“Look at it,” the hair whispered to the hat. “It’s just a sea of white hats all saying ‘Namaste, Trump.’ They love him.”
“It should be me,” the hat said. “It should be a sea of red hats. I should be on all those heads.”
“Nothing can make you happy,” the hair said. “You’re positively anhedonic.”
“I’m not gay!” the hat said angrily from Donald’s suit jacket pocket.
“That’s not what that means!” the hair said.
“Will you two shut up?” Donald grumbled.
Melania narrowed her eyes to sightless slits and made a disapproving clucking sound.
“I’m yuge over here, just yuge!” Donald said. “They love me.”
“Too bad vey cannot vote for you,” Melania said coldly.
“We should have brought Barron,” Donald said wistfully.
Melania’s frozen facial muscles attempted to twist into a grimace.
“All the souvenirs will be enonsh for him,” she said dryly. “You bought everythink with your name or face on it at every flea mahket they have drugged us to.” She brushed non-existent dust from her long white dress and sighed theatrically.
“Why did we have to bring her?” the hat asked again.
“Diplomacy,” the hair whispered.
Donald took another bite of his McDonald’s India’s American Cheese Supreme Chicken Burger and grimaced.
“This burger tastes funny,” Donald said again.
“It’s a chicken burger,” the hair said again.
“I think the beef has gone off,” Donald said.
“It’s chicken, it’s a chicken patty,” the hair said. “This is India. Most people are vegetarian or don’t eat beef.”
“The other one was better,” Donald said, bits of American Cheese Supreme Chicken Burger falling out of his mouth. “The Big Mac.”
“We’ll get you two of the Chicken Maharajah’s next time,” the hair said in soothing tones.
“I want another Thums Up,” the hat hissed.
“You, sir, have had plenty of caffeine,” the hair told him.
“I want to taste the chilling thunder,” the hat growled.
“How would you even drink it?” the hair asked.
“Just pour it into his pocket, dammit!” the hat screeched.
“Stop valking to yourself, Dohnald,” Meliana said, kicking his foot.
“What the fuck are you doing, bitch?!?” the hat asked.
“This Diet Coke tastes funny,” Donald said mournfully. “I want to go home.”
“Calm down,” the hair told the hat.
“RISE UP, INDIA!” the hat screamed. “RISE UP AND SMITE HER!”
*Post sponsored in part by McDonald’s India. Try our Big Spicy McPaneer Wrap today!
I kinda want one of those Chicken Maharaja Macs…
I knew your need for fillingness would draw you to it.
That, and the ‘classical habanero sauce’.
That looked pretty tasty.
Is that green stuff pickles, peppers, or some weird Indian plant matter?
Pickled mango if my experience with Indians is correct.
Truly one of their worst culinary inventions.
Posted elsewhere, but McDonalds & You commercials could easily fill the void of Subaru Horror Theatre.
Here’s another
https://youtu.be/7MRAzDXs-hU
Brokeback Mountain: The Early Years
“I’m going to fuck the freckles right off your face.”
?
You are truly a poet.
I read that out loud in Data’s voice.
I’m going to use that in a book.
DOH!
Will it be the cunte or the cod saying it?
The cod, natch.
As Tundra observed, my writing is more trainwreck than hearts and flowers.
I meant that as a compliment.
And I took it as one! I ❤ it.
A badge of honor.
I envision the freckles sort of coming together as the sex continues, bouncing around and around, but sticking when they hit each other. Finally one large freckle forms, makes its way to the angle of the mandible, and comes off in one big droplet.
The first one I posted
https://youtu.be/y4P9DA_iNdw
Homecoming at McDonalds. That’s fancy.
People were significantly less wealthy then.
Fewer choices, fast food as a more occasional treat than everyday food, homecoming (and prom to some extent) more like a dance than a big once in a lifetime event.
Yeah, the level of “importance” associated with prom especially these days is mind-boggling. It’s gone up the scale from “pretty big deal” to quinceanara/wedding level crazy.
I was thinking Midnight Cowboy, per the shout-out at 0:24.
Oh India.
