Better mechanics than anyone on the Tigers staff

The Astros managed a sweep of bottom-feeders Kansas City to get back on track and tie the Yankees again for best record in baseball, with the Dodgers a mere game behind, as we head into the final couple of weeks of the season.  This is gonna be fun. So are the Wild Card races, to be honest. I’d not want to face Cleveland right now. Or the A’s. Hell, or Milwaukee. Enjoy the next 14 days!

You know who is not enjoying things right now? Arsenal or Everton fans. Meanwhile Liverpool stay perfect to start the season with maximum points as Man City lost to Norwich in a surp…wait, they lost to Norwich?!?! LOL, good times. UCL group games start this week as well, which is pretty sweet.

Bye-bye playoff chances

And in football, Tennessee actually won a game, Ohio State pounded Indiana, Maryland shit the bed, as did USC, and Kentucky, and Florida State. While in the NFL, a couple of future HOF quarterbacks went down for what looks like an extended period, as their teams both lost.  The Patriots keep rolling, the Bengals are a joke, the Rams found a way to win, the Vikings didn’t and the Kansas City Chefs look incredible. I know I’m missing a few things, but I can’t just cater to the sensible people on here who are sports fans, so I gotta keep it brief lest the uncultured sports-haters blow a gasket.

The Nick Gillespie of magicians

Railroad tycoon Charles Crocker was born on this day.  So were: former British Prime Minister Bonar Law, department store magnate James Cash Penney, bluesman BB King, actor Peter Falk, hall of fame cager Elgin Baylor, actor and amateur boxer Mickey Rourke, magician David Copperfield, baseball players Tim Raines and Orel Hershiser, and actress Amy Poehler.  Meh.

Alrighty then, let’s get this week started with…the links!

Well, I’m sure the NYT is really upset that they’ve now walked back their hit piece on Justice Brett Kavanaugh. Or, and stay with me here, they don’t give a shit because all they cared about was stirring shit and creating a narrative.

Purdue Pharma has filed bankruptcy as vultures circle in an effort to steal the personal wealth of its owners. Because, you know, they put these drugs on the market without getting FDA approval, forced patients to take them without a doctor’s prescription, and continued to drug people with them by not disclosing any potential side effects found during the approval process.  LOL, just kidding. They complied with every regulation put in place and doctors were all given literature describing everything known from trials. Well I hope they manage to keep their fairly-earned wealth and these grifter AGs end up with jack shit.

Artist’s depiction of Corn Pop, post-Biden intervention

Poor Corn Pop.  Glad to know Joe Biden was there with his chain to teach you the error of your ways.  And I’m glad that the Sharks and the Jets were all finally able to set their differences aside.

Its a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off for him. I mean, why not just say “I don’t want to go”, you stupid asshole? Also, it will not pay off for him.

Nearly 50,000 auto workers go on strike in biggest labor walkout in quite some time. Hear that, Alabama, Mississippi, South Carolina, and others? That’s the sound of a gigantic fucking cash register opening up.  So please, please, please stick your hand in and take the money!

If you find the results of this policy surprising in the least, then you must not have been paying attention. But its ok, their intentions were honorable.  I guess. No wait, they weren’t. Their intentions were to get rid of homeless people so they wouldn’t have to look at them.

And oil prices spiked and stocks are expected to have a bumpy ride after a drone attack on the largest refinery in the world in Saudi Arabia.  Please don’t drag us into this, Trump. I’m begging you. I know you tweeted some stupid shit last night, but please, please, please don’t stick America’s dick in this meat grinder.

I wouldn’t be doing him or music in general justice if I didn’t mention that Ric Ocasek, frontman for The Cars, died yesterday at the age of 75. Dude was a hell of a musician. So enjoy a song of theirs.  And enjoy a second one. Aw hell, let’s do three (with extra funky keyboards).

Now go enjoy the start of the week.