Q. I am a 15-year-old girl. I have been friends with “Amanda” for two years. She helped me through a really tough time, which is how we became friends.
Recently, she has been going around telling people she is dating someone famous from a band and claiming she gets to hang out with them all the time. It is really stressful.
My other friend and I don’t understand why Amanda is doing this. We think it’s wrong to tell people these lies. When we have asked her about it, she always gets defensive and lies to us. She blocked my friend and me on Instagram, and that really upset us as well.
We don’t know what to do. We know you give great advice, and we hope you can help us with this. — STRESSED OUT IN IOWA
A. SEA SMITH GIVE BETTER ADVICE! SEA SMITH MAKE LIE TRUE. SEA SMITH FRONTCREATURE IN BAND!
SO SEA SMITH NOW DATE FRIEND “AMANDA”. BY DATE, MEAN RAPE. ON DATE. NOW HER TELL TRUTH, YOU BE FRIENDS AGAIN. NO WORRY ABOUT INSTAGRAM. IT NO WORK IN WATER. THIS ADVICE THING VERY EASY! SEA SMITH TRY NEXT ONE…
Q. I know a young newlywed couple who just had their first baby. The baby is weeks old and isn’t crawling yet. My concern is that they have a box turtle for a pet in their small apartment. They’ve had the turtle for probably a year and, while it has a cage, they often let it loose in the kitchen. I don’t know if it has reign over other parts of the home.
This turtle is at least 8 inches across its shell, and its head is more than an inch long with a half-inch bite. The baby will be crawling this year. I feel the turtle is a threat, and the baby will no doubt be attracted to it and likely try to crawl over and touch it. The turtle’s bites are notoriously sharp and likely contaminated, and I’m concerned about the baby losing a finger. Is this a reasonable concern? — PROTECTOR IN NEVADA
A. YOU MIND OWN BUSINESS, “PROTECTOR”. MORE LIKE “STICKNOSEINOR”. SEA SMITH KNOW MANY FINE TURTLE! THEM USEFUL CREATURE. USE FOR FURNITURE, USE FOR RAPE, USE FOR SOUP. LEAVE TURTLE ALONE!
BESIDE, BABY NO CRAWL FASTER THAN TURTLE, HOW IT SUPPOSED SURVIVE? IF REALLY WANT, CAN GO HIRE COUSIN STEVE SMITH WATCH TURTLE. IT ACT BAD, COUSIN STEVE SMITH HIT WITH BIG ROCK. OR RAPE. OR BOTH. AT ONCE.
SEA SMITH NOW GO TAKE PET FISH FOR SWIM.
COME ON IN, WATER FINE!
…SEA SMITH THINK HE NEED MORE BE IN CHARGE OF THINGS ON SITE…