Greetings to the various homonims – and heteronims- who are up on this beautiful Saturday morning. I feel that it is my duty to make you as miserable as I am today, and what better way to accomplish this than bringing you news stories? I will not be around much, since I’m spending the rest of the morning driving to Absentia, but I assume you don’t need adult supervision. Don’t make me stop this car and turn around!

Today teems with birthdays, but I’ll only mention a few: my favorite 19th century physicist; my favorite 19th century photographer; my favorite 19th century philosopher (though he worked in both the 19th and 20th); one of the Jews of the Ponderosa; and inarguably the greatest third baseman ever, and (I can personally attest) an amazingly nice, articulate, and engaging guy.


Oops. “Missed it by THAT much!”


Notice how the schools in less affluent communities that didn’t get on board the Team Blue train have dropped off the radar. Whatever happened to that bald chick?


Labour, totally not antisemitic. Bonus appearance by that blonde chick who chubbed out in an Israeli prison. No hunger strikes for her since then, either.


Totally not rigged.


Jesus fucking christ, is there ANYTHING left that won’t drum up outrage?


“Oh, ho, ho, dose silly shvartzes!”


Desperate times call for particularly stupid proposals.


Fucking dinosaurs and their fucking cars.


Awww, they’re not even trying to pretend any more.


If the heat doesn’t kill us all first…



Old Guy Music today is one that amuses the hell out of me. I always thought Alice Cooper was an underrated band because of the extreme gimmickry. The same gimmickry that made them popular. In any case, here’s a song from one of their early albums, where they decided to show everyone that they could Prog rock with the best of them. And yeah, they pretty much did.