ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ HAS UNCERTAIN COGITATIONS RUNNING AROUND HIS CIRCUITRY. YEAR END REVIEWS HAVE BEEN HELD. ZARDOZ GETS THE FEELING A PAPER TRAIL IS BEING CREATED AGAINST HIM! THE QUESTIONING FROM THE GLIBERTARIAN POWERS THAT BE WAS MOST INTENSE. “WE SPENT $285,000 ON GREEN BREAD?!” “CAN’T YOU JUST USE THE IN-HOUSE HR PEOPLE TO RECRUIT BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS?” THIS IS NOT THE WORST OF IT – ONE OF THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS HAS REPORTED TO ZARDOZ THAT INTERVIEWS ARE SURREPTITIOUSLY BEING HELD FOR AN UNNAMED POSITION.
THEREFOR, ZARDOZ SHALL PROVE HIS WORTH BY GIVING THE CHOSEN ONES THE GIFT OF THE LINK…AND ADVICE! GO FORTH AND COMMENT! OH, AND DO YOU WELL TO REMEMBER, THE PENIS IS EVIL, AND THE GUN IS GOOD!
- THANK YOU FOR FLYING AIR BORAT.
- WAS IT DURING A THREE HOUR TOUR?
- PERHAPS ZARDOZ SHOULD RECRUIT AMONGST ALBANIAN GANGS?
SUPERIOR ADVICE ON BEHAVIOR!
Q: My neighborhood grocery store has recently begun featuring a guitar-playing singer during busier shopping times. His makeshift stage is just by the door, so one is in his field of vision upon entering and exiting the store, as well as while browsing the produce.
While the songs aren’t offensive, loud or bothersome in any way, I find the whole arrangement awkward and generally try to avoid eye contact. Am I being rude? How should one respond to a live entertainer when shopping for necessaries?
A: WEAKLING! IF THE MERE PRESENCE OF A MUSICAL BRUTAL WHILST SHOPPING PUTS YOU OFF THIS MUCH, HOW WILL YOU BE ABLE TO CLEANSE THE FILTH OF BRUTALS, WHO PLAGUE THE EARTH?GRANTED, A GUITAR PLAYER IN THE PRODUCE SECTION MAKES AS MUCH SENSE AS A PAN FLUTE PLAYER IN THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATOR’S ARMORY. THEREFOR, ZARDOZ WILL SOLVE ALL THESE PROBLEMS AT ONCE.
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.