How’s everyone enjoying their MERCURY RETROGRADE? While that’s always an important event, this week it’s even more so since it’s at the intersection of two otherwise independent alignments. (Hmmmm. Maybe I should submit a proposal to open an Intersectional Astrology department at some woke university somewhere.) The first one is pretty straightforward: Earth-MERCURY RETROGRADE-Jupiter. This is not a good sign unfortunately. This is domestic misrule/disorder on the magnitude of an animal hoarder. And you can’t avoid it by hiding out in a hotel or going on vacation — you’ll just come home to burst pipes, a tree branch through a window, and/or a family of raccoons nesting in your furniture. So pay attention and don’t let the dirty dishes pile up. It might also be a good idea to suspend putting out birdseed until the bears go into hibernation.
The second alignment is much trickier: Venus-MERCURY RETROGRADE-Luna. Now the Venus and the moon are the two femmiest planets in the sky, but how does that relate to them being linked by MERCURY RETROGRADE? In this case, it’s helpful to notice that BOTH of those two are in signs associated with wisdom (Sagittarius and Capricorn respectively). So because of that, it’s pretty certain that this indicates “A crazy woman gives excellent advice.” Also of note is that there is a very heave water component to all of this with the moon in Capricorn and MERCURY RETROGRADE being in Scorpio. It’s also likely that this excellent advice will contain a revealed secret, as crazy people are wont to do.
Scorpio gets screwed by losing it’s planet early and only retaining MERCURY RETROGRADE. Take extra caution when handling hazardous materials this week. The two signs I don’t mention often (because Jupiter and Saturn move slowly) have things happening this week. Both Jupiter and Venus are in Sagittarius, so virtue is going to be rewarded by more than just being virtuous. “Game” tactics are contraindicated if you’re looking to get lucky this week. Capricorn has a fascinating situation holding the moon along with Saturn. Prophetic dreams will come. This is an excellent time for vision quests, peyote trips, and other psychonautical explorations. On a personal note, these signs all bode well for the class I’ll be taking that should provide fodder for “I Fucking Hate NY, pt 2.”
Thanks to MERCURY RETROGRADE I have no electricity or internet. Therefore there will be no card readings. All refund requests will be processed in the usual manner.