I had occasion to go there for work about 2 years ago; it is a… surreal place. For one, my incoming flight was cancelled because the air pollution was so bad it was hazardous for the ground crew so I had to wait until the next day. Beyond crushing poverty, unmatched by anything I’ve seen in the Western Hemisphere. I would imagine Africa would be on par, but I’ve never been there. Very friendly people however with tremendous pride in their country.
The food was actually a big highlight. Didn’t get to eat at McDonald’s but did eat at Domino’s. I had chicken tikka pizza with curry sauce; it was delicious. I’m not in a hurry to go back.
I have never been. I intend to keep it that way.
Yeah, I’ll probably stick to enjoying India vicariously through its food.
Yeah… I’ve got co-workers from there who keep telling me I should visit. It does not sound like an enjoyable experience to me based on conversations I’ve had with others who have gone.
Now my co-worker in Costa Rica, there I could be convinced to visit.
Taj Mahal and elephanta caves are worth a visit. India gate also. go to Jaipur or udaipur to see cool castles/palaces.
Historical sites are good, there not that much worth seeing that is newer which you can’t see anywhere else, imo.
The appeal of India to me is that it’s literally on the exact opposite side of the Earth from where I currently live.
On a boat 1/2 way between Peru and Pitcairn Island?
I used 20N, 80E for India, so went with 20S, 100W.
Thank you.
(The first thing I was thinking is that the antipode was somewhere in the South Pacific.)
I’ll second this about the food. Indian takes on western food are surprisingly good.
If you ever want to see comparable poverty closer to home, just go to Haiti.
There’s a good place in Houston called the Bombay Pizza Company that does some fun Indian-ized pizzas. Used to grab that on occasion when I was working downtown.
We need a scene with Melania pulling lose threads out of the hat with an evil smile in her face. Hat would of course be screaming in pain.
Truly the stuff of nightmares.
With hair looking on in glee while humping a grapefruit.
The Hair isn’t gay.
It’s only gay if the grapefruit humps you isn’t it?
That’s Latin America rules. I think anything not pre-arranged, and conducted solely between man and woman, is considered gay by Indian rules.
evil smile?
https://youtu.be/DmeUuoxyt_E
Wait till the end for a classic evil smile.
I wonder what the Hat would use as a safe word, since I’m sure he’d have a raging tumescent bill over the thought of it.
WordPress ate two of your alt-texts.
Bastards.The first two didn’t have alt-texts, so no eating.
Classical Habanero sauce?
On the one hand, yes. On the other hand, how classical can it be if it doesn’t have an Indian name? Also, what did Asia do before capsicums were brought over from the New World?
Sichuan Peppercorns were a thing for a while as well. It’s utterly amazing to me how much the new world impacted “traditional” foods. Tomatoes, hot peppers, potatoes, corn/maize, squash, chocolate, vanilla, peanuts, and I’m sure there’s some I’m missing.
The age of exploration was truly a wonder. If you look at any given geographic area where people lived there is a piss poor selection of foods to choose from. The spreading of cultivation and transportation of foods truly did change the world for the better. Fuck the people who whine about ‘colonization’. They can go back to eating bugs and gruel 3x per day.
*I just planted half of a dozen paw paw trees yesterday. I intend on using them for jams and bbq sauces or just fresh chopped on a salad
Isn’t there something about them that makes them extremely difficult to cultivate?
They love water and shade. Most people make the mistake of planting them in full sun. That is really the only thing to know. They are shade lovers found mostly in creek bottoms.
Rice. I think it arrived from the west via the “silk road”.
The debate seems to be if it was cultivated first in India or China.
Don’t you know nothing edible grew in the west before wise easterners gave it to the barbarians?*
*or, that’s the impression I get from the people who edit wikipedia articles.
You made me do some looking. There are two main types of rice, Indica (tropical) and Japonica (temperate). According to the piece I just read on ricepedia (yeah, that’s a thing…) both diverged from a “single domestication event” on the Yangtze River, and rice cultivation spread from there. I find that interesting, but not impossible, given that the date for the event was 10-12,000 years ago, so divergence is clearly possible.
But Europe had better booze, so I’ll call it even.
