Usually when the skies are empty, I figure it’s just a whim of orbital mechanics.  But it’s very unusual to see things this quiet two weeks in a row.  So to pad things out I’m going to incorporate a controversial construction.  The obvious bit is the alignment with the moon being between the Earth and the sun.  This happens every month and is a generally energizing thing (though less so than the equally common Sun-Earth-Moon arrangement.  The extremely rare Earth-Sun-Moon alignment portends the extinction of all life on the planet).  So to save us from tedium, we’re going to look at a quasi-alignment, thus:

Unfortunately my copy of Powerpoint doesn't have any other emojis to choose from

Mars should be angry, Venus should be female, and Saturn should be grumpy, but w/e.

See how neither Jupiter nor Saturn quite lines up, but they both almost do, and in equal but opposite ways?  That last bit is what transforms it from “random shit I just made up” to (debatably) “confirmed astrological science.”  Now these equal and oppositional forces don’t negate each other (otherwise they wouldn’t be present to be read) but rather you combine them as vector multiplication (see Math = SCIENCE!) and generate a new influence in the direction of the cross-product.  When you combine that with the male/female dynamic embodied by Mars/Venus, the surface-level interpretation is “Government enacts new population control measure.”  And surface-level analysis is all you’re going to get from me today, the brain is pretty worn out from not sleeping right for two weeks.  So expect GND, increased funding for contraception/abortion, reducing parent subsidies and anything else that inhibits the conception of new humans.

Libra’s got a whole passel of goodness, not only grabbing the typical inner planets (for love and luck) but also the moon (for that extra bit of good fortune).  What they don’t have is  Mars, so while everything is going your way, don’t fuck it up by being too aggressive. On that note, Mars is in Virgo, so expect unjustified aggression and various bits of cuntery.

The cards say the week is going to start poorly, but finish much better, with you avoiding a major mishap.

Libra:  4 of Coins reversed – delay, suspense, opposition

Scorpio:  7 of Wands reversed – Perplexity, embarrassments, anxiety

Sagittarius:  Queen of Cups reversed – Either a good woman, or a woman who appears distinguished but is not to be trusted, perversity, vice, depravity, dishonor

Capricorn:  3 of Swords reversed – Error, loss, distraction, confusion

Aquarius:  3 of Coins – Trade, skilled labor, renown, glory

Pisces:  Page of Cups – Message, application, reflection, study, fair young man who will render service

Aries:  Ace of Cups reversed – False heart, mutation, instability, revolution

Taurus:  7 of Coins – Money, business, barter, success in investing, successful completion

Gemini:  9 of Wands – Strength in opposition, delay suspension, adjournment

Cancer:  The Lovers – Attraction, love, beauty, trials overcome

Leo:  The Tower reversed –  Oppression, imprisonment, tyranny, plus lesser versions of all the bad stuff assosciated with The Tower

Virgo:  7 of Swords – Design, attempt, wish, hope, confidence; also quarrelling, a plan that may fail, annoyance