ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. TONIGHT THE CHOSEN ONES GET A DOUBLE, DOUBLE FEATURE. NOT JUST THE BEST ADVICE, BUT THE BEST ADVICE WHILE DEFEATING 2 DIFFERENT BRUTAL ADVICE GIVERS! FIRST, ZARDOZ DISPOSES OF THE BRUTAL “DEAR ABBY“. AS ZARDOZ IS PLEASED BY THE CONTENT OF THE SITE THIS WEEK, HE REWARDS THE CHOSEN ONES BY DISPATCHING THE BRUTAL ADVICE GIVER “ASK AMY”.
Q: I have a former co-worker whose husband was just released from a psychiatric facility. He had threatened to kill himself and take the entire family with him. I met him before the incident. He did not seem balanced then, and I was uncomfortable being around him.
Since his release, my friend keeps inviting me to their house and wants to come to mine. I keep making excuses for not allowing visits to my house or hers. I still have a bad feeling about being exposed to him and possibly putting myself in danger. I have been in abusive relationships in the past, and one attack was nearly fatal.
I have spoken to her about the dangers of being with a person such as him. But she says she can’t leave because they have three children on the spectrum. Am I being silly? — APPREHENSIVE IN TEXAS
A: ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, YOU SPINELESS BRUTAL. AND ZARDOZ DOES NOT HAVE COMFORTING WORDS. YOU HAVE TWO OPTIONS – FIRST, GO FORTH AND CLEANSE THE CRAZED BRUTAL…PREEMPTIVELY, OF COURSE. THIS WILL ALLOW YOUR FORMER CO-WORKER TO CARE FOR THE SPECTRAL BRUTAL CHILDREN.
SECOND IS A BIT TRICKIER, BUT DOES BENEFIT ZARDOZ IN THE END, SO HE RECOMMENDS IT. FIRST, CONTINUE TO DISTRACT, DELAY AND STALL AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. ZARDOZ WILL SEND THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS TO HELP…
BUT NOT TO CLEANSE THE CRAZED BRUTAL. RATHER, TO RECRUIT HIM. THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS COULD ALWAYS USE ANOTHER PSYCHOPATH. YOUR FORMER CO-WORKER IS FREE, YOU ARE NOT THREATENED, AND ZARDOZ GAINS A HEADCOUNT. WIN-WIN-WIN. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
Q: My husband has been significantly overweight most of his life. He recently lost more than 60 pounds on a very strict diet. (I have to work to stay at a healthy weight, but have never been more than 10 to 15 pounds over my ideal weight).
He’s much healthier now, and I’m extremely proud of him and his dedication to a new lifestyle.
However, when he was overweight he was generally relaxed, fun and easy-going (these are also the qualities that attracted me to him). Now, after the weight loss, he generally seems miserable. I’m not the only person to have noticed this change.
A few days ago a good friend told me that my husband is “the most miserable skinny person,” he’s ever known.
I’ve tried to talk with him multiple times, both to let him know how proud I am of him for this accomplishment, and to try to understand why he seems so unhappy despite achieving the goal he set for himself. The most I’ve been able to get from him is that now that he’s lost the weight he’s embarrassed about how overweight he was.
Amy, I loved my husband when he was overweight and I love him now, but after almost six months of dealing with his negativity, criticism and a much shorter temper than usual, I’m not sure how to help without sounding like I’m trying to derail his health plans.
Any thoughts on how I can help us through this challenge?
A: OH, LOOK CHOSEN ONES! IT APPEARS ZARDOZ HAS FOUND ANOTHER SCIENTIST FOR THE VORTEX. “I think much of his negativity stems from hunger and having to deny himself his favorite foods.” SUCH BRAINPOWER RIVALS THAT OF THE TABERNACLE! WITLESS BRUTAL – YOU MUST SEND YOUR HUSBAND DELICIOUS BREAD FROM THE VORTEX. IN FACT, ZARDOZ WILL SEND SOME BY “BRUTALCART EATS”…
IF THAT IS NOT ENOUGH – THEN IT IS BANQUET TIME. CALL AHEAD FOR RESERVATIONS AT THE VORTEX. TELL ‘EM “ZARDOZ SENT ME.”
LEAVE A GOOD REVIEW ON YELP. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
THE CHOSEN ONES MAY NOW REVEL IN THE LINKS THAT ZARDOZ PROVIDES. GO FORTH AND COMMENT!
- AS IF THE CHOSEN ONES NEED MORE EVIDENCE THAT THE PENIS IS EVIL… VERY WELL, HERE YOU ARE THEN. NOTE THE ACTIONS OF THE ACCUSED BRUTAL – IS THIS WHAT THE CHOSEN ONES REFER TO AS “PUMP AND DUMP”? THE SCHOOL, NOT THE FEMALE BRUTALS…
- HOW CAN THIS BRUTAL BE A SOCIALIST – HE MAKE SENSE. THIS CAN ONLY MEAN HE WILL BE THWARTED.
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.