Ugly Trophy Edition:  It turns out there are teams out there worse than MICHIGAN

This past week we learned that there is a college in Ypsilanti, so don’t go using that sweet town’s name in vain just because you want to make fun of Jim Harbaugh (personal motto:  I was born in Toledo!).  We also learned that GM’s Willow Run plant closed in 2010 (thanks, Obama), so we’ll need to pick on some other township the next time we want to make tranny jokes.

Out on the grid-iron, we book only two toldjasos™, but one comes at the high cost of conceding a mistake.  The week that was:


Week Six Most OverRated Football Program Results

1          Boise State unremarkably trounced entertainment engineering powerhouse UNLV

2          Wake Forest doesn’t play Unitas-less Louisville until next weekend (I misread their calendar)

3          Georgia finally took the all-time series lead over hapless Tennessee

4          Florida handled Auburn and child quarterback Nix

4          Iowa was corn-holed by the near-nobodies at Ann Arbor

6          Texas recovered from an early scare to survive at West Virginia

7          Auburn has a solid defense, but so does Florida, so they fell five places

7          Oregon quietly managed Cal

9          Oklahoma beat KU by only 25


Iowa’s not much to brag on, but some trophies are just uglier than others.  Ranked 14th, they gave up eight sacks to 19th ranked Michigan and fell, appropriately, four spots.

Auburn’s loss to Florida was a very even match, but in the polls your punishment is always all out of proportion to what happened at the game.  So Auburn falls five places, and they are now proven to have been at least a bit over-rated.  I can’t put it more succinctly than MSN:

. . . a game that was tense, sloppy, mistake-filled, oddly coached and generally impossible to figure out from possession to possession.  After four turnovers apiece and a whole bunch of other weirdness, it was No. 8 Florida blowing the game open on Lamical Perine’s 88-yard touchdown run with 9:04 remaining, giving the Gators a terrific win and a 6-0 record despite some very clear flaws. And for No. 7 Auburn, it was a reality check about life with a true freshman quarterback in Bo Nix, who seemed rather overwhelmed with the whole thing and made some truly terrible decisions . . .


This correspondent has trifled with Florida and had bagged them already earlier in the season when AP voters had lost their collective nerve over the Gators.  But now we must concede that any earlier call on UF was bull feathers and book them as a clear miss.  They feature a second-string quarterback, but, as usual, their defensive secondary is fearless and fast.  They’re still over-rated a place or two, but that’s still too close, so let’s just agree I was wrong on this one.

So snarking about the rankings is nearly dead for the year; there’s just not much new left to yell about from the peanut gallery.  Indeed, in my admittedly very slow news, I found that if you duckduckgo for “heckler” you get endless pictures of cool pistols; that’s all I learned this week.  Now . . . onto your season’s-under-way and Iowa-free rankings:


Newest Week N + 1 Post-Iowa Most OverRated Football Programs

1      Wake Forest will host Unitas-less Louisville as my All-Time Most OverRated Team of All-Time!!11!!

2      Minnesoda almost ties the Wake record with their ridiculous debut but should edge Nebraska by four

3       Memphis jumps onto our board; Temple won’t have a prayer against the Tiger Hype

4       Boise State hosts Hawaii

5       Georgia should roll over The Other USC

6       Texas meets worthy Oklahoma in the Red River Classic

7       Oregon should bulldoze Colorado

     Oklahoma meets worthy Texas in the Red River Classic

Honorable mentions – Utah is still over-ranked, but I’ve made enough fun of them already this year.  SMU should damp to their mean soon.  So how has our year gone so far?


Year to Date Hides on the Wall Rated

1          Utah lost to an unrated USC

2          Stanford was revealed by USC

2          Syracuse was unranked after Maryland

2          UCF was edged by an unranked Pitt

2          Iowa was no number 15 as Michigan proved

6          Cal was dumped from the AP after losing to Arizona State

6          Iowa State was dethroned before their decent showing against Iowa

6          Michigan State fell out of the ratings, so I was right after all

9          Clemson was dethroned by Mack Brown retirement project UNC

9          Texas probably over-paid for losing to titan LSU

9          Auburn probably over-paid for losing to Auburn

9          Texas A&M probably over-paid for quality losses against Clemson and Auburn

13        Washington State was unranked after becoming lowly UCLA’s first win

14        Michigan was blown out by Wisconsin

15        Virginia probably over-paid for losing to can-play-with-UGA Notre Dame


Year to Date It-Would-Seem Blown Calls Because They’re Doing Okay Really Well

1          LSU

2          Florida seems to have earned their status by defeating top-ten Auburn

3          UCF is now a skin on the wall after Pitt

4          Michigan no longer a blown call because Wisconsin

5          Washington State no longer a blown call because UCLA

Let’s score this year 152-3 so far, nothing to be ashamed of.  So closes another week!



links to older opinions:                  2019-10-03                  2019-09-26                  2019-09-19                  2019-09-13                  2019-09-06
Disclosure of sources of bias:  your writer has attended the University of Tennessee, Memphis State and the University of Memphis, Christian Brothers College . . . and he sleeps with an alumna of Georgia whose parents met at Washington State . . . and his son went to Houston . . . and he never met anyone from TCU he didn’t like . . . and he irrationally hates Notre Dame, UCF, Clemson, and Notre Dame.