Brett escaped his SMITH-family overlords only to be re-apprehended by his employer. If his comments on the meetings he’ll be in today are any indication, I suspect he’ll be returning to the… uh… “welcoming embrace” of the SMITHs before too long. Luckily for you all, my coworkers have been temporarily tamed by a tidal wave of sugar and fat thanks to my office’s 6th annual Pi Day (our first annual Pi Day was just me baking a shitty blueberry pie and telling everyone Pi Day was a thing). My ability to pie crust is significantly better and I’ve gotten weirder with my choices. Anyway, enough about my attempts to manipulate my coworkers with carbohydrates. To the news!
- Polish newspaper runs front page list on ‘how to spot a Jew’ –I’m told y’all talked about this earlier, but it bears linking.
- Pence hosts openly gay Irish prime minister and his partner for breakfast –Times are changing! Soon Race Bannon and his co-parent, Dr. Quest will be more comfortable living openly.
- Butterball issues nationwide recall of nearly 80,000 pounds of ground turkey –Vegans everywhere: Finally! It’s not romaine or beansprouts!
- Holy fudge: soft foods helped humans form ‘f’ and ‘v’ sounds –I’mma need some of our cunning linguists to weigh in on this. I spent a year trying to teach little Korean children–who ate an awful lot of 죽 (juk) or soft rice porridge–how to say “fat” instead of “ppat”.
- Scientists Call For Global Moratorium On Creating Gene-Edited Babies — I’m reminded of a poignant line from Gattaca on the innate morality of improving our genes through editing: Beautiful piece of equipment there, Jerome. I see a great many in the course of a given day. Yours just happens to be an exceptional example. I don’t know why my folks didn’t order one like that for me.
And I suppose a wee bit of music goes here, no?