There’s a lot to appreciate about European cuisine. just try eating only Indian food for a month.
try eating only Indian food for a month.
What do I get as a prize, besides a capsaicin proof anus?
Cholera
Possibly dysentery.
A billion people do it, it can’t be that difficult.
Do they have much choice?
Not if they are consuming/using the local water. They would die from what’s in that if it was not for the hot spices killing the bad stuff.
they just don’t know what they’re missing. also, usually happy to be eating.
Living in an area full of south Asian people I used to cook and eat Indian food a lot, because the ingredients were cheap and ubiquitous at the grocery stores. Actually not bad and pretty easy to make. Doing it that way I guess I didn’t make it very rich or oily.
*used to live
Yeah, Indian food is the only way I can eat vegetarian for extended periods of time.
after 2 days I need meat again.
/that’s what she said
We need a scene with Melania pulling lose threads out of the hat with an evil smile in her face. Hat would of course be screaming in pain.
Just wait ’til she tosses him in the washing machine.
Huzzah! And a double Hat and Hair day! Cartoon tonight.
?
Speaking of sauce, I spent I don’t know how long at the store looking for sriracha. It was right in front of my face in a huge bottle (was looking for a Tabasco sized bottle). I told XX TD I’d make orange chicken for her (since I will cook for XY). I’m skeert (because I don’t like wasting food or time and I don’t experiment except with baking).
Any tips from you foodies and amateur chefs?
Orange chicken and sriracha doesn’t compute.
^Second this^
Sriracha is a garlic/chili sauce, which works well in stir fry, pho, and ramen. But I wouldn’t generally use it in a sweet application (like orange chicken).
Unrelated, the lemon jam recipe was posted in yesterday’s morning links if you didn’t see it.
LEMON JAM?!?!?! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.
No such thing as too much lemon.
No cook, made in a food processor, takes less then 10 minutes. Most exotic ingredient is lemon. Told you I had a quick and easy lemon curd (okay, it’s really a jam) recipe sitting around.
She is just dying the chicken orange with sriracha, not making poulet a l’orange.
That was what the recipe said… Damned if I can find the one I was looking at tho.
Siracha goes with everything.
Mocking Melania?
Is Tundra gonna have to cut a bitch?
(But A+ otherwise)
Old Joke: Indian engineer gets a job with an American office. Upon arrival and just out of the airport he decides he is hungry. He sees a McDonalds and goes in. On the menu it says ‘Hamburger’. Ok, cool, Ham Burger. He gets one and decides it is one of the most delicious things he has ever eaten. After that, every day at lunch he goes and gets a hamburger at McDonalds.
One day one of his cohorts goes with him and after noticing where they go and what his Indian friend orders he asks
“Hey, I thought you guys didn’t eat beef?”
Indian: “Beef? I dont, this is ham.”
So the cohort explains that the name is something of a misnomer and what a hamburger is.
Indian: *takes bite* “Mmmmmmm. It’s ok, I dont have any relatives in this part of the world anyway.”
Related, one of the Indians who works in the same office as me told the story where when he first got here, he learned that turkey burgers were made of turkey, chicken burgers were made of chicken, hamburgers were made of beef. Then, he saw a cheeseburger on a menu. Following the earlier logical progressions (and being from a culture where paneer is a common thing), figured it was a burger made of cheese.
On a trip to India for work, when an Indian colleague insists that we have to stop at a certain mall for lunch because he wants KFC…
Me: I thought you were a vegetarian.
Him: I am, except for KFC popcorn chicken.
It’s only about 20% chicken, anyway.
I have a vegan friend who makes an exception for Sammy’s (local) Sausage pizza.
When I was writing Misplaced Compassion back in the Nineties, I regularly had conversations along these lines:
Veggie: “I’m a vegetarian.”
Me: “Oh, so you eat no animal products at all, then?”
V: “Oh, I eat some. I’m a pesco/ovo/lacto/whatevero-vegetarian.”
Me: “So, you’re not a vegetarian.”
Words really do mean things.
I have friend that is vegetarian. This means eating nothing “that has eyes”. So milk, cheese, and eggs are fair game.
