This morning, I am abandoning my usual format because there’s something that I need to announce. I spent some legal research time before coming to this decision, and I think we can legally do this. Here’s what I found out:

The US federal age of consent is 16.

The age of consent here in Arizona is 16.

And the age of consent in Sweden is 16.

Greta Thunberg is 17.

So this brings me to the point: we have discussed the use of the Glibertarian Foundation’s funds for paying our hosting fees and charitable donations to organizations like the Institute for Justice. We have found a better use.

I am hereby offering $10,000 to fuck Greta Thunberg in the ass. Ten. Thousand. Dollars. Cash. If she would prefer a donation to the Greenpeace or some other NGO in lieu of direct payment to her, that would be fine, but I am willing to pony up the cash to her directly.

In the ass. Ten. Thousand. Dollars.

 

Now on to the news. We’ll inform you as soon as we hear from Greta’s handlers parents. And don’t try this shit, that $10,000 isn’t paid until after I have taken her childhood from her.

 

Satan just appeared next to Brady to collect.

 

Not even our libraries will be spared because of Trump’s recklessness.

 

“Those grapes were probably sour, anyway.” Never change, NYT, never change.

 

Inspector Clouseau is on the case.

 

To Protect and Serve.

 

I like the way this guy thinks.

 

There really was only one choice for Old Guy Music today.

 

OK, the announcement is made, the offer is out there. It’s in your court, Greta. $10,000 can go a long way toward healing the Earth. You do want to heal the Earth, right?