steps to lose weight, and she eats poorly, and it drives me crazy. I love Margaret so much and am terrified of losing her too early. I also hate that people hurt her feelings and treat her poorly because of her health. This manifests in me criticizing her and picking fights with her about her weight. I’m ruining my relationship with Margaret. She avoids me, and I don’t blame her. I make her feel bad about herself. I don’t know how to change this dynamic, because swallowing my fear drives me crazy. My own husband has lectured me about this. I want to change. Where do I begin?
A: FOOL OF A BRUTAL! YOU BEGIN BY NOT CHANGING AT ALL. IN FACT, YOU HAVE PROBABLY NOT GONE FAR ENOUGH. DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW DIFFICULT IT IS TO KEEP THE VORTEX SUPPLIED WITH ENOUGH GRAIN FOR THEIR BREAD?
RECRIMINATIONS ASIDE, ZARDOZ WILL HELP. THIS PORCINE SIBLING OF YOURS WILL NO DOUBT BE DRAWN TO THE VORTEX’S GRAIN BINS. ZED WILL LIE IN WAIT AND WHEN SHE COMES TO SNAFFLE THE GRAIN…
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
AND NOW, RECEIVE THE GIFT OF THE LINK!
- ZARDOZ IS PLEASED. THIS WILL HELP CONTINUE THE MISERY OF BRUTALS IN THE SOCIALIST STATE! FAMINE ONLY HELPS CLEANSE THE FILTH OF BRUTALITY. VIVA MADURO!
- HAS ZARDOZ NOT WARNED YOU, THE PENIS IS EVIL! IT MATTERS NOT WHO OR WHAT BEARS THE EVIL.
- POLITICAL BRUTAL SLAP FIGHT! ZARDOZ IS DISAPPOINT THIS WILL NOT LEAD TO WAR.
GO FORTH AND COMMENT! ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.