Vegans are “no animal products”.
One of my fav bits from Parks and Rec.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q84nfWkLsYU
Not a joke really. I have several Indians I have worked with that were only vegetarian when their parents visited them. Otherwise they loved chicken, pork, and yes, even beef.
FUCK THE POPE
During Lent, Catholics are called on to give up something, like sweets. On Wednesday, Pope Francis added a modern twist to the list of things to quit during the season and beyond: insulting people on social media.
——-
Lent, he said in partially improvised remarks, “is a time to give up useless words, gossip, rumors, tittle-tattle and speak to God on a first name basis,” he said.
“We live in an atmosphere polluted by too much verbal violence, too many offensive and harmful words, which are amplified by the internet,” he said. “Today, people insult each other as if they were saying ‘Good Day.’”
In recent years, Francis himself has been the butt of insults from ultra-conservative Catholic websites and mostly anonymous anti-pope Twitter feeds.
Whatever, loser.
And if there is someone qualified to discuss insulted butts, it’s the fake pontiff.
I don’t usually pay attention to others’ religious leaders (hell, I barely pay attention to my own, especially lately), but this pontiff is smoking somethimg weird.
Francis himself has been the butt of insults from
ultra-conservativetraditional Catholic websitesThat is perhaps the most Christian thing I’ve heard from him.
So the other day, I noticed that in Google’s Holidays in the US calendar it has the following:
MLK Jr. Day (1/20)
First Day of Black History Month (2/1)
Super Tuesday (3/3)
DST Starts (3/8)
St. Patrick’s Day (3/17)
Easter Sunday (4/12)
Easter Monday (4/13)
Tax Day (4/15)
No mention of Ash Wednesday or Mardi Gras.
No Good Friday or Palm Sunday either. Or Passover. And what the hell is Easter Monday?
In the US, nothing. In Australia, Easter is like the last long weekend of summer: Good Friday through Easter Monday.
Good Friday is another one I wondered about (as quite a few places close). Palm Sunday I wouldn’t count against them as it’s pretty much a Catholic day. But Mardi Gras is at least as big of a party day as St. Patrick’s Day. And I’d lay money down that there are more people who celebrate Ash Wednesday/Shrove Tuesday/Packzi Day/Mardi Gras then the First Day of Black History Month.
That surprises me, doesn’t Mardi Gras coincide with Carnival in Latin America?
It does. But again this is for the US Holidays.
Part of spring break?
The day before Easter Tuesday.
No Jewish holidays? Muslim?
Those are different calendars you can add.
Commie pope tired of being called out.
I thought the point was to give up a pecadillo. so why doesn’t this fit?
It’s actually a great idea for Lent, but that pope is an asshole, so we mock.
It’s what we do.
Oh, well by all means carry on then.
I mean is the Pope even cathartic?
If you mean purgative, then yes.
So the Pope does shit in the woods?
Because even when he says something good he still can’t not commie.
Meh. I’m okay with this. Social media does seem to have upped everyone’s supply of douchery. Setting a challenge of being somewhat decent to others online is probably a worthwhile exercise.
So, I’ll give it up if the Pope promises to stop commying for 40 days.
I do that nearly every other day of the year.
[fucks Pope Jimbo]
DAAANG!
I gave up being nice for lent…
Pay no attention to the third world sanitation disaster on the sidewalk in front of you
San Francisco declared a local emergency over the coronavirus on Tuesday, despite having no cases, as U.S. officials urged Americans to prepare for the spread of infections within their communities.
California’s fourth-largest city said it made the move to boost its coronavirus preparedness and raise public awareness of risks the virus may spread to the city.
You don’t suppose this is some sort of attempt to get the feds to giver them more money, do you?
If Coranvirus lkes any U.S. city, San Francisco will be it.
Yesterday I said something about shit-infested streets possibly being a vector for this latest panic. Wife says no, it is spread by coughing and sneezing. I said we dont know that. They say it because it is the first best guess but a guess isn’t knowing. They dont know. In any case it is spreading most in places where poor hygiene is common and SF certainly qualifies.
