Happy Friday to you all! Light candles! Drink wine! Yes, Shabbos doesn’t start until sundown, but it’s sundown somewhere or other. And we start our drinking early these days, what with Mom around, asking, “Where is this place? Why am I here? What is reality?” If we can get her to chug a glass, she’ll doze off, then wake up later asking, “Where is this place? Why am I here? What is reality? Who is that nice little girl and why does she seem skittish around you?”

Birthdays today include the guy who really did make us all equal; coincidentally, our other spirit animal; the pride of Fall River; the other half of the greatest animation team I mentioned a few days ago; half of the shittiest animation team of the 20th century; a great comedian and comic actor who reliably cracks me up; and a guy who couldn’t even leave a mark on Nixon.

On to the news!




Greatest Headline EVER.


Food sales unaccountably skyrocket.


Chances of Collecting: Zero.


It’s a smart way to piss yourself.


Illinois looks behind the sofa cushions for change. Presumably, the agency is either some politico’s brother in law or a major contributor (officially or “informally”).




What the sweet fuck???


Did I mention that, aside from the weather, we love living here?


Old Guy Music commemorates the moon landing. As far as I’m aware, despite the most momentous achievement in human history happening at the peak of rock creativity, this is the only song ever written about it.And it’s a cool song, done before Anderson blew out his voice, so the vocals are excellent.