ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS HAVE BEEN RECRUITING – AND ZARDOZ WOULD HAVE THE OPINION OF THE CHOSEN ONES, ON A NEW RECRUIT…APPARENTLY ANYONE WHO CROSSES THIS PERSON ENDS UP CLEANSED.
PLEASE INFORM ZARDOZ OF YOUR COGITATIONS ON THIS IN THE COMMENTS. AS A REWARD FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE….ZARDOZ GIVES THE DUAL GIFT OF LINKS AND ADVICE! GO FORTH AND COMMENT.
- IF ZARDOZ COULD WEEP…OR WAS SO INCLINED, EVER… THE TRAVAILS OF THIS POOR BRUTAL WOULD BRING A LITHOID TEAR TO ZARDOZ’S CHEEK.
- ZARDOZ WISHES HIS CIRCUITS WOULD ALLOW FOR LAUGHTER. THIS INSPIRES THE DESIRE FOR MIRTH CIRCUITRY.
- YOU MAY ASK WHY ZARDOZ WISHES THE FILTH OF BRUTALITY CLEANSED FROM THE EARTH? OBSERVE THIS.
AND NOW THE CHOSEN ONES RECEIVE ADVICE ON MANNERS. GO FORTH AND ETIQUETTE!
Q: I host all holiday celebrations. This is because I have the space and the cooking skills, and for the most part, I enjoy spending time with family and friends and preparing a huge, elegant meal for them. With one exception, the crowd seated around the table always seems to enjoy the feast very much.
However, we have one family member, an older woman, who acts like a spoiled toddler at the table: making faces, gagging and spitting out any food that is not to her taste, then loudly announcing the specific reasons she does not care for the food, and what I should have made instead. She has even gone as far as to remove family favorites from the table, throwing plates full of food in the trash, yelling that she is protecting everybody else from being made ill by that horrible slop!
What she does like are instant foods and canned goods that are doctored up with sugar, garlic, prepackaged seasoning mixes and sometimes bacon. I cook from scratch and have a lighter hand with the seasonings. I try to make sure there are things on the table that she will eat, but she is the only one who wants that stuff, which also makes her very angry. Otherwise, I do my best to ignore the insulting and childish behavior.
My immediate family and I have had a terrible year, full of grief, stress, physical pain and illness, with more troubles on the horizon. I am having difficulty dealing with this extended family member’s outspokenness at times that are not so emotionally loaded as holiday celebrations, and have, on a couple occasions, snapped at her. If it were possible to be out of town for the holidays to avoid the unpleasantness, that is exactly what we would do, but we have obligations at home.
How do I keep my temper in check and create some boundaries while still being a good hostess? Do I somehow find the energy to cook her a big, separate meal in an attempt to keep the peace? Do I do it her way to shut her up, and let everybody else complain? Do I suggest that she go to the Asian restaurant down the road, the only business open over the holidays, if she cannot eat what is on my table? Do I confront her about her behavior? If so, how do I do it in a way that does not make others uncomfortable?
I need a plan, or I am afraid I will be unable to keep from sharing a few honest opinions of my own, and things will get ugly!
A: ZARDOZ SAYS, IF GREEN BREAD AND GOBLETS OF WATER ARE GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE ETERNALS, THEY ARE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOUR WHINY, DRAMATIC AND SENILE RELATIVE.
UPON FURTHER COGITATION, PERHAPS SHE SUFFERS FROM IGNORANCE OF HOW MUCH WORK GOES INTO THE PREPARATION OF SUCH FOOD. ZARDOZ CAN HAVE HER EDUCATED FROM FARM…
SO A GOOD ROUND OF GRAIN, BAKERY AND DELIVERY SLAVERY WILL SHUT GRANNY UP.
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.