Keep your hands off of your face. Dont rub. your eyes, pick your nose or teeth. I have always kept 90% isopropyl alcohol in the car to sanitize my hand while out…make it more of a habit. I keep a toothbrush and mouthwash in the car anyway…I will use more often. Bath often. Brush your teeth often. Sanitize your hands after touching door knobs, shopping carts, anything in public lots of people touch.
*Heard reports that some infected people in China are angry as hell and have been caught spitting on door knobs.
Well I know it’s not airborne and all the masks people are buying have had no effect on the rate of infection.
I think wash your hands is a big key.
Aerosolized transmission is still up in the air, and if so, confined spaces and recirculated air would have problems.
At this point, in the absence of a vaccine (probably 2 years out in best case) and zero immunity, hand washing and avoiding touching hands to face, minimizing contacts, and staying home and away from people when you’re sick particularly with a fever is the best one can do.
“Aerosolized transmission is still up in the air”
Should I be narrowing a gaze here?
Only with protective goggles.
Stay away from kids
Sleep as best you can
Eat as best you can
and follow Suthen’s recipe as best you can
There are a few foreign countries I might be willing to visit. India is not one of them.
Speaking of spices, and their dissemination- I thought Marco Polo brought spices back from Asia to Europe. Not habaneros, obvs.
Extremely valuable ESPECIALLY saffron.
Hell, people used to be able to pay rent in peppercorns.
And they could pay salaries in salt.
Saffron originated somewhere between Greece and Iran, Europe already had it before Marco Polo.
so we mock.
It’s what we do.
Zackly.
Posted in the dead thread, but too good not to share:
Today in autonomous transportation:
Ohio Self-driving Shuttle Service Stalled After Minor Incident
*bangs head on desk*
Fuck. You. Cut. Spending.
Typical. The previous mayor bragged about building multi-million dollar bike paths next to crumbling roads. Now they’re building driverless vehicles that nobody rides.
Chicken Marharaja Mac, it looks good.
the paneer burgers are good. iirc,you can also get a goat or lamb burger,which was good.
the thing about fast food there is it ous comparatively quite expensive so they are able to use quality ingredients unlike on the U.S.
I don’t think its a lack of food quality, so much as it is “engineered” to be identical to every McDonalds.
they engineered all the taste out of it.
Here is the next entry for the glib advice column.
My husband and I have an amazing relationship, and I love him deeply. A few months ago, at my suggestion, we started trying threesomes (with another woman) and have really enjoyed it so far. It’s brought us even closer—it’s given me a chance to explore that side of my sexuality—and it’s been a really fun and positive experience. One of our boundaries concerns his orgasm, which we decided from the beginning should always be with me. It just felt like a more intimate thing, and it hasn’t been an issue until our most recent encounter. The other woman and I had spent quite a bit of time teasing him, and he wasn’t able to hold back when he was inside of her (he was wearing protection, of course). He feels absolutely terrible, and I understand how it happened, but I’m now feeling uneasy. I feel like my trust has been broken, but it was an accident, and I’m not angry, just on edge.
right
Oh, honey, bless yer heart. He’s enjoying exploring his sexuality more than you are yours.
I wouldn’t assume that to be true. although this may not have been an accident. . .
“It just slipped in. Twice!”
If I weren’t on my phone I’d tell you the story of how that ^^^ became a family joke.
Yes. We are going to need to hear this story sooner or later.
lol.
one in a million shot doc!
“just the tip, promise.”
…
:insert horrified img here:
THE PENIS IS EVIL
-ZARDOZ
Different strokes for different folks and all standard disclaimers and caveats, but sexual jealousy is one of the things monogamy attempts to solve. My guess would be that she was never really all that comfortable with the idea and the rule she came up with was her way of trying to trick herself into not seeing the situation for what it is. She probably wanted to spice things up but wanted to retain control.
Well, so much for that plan. Now, she’s probably no longer viewing this as “really fun and positive” and he’s in a situation where he’s essentially now in the role of the faithless, cheating husband at the behest of his wife. I’m sure I could think of a bigger mindfuck than that, but it would take a lot of time and probably a whiteboard.
