In our new reality, it’s no longer Judge Wapner at 8, it’s the elderly Jew at 7. But have no fear, because… ok, maybe have some fear. Well… not fear, exactly, more like trepidation. OK, not really trepidation…

Many happy birthdays today, starting with one of my personal heroes, David Hume; one of my favorite writers, A.E. van Vogt; my favorite fiction writer (and erstwhile subject of a Jewsday) Bernard Malamud; and portrayer of Gus Fring and Mike Giardello, Giancarlo Esposito.

On to the news.



Making Chicago look better, one grift at a time.


This is my shocked face.


I am soooo buying popcorn futures.


Easier way: tell the Chinese, “They’re delicious! Come and get it!”


“Snitches get stitches! Brawwwwwwk!”


Team Red, totally doing God’s work and not worrying about fringe partisan bullshit. Riiiight.


White supremacist racist professor outrages College Democrats at DePaul. For your amusement, here’s his faculty web page.


Climate change: kill the birds, tuppence a bag.


What Great Britain needs is common-sense cyanoacrylate control.


Spudalicious hardest hit.


Flying the friendly skies.


News from an actual sport.


This explains Twitter.


“Florida” is derived from the Seminole word meaning “Where people go to die.” But not before making incredible nuisances of themselves.


Banjos, outed!



Old Guy Music is the Sun Ra Orchestra without Sun Ra. Yeah, it looks like a Leisure Village reunion, but holy shit there’s some amazing playing here. And especially by Marshall Allen, who would be as famous as Coltrane if he hadn’t plied his trade in the avant garde but worked in more accessible genres. That fucker was NINETY ONE YEARS OLD!