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Progressivism as Millenarian Cult
I’ve alluded to this several times in the comment section and finally got around to consolidating my thoughts into something (semi) coherent. I believe that modern Progressivism functions much in the same way as a Millenarian cult. For those not familiar, Millenarian cults have been around for basically as long as humans have been around. The etymology of the word is not 100% clear, but it seems to stem from the claim from Revelations that the Second Coming will usher in a reign of perfection for 1000 years. This is the Christian version, but these types of cults go back much further than that. The basic idea is that there will be a sudden and fundamental shift in which all of society is transformed, usually after some kind of catastrophe (war, natural disaster, plague, etc.) and afterward, the righteous will live on in a Utopia. ISIS was a Millenarian cult in that they were open about wanting to goad the West into a “war to end all wars” that would bring about the perfect Islamic society. Progs, I believe, have crossed into this arena in that much of their behavior is overtly, and often pointlessly, antagonistic to their ideological enemies. For example: immigrant caravans. These are quite obviously being organized top-down by prog NGOs and non-profits, then covered extensively by the DemOpMedia. Why now? They could have been doing this for 8 years during Obama and he likely would have bent over backward to accommodate them and bring the people in. Instead, they pull this stunt during Trump’s admin in which his primary campaign plank is ending illegal immigration. They’re trying to provoke a response and I believe it goes far beyond political gamesmanship. They are, quite literally, on a Mission from G-d (or whatever higher power they ascribe to) and crave war. You see it everywhere in the DemOpMedia; times when it would makes sense in every way to try and deescalate, they turn things up to eleven antagonizing for seemingly no reason. Their ratings and reputation continue to find new meanings of rock bottom; but those are temptations of Babylon. They have a greater purpose, they must bring about the Apocalypse at any cost. Only then can Bad Orange Man and his army of sub-human Deplorables be wiped from the Earth once and for all. Then, my brothers, sisters and non-binary otherkin, the great World to Come will be upon us and we will bask in the warm, healing glow of perfect society.
Better Living Through Chemistry: Prescription Edition
In a previous Brain Toilet, I outlined the best OTC supplements for life enhancement, now I move on to prescriptions. A few words of caution: I strongly recommend conferring with a physician before undertaking any of these treatments. The last thing I want on my conscience is some foolish Glib trying one of these cavalierly and ending up disabled or dead. Ultimately, you are responsible for what you put in your body, but please be careful. One more note, it is (mostly) legal to order these meds over the internet as long as they aren’t scheduled. If they’re scheduled/controlled, all bets are off. I take no responsibility for your decisions; once again use your best judgement. Basically, don’t take these drugs, ever. Good thing I have a friend who can tell me all about their effects.
Cabergoline – I have flogged this miracle drug in the comment section before so you should be mildly familiar with it. This is an ergot derivative dopamine agonist, specifically of the D2 receptor. Approved treatments are Parkinsons’s and RLS, but it is sometimes used off-label for depression and used recreationally for sexy fun time. You see, this drug suppresses prolactin, the hormone responsible for the male refractory period; meaning if you take it for a couple of weeks, your prolactin level will drop basically to zero and you will be able to ejaculate over and over with little to no break in between. Watch out for signs of impulse control disorder or DAWS. Use caution, but my friend says it’s totes worth it.
Topiramate – This is an anti-epileptic drug that is also sometimes used for bipolar as well. It is also notorious for rapid and massive weight loss, so much so that it’s sometimes used off-label for antipsychotic associated weight gain. My friend says this stuff works as advertised and fast. No one really knows why it does this, but concerted effort is required to make sure the weight stays off once the drug is no longer being taken. The list of side-effects is also about 2 miles long so caveat emptor.
Various Serotonergic Drugs for Premature Ejaculation – This is not a problem my friend has traditionally had issues with so a grain of salt is likely needed here, but these drugs’ ability to delay ejaculation for men quick on the trigger is very well documented. If you suffer from said problem and you’d like to treat your gal/guy to longer rolls in the hay, this could be a solution for you. Each flavor seems to have different levels of activity though, ranging from fluvoxamine (minor delay if at all) to clomipramine (he/she wants to be fucked until the next arrival of Haley’s Comet). These drugs are very well studied so you can find mountains of information on them.
Trazodone – Another antidepressant, but not of the serotonergic variety, this guy does not cause the same sexual issues as the previous ones and his primary off-label use is for insomnia. A low dose (50 mg or so) should be enough to send you to dreamland post haste with minimal drowsiness the next day.
Things Worse Than Hitler
- Using water instead of milk for hot cocoa
- People who continue to text/talk on the phone while at the counter of a business
- Dewpoints above 70F
- Granny panties
- Tube socks
- Jar Jar Binks
- Charles Preston’s crossword puzzles
- Meaningless MBA corporate buzzwords
- The destruction of one of your favorite places on Earth by a shithead land developer but you can’t get too mad because it’s capitalism after all and time marches on
- Girls that don’t keep things fresh “down there”
- Real Salt Lake
- Hipsters who like things “you’ve probably never heard of bro”
- Nike soccer balls
- Juniper, unless harnessed in gin
- And of course, DRUMPF (am I doing this right?)
The End… ?
Until next time sweet Glibs. Look both ways before you cross the street, always brush your teeth and wrap your whacker before you attack her. You have been subjected to yet another peristaltic ejection from Q’s brain, make sure you wash your hands before you eat.