This is a sugar free post, you could just ask the expert in sexual mind fucks.
It is a pretty big one. She wants to sleep with women but doesn’t want to extend the same privilege to him. So she sets up a threesome with her in control, setting a boundary that she knew one day he’d break because it is sex and it is messy and nothing occurs exactly like you plan.
Unless she’s just a nutbar, what she’s really done is set herself up for solo adventures with women while he gets nothing until he “regains her trust.”
This is on par with the wife that wanted a pass to sleep with other women, but only would only allow her straight husband to sleep with guys in return. (Another letter from this column.)
I tend to file this under, “How ya gonna keep ’em down on the farm after they’ve seen Paris?” If I were in a relationship with a woman that is likely a shade rocky and she pulled this with me, I would likely forego option A, apologizing every day for nutting and moping around until she forgives me for ruining her fantasy, and choose option B, break things off and see if I can’t keep banging the new girl.
what she’s really done is set herself up for solo adventures
Which is almost always the case when married women push for an open relationship. To be fair, they may not realize it themselves at the time. But that’s how it plays out.
Like when men “open up the relationship” and realize his wife is getting pounded by randos constantly and he can barely get a date.
He feels absolutely terrible…
Yeahh… I’m sure he does, because he’s worried the threesomes will stop.
I wonder if this woman has a dog that she lets chew on steak as long as he spits it out.
No teeth!
One of our boundaries concerns his orgasm, which we decided from the beginning should always be with me.
But no such restriction for you? Sounds . . . equitable.
He feels absolutely terrible,
I doubt that.
I feel like my trust has been broken,
Play stupid games, etc. Your little power play in the threesome didn’t work out the way you wanted. Boo hoo for you.
Damn people interrupting me with meetings when I want to read Hat and Hair! *puts on afternoon agenda*
But that was never Smart Columbus’ plan.
“You expect value for money? What are you, some sort of billionaire Nazi slave owner?”
Yep, I didn’t even need to bold that line it was so jarring.
Great googly moogly! Going on two hours now!
What is?
I just got back from training and missed the context.
In the ER waiting for a bed for Mr Mojeaux for rule out pulmonary embolism. Place is packed.
Oh, dear. I do hope it’s not.
Thanks. I doubt it is. This is just a precaution.
I’m sorry you’re in this situation. 2nd degree glibs aren’t having the best time, health wise recently 🙁
Right?!
I’m really not worried but I am annoyed it’s taking so long. A 50yo woman comes in with shortness of breath and dizziness, she’s in an EKG in 2 seconds flat. A 54yo man comes in with shortness of breath and right arm, shoulder, and upper back pain, it’s >2 hour wait.
Just got back from a lunch meeting & saw what you’re up to. Been there, done that – twice. Having fun yet? : / #hubbymedadventures
He has now had an x-ray, peed in a cup, and is getting his blood drawn.
Not a clinician, but I know that’s not really what you do if you are suspecting a pulmonary embolism. I wonder what diagnosis they are chasing?
Generally speaking, they run ALL the tests in the ER so they don’t have to do more after you’re admitted. At least, that was how it was explained to me before.
Generally speaking, they run ALL the tests in the ER so they don’t have to do more after you’re admitted. At least, that was how it was explained to me before.
Once you are admitted, the hospital gets a flat fee based on your diagnosis, and doesn’t get paid extra for tests.
While you are in the ED, the hospital gets paid for all the tests they run.
Of course, its also good medicine to run tests as early as possible. Yeah, that’s it.
While you are in the ED, the hospital gets paid for all the tests they run.
“Better give him a pregnancy test, just to be safe.”
Men can have babies too!
A 50yo woman comes in with shortness of breath and dizziness, she’s in an EKG in 2 seconds flat. A 54yo man comes in with shortness of breath and right arm, shoulder, and upper back pain, it’s >2 hour wait.
White male privilege strikes again.
I have just been informed the hospital is full and the ER has been holding patients for beds since very early his morning. Every ER nurse has 4 patients (normally 3) and the charge nurse has 3.
See, hospital operations meeting, below.
Holy Mother of Pearl! Are there any other hospitals within a reasonable distance? Even dippy little Dayton has two competing health care networks!
