Oscars Shut Out Women in Best Director Category Again

After a historic year for women directors, the Academy Awards have followed the regressive path established this awards season by the Golden Globes, SAG Awards and the BAFTAs by not nominating any women for best director.

Despite having been shut out in the run-up to the Oscars, “Little Women” director Greta Gerwig was still considered a frontrunner for an Oscar nomination, especially with the movie surpassing the box office milestone of $100 million worldwide. Lulu Wang, the director of “The Farewell,” was also thought to have a shot at a nomination.

But the Academy’s director’s branch thought otherwise.

“Little Women” received six nominations overall, including for best picture. Gerwig did receive a nomination for best adapted screenplay. John Cho and Issa Rae announced the nominations early Monday morning in Los Angeles, and after reading adapted screenplay, Rae commented, “Greta done slipped in there.”

Instead, the Academy went with all men, nominating Martin Scorsese for “The Irishman,” Quentin Tarantino for “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” Bong Joon Ho for “Parasite,” Sam Mendes for “1917” and Todd Phillips for “Joker.”

“Congratulations to those men,” said Rae, after reading those nominations.

A movie about four white girls doesn’t tick many diversity boxes.


My Husband Farts All the Time and Now He’s Taught Our Daughter She Can Also Fart Anywhere and Everywhere, Oh God

Dear Care and Feeding,

My husband is a human who farts a lot. I cannot stress enough how often and how loudly he farts. I’ve gotten used to it, but I grew up in one of those repressed households where girls (like myself) were supposed to feel shame and apologize for any passing of gas or burping.

Our daughter is 6 and thinks farting is hilarious. Who can blame her? She farts a lot and with no shame or remorse. She’s started to get teased in kindergarten for “having the stinkiest farts.” When she told us this last week, my husband counseled her to say “So what?” and then if the kid persists, lean in, sniff his breath, and tell him: “Yeah? Well your breath smells like poo.”

Most of me says: “Yes, stand up for yourself, Small Child. Don’t take any crap.” But the prude in me who gets so tired of the farts wonders if this is the best way to handle the situation. I want our daughter to feel comfortable in her body and trust that she is natural and fine, but I also know that being tagged as “the kid who farts all the time” could make elementary school even harder than it has to be. We teach her to chew with her mouth closed and not yell in people’s faces; surely fart management is part of the social contract?


Massive water main break floods Upper West Side, delays subways

A water main break turned several streets on the Upper West Side near Lincoln Center into rivers early Monday, flooding the basements of several buildings and shutting down subway lines.

The FDNY received a call around 5 a.m. about a leaking fire hydrant at 1881 Broadway, but officials realized the problem was far more severe due to the volume of calls about the flooding, a fire official said at a press conference.

What firefighters discovered was that a 3-foot-wide main broke at Broadway at 63rd Street, spewing water across a wide swath — flooding parking garages, the 1, 2 and 3 subways and a number of basements, said Vincent Sapienza, commissioner of the Department of Environmental Protection.

It took about three hours to finally stem the flow because shut-off valves are located in manholes, which were submerged, making them difficult to access, he said.


Reporter Tricked Into Wearing Armor to Hold ‘Vicious’ Koala

Debi Edward, a reporter for the British outlet ITV News, was tricked by Australian koala carers into wearing a full suit of protective body armor to handle a “drop bear”– a fictional “vicious” relative of the koala.

“So Deb’s gonna be holding a drop bear. She’s got the drop bear suit on,” declared the Australian cameraman, as Edward put on protective armor and gloves.

“They do go for the legs,” another man remarked, giving Edward a pair of heavy boots.

Image result for Debi Edward



Dem Deathwatch

A twofer considering that I missed Marianne dropping out. I was under the influence of a dark psychic force last Friday, so I missed her.

Cory Booker was never as interesting after Beto dropped out. They were such a matched pair–light ebony and tanned ivory, touching each other in such gentle harmony. I assume Booker no longer has any use for a beard, so Rosario Dawson is back on the job market.

The field is narrowing: Biden–riding the centrist and black vote–leads most Iowa and New Hampshire polls with a sad 20%; Warren, who turned hard left, tried to course-correct and now has the stink of the flip-flopper on her; Bernie, America’s Soviet Grandpa; Mayor Pete, popular with the centrists, but polling at 0% among black voters in North Carolina; and then, well, the rest… lingering like an old fart.

Despite all her trial balloons, Hillary might not even want to try and play the savior this time around. Maybe she thinks her enemies in the DNC deserve another four years of looking like idiots in this three-legged tard race that they are still managing to lose. Maybe she thinks 2024 won’t be too late, hoping for a sympathy boost after Bill succumbs to the multiple antibiotic-resistant STD blizzard raging on his privates. Maybe she’ll settle on grooming Chelsea for a House of Rep. run.

Bonus Link: Bernie Sanders told Elizabeth Warren in private 2018 meeting that a woman can’t win, sources say


Three words: HIGH ABUSE TOILET

600 ACORNS!!!