Brett is off on a family emergency (that might be a euphemism, but maybe not), so I’m pinch-hitting. Because mere massive traumas shouldn’t get in the way of this fine and reliable site bringing you news stories to ignore. And birthdays, which include those of a Romer; a cartoonist who was the visual equivalent of SugarFree; another guy who should have gotten a Nobel; a famous hatchet man; the first female senator from South Carolina; the tits that made Witness tolerable; one of my sure signs of a bad movie; and someone who famously showed her asshole to Louis CK.


One gets on

and one gets off,

and another one rides the bus.


Apparently, a trigger warning was needed.


Now we just need them to kill the rest of that line of shitty computers.


Reminds me of the old joke whose punchline is, “But Rabbi, there’s an r in Yom Kippur!”


News from my undergrad alma mater. And I have an alibi.


Piss hookers need to clean up their act.


Yoots. True story: SugarFree and I were in a Walgreens near my house to pick up a few items. We got into a conversation with the kid at the register after SF made a joke about “dine and dash at Walgreens.” Apparently, their policy is not just forbidding workers from chasing thieves, but they are actually supposed to say, “Have a nice day!” as the perp runs out the door. We all had a good laugh, and as we were leaving, the kid ostentatiously said, “Have a nice day!”


Old Guy Music is a sweet piece from one of my favorite songwriters that SP reminded me about last night. The fact that the resolution to this story is left hanging is part of the charm of the song.