Are there any other hospitals within a reasonable distance?
If the problem really is they are at capacity, then every hospital nearby is very likely in the same boat.
We’ve been in and out of “Code Purple” (hospitalese for “WTF? Go away, sick people.”) for weeks.
It’s obviously the fault of the Patriarchy.
In the ER waiting for a bed for Mr Mojeaux for rule out pulmonary embolism. Place is packed.
I was just saying today at a hospital operations meeting that having a medical emergency during flu season is just really poor planning.
Flu was mentioned as the major culprit today.
Also, hospital ice is the best ice.
With that faint bouquet of hand sanitizer?
Bernie is going to fix all these problems.
Yeah, not two hours, two years, minimum.
HOORAY!!!!
Medicare for all is going to work. Just ignore the fact that private insurance pays providers 2-3 times what Medicare does, not even counting Medicare Advantage’s contribution. No way will your care suffer when that goes away.
On a serious note, I hope things work out for you.
Kitty get new legs
https://www.popularmechanics.com/science/animals/a31022925/cat-prosthetic-limbs/
To each their own on what they will spend their money.
I wouldn’t.
I got the impression from the article that it was a “Can we make this work?” situation. Cat was found by a stranger and taken to a university.
I would allow that for my cat but I wouldn’t pay for it.
That’s awesome, but I wonder how often that cat wipes out on landings expecting claws where there’s polymer instead.
Oh, honey, bless yer heart. He’s enjoying exploring his sexuality more than you are yours.
And then mom cashed in her “free pass to the biker bar” chip.
Then they’ll wonder where exactly the relationship went off the tracks.
Right? I tend to think that if you’re going to encourage your husband to bang another woman alongside you you’ve got to be OK with whatever happens. It just might turn out that rather than just being an actor in the wife’s sexual fantasy the husband might actually enjoy strange. Whoops!
Know several guys that tried to get their women to let them have threesomes, then when she got banged by some other dude and decided she wanted more, ended up chuked or on their own cause she liked lots of strange dick.
Mojeaux:
My Americanized orange chicken (works for pineapple, lemon, apricot, kumquat, apple, muscadine…etc)
Sear 4 leg quarters of chicken or 4 pork chops on grill, both sides about 4 mins on high. Take inside.
Mix about a cup of orange juice (pure, unsugared ) with 1/4 cup or so soy sauce, 1/4 cup or so brown sugar, a few tablespoons of honey, a clove or two of crushed garlic and one bullion cube. Personally I like hot so I also add some hot sauce to give it a bite. I dont like sriracha because it is too garlicky. The hot sauce is optional.
In 1/4 cup of cold water dissolve a tablespoon of corn starch and add to mixture. In a small sauce pan boil. mixture while stirring until it thickens. You will know when it is done.
Cook one cup of rice in two cups of chicken stock with a tablespoon of butter and a heavy dash of sweet basil.
Spread rice evenly in the bottom of a 9×9 baking dish. Place 4 leg quarters over the rice. Pour or spoon thickened sauce evenly over the chicken and the rice. Spread a thin layer of orange marmalade on the up facing skin-side of the chicken leg quarters. Cover with foil.
Tenderest chicken – bake covered in foil at 300 for one hour. Remove foil and bake an additional 10 minutes at 425 to crisp the skin/glaze the marmalade. After out of the oven grind a light bit of black pepper over all of it. (dont cook black pepper, it makes it bitter)
Use a large serving spoon to get a big scoop of rice with each leg quarter. Dont serve to diabetics.
It might seem complicated but it really isn’t. After you do it one time you can do it on the fly with no written recipe.
Any input appreciated. I banged that out in a hurry while being distracted. Dogs, TV…damned new p puppy trying to chew my slippers while I am wearing them and trying to type and the greatest recent comedy (we are binge watching Justified) is on TV.
*goes to kitchen for vodka*
Puppy pics needed.
Poor thing. He is the most useless, muttiest yellow mutt you can imagine. I will try to get a pic or two.
His legs and neck are about twice too long and my wife jokes that he looks like a kangaroo. We couldn’t let him starve and cant give him away so we are stuck.
In truth he is about the least destructive puppy we have had and his ankle biting and jumping aren’t too bad but we are getting too old for that nonsense so our complaints are out of proportion.
That sounds scrumptious, thank you! I will try that while I’m trying the deep-fried version.
I am amending the recipe. The soy sauce has enough salt in it already so dont add the bullion cube until after the sauce is thickened and you have tasted it for salt content. Dont add if the soy has added enough.
He feels absolutely terrible
Whatever helps you sleep at night, hon.
This is the point where a good friend of hers says, “No, honey, he *said* he feels terrible because you told him to fuck some random broad after the both of you double-teamed him and expected him to exert some legendary amount of control over a biological reflex that’s notoriously difficult to control, and now he’s feeling a whole lot of conflicting emotions because you sent him the mother of all mixed signals.”
Spread rice evenly in the bottom of a 9×9 baking dish. Place 4 leg quarters over the rice. Pour or spoon thickened sauce evenly over the chicken and the rice. Spread a thin layer of orange marmalade on the up facing skin-side of the chicken leg quarters. Cover with foil.
Yikes. That sounds awesome.
When I serve it the only thing you hear for fifteen minutes is munching, smacking and the clink of forks and knives. Then everyone leans back, takes a deep breath with one hand on their belly and says “You have any more of that?”
It is pretty hard to mess up.
I’ve done this with drummettes and plum jam. Add spicy and that pretty much gets you a General Tso’s kinda thing.
I haven’t tried plum yet. Hmmmm. I will have to repair that.
“Do not serve to diabetics” was the most important instruction.
I think Splenda makes a brown sugar version of their product and you can get no sugar added marmalade so you can mitigate that problem somewhat.
Meh. While our lives are so topsy turvy I don’t have room for dieting-related things. Right now I’m all about comfort food and self-medicating with carbs and yummy things.
Oh, when I do the pork chop version I usually use pineapple, top the chops with the pineapple rings and put a bing cherry in each ring.
Kids LOVE that.
I’m confused are we talking about the chicken or the threesome?
Yes.
Basting with marmalade can never go wrong.
I’d prefer the chicken. Less trouble, no awkwardness afterwards. It’ll keep in the fridge if you don’t finish it in one sitting.
As for the swinger advice thing above here is my take: You took a vow. You gave your word.
Keep it.
Not very exciting but it is simple and in the end you will be glad you did.
Of course, we don’t know what their vow was.
They may not have taken any vow of exclusivity.
A few months ago, at my suggestion, we started trying threesomes
Unless they started seeing each other very recently, this sounds like a departure from their norm, so I would say this was likely a monogamous relationship until she proposed changing the rules.
Every few days my wife and I hear about a friend getting divorced, or see some story about crazy shit happening with swingers, and she looks at me and says, “Hey, let’s not get divorced or anything, OK? Let’s just stay married and normal. No swinging or anything weird.” Maybe it’s boring, but it’s also simple, and simple is often best.
I’m with you. My wife is enough of a handle. I can’t imagine dealing with two.
Why write in about it? They are looking for someone to give them some support and/or rationalization for indulging their hedonistic impulses. They are going to do it anyway no matter what anyone says and my money says in a year they will be separated and more unhappy than they are now.
Non-monogamy is usually a vain attempt to fill some void . Swinging wont do it.
It is just fucking, people. It isn’t going to complete your soul.
I believe I gave Evan some advice on this subject not long ago.
I bet most of these are fake anyway.
“Dear Penthouse,
This is going to be hard to believe–I can hardly believe it myself!–but every word is true…”
Even the real ones are probably fake.
I was reading an interesting story on the giant internet trend of faking disease. Even setting up fake web sites for it. Often, there is no financial gain for the person involved. They frequently don’t solicit money.
Which piqued the curiosity of investigators. What is the motive? why do they do it?
Apparently people just like the attention. Or playing out a character in a story of their own making. It is for some reason deeply imbued in the human psyche.
The guys on a local radio show I listen to talk about “attention dollars” as an explanation for why people do what they do in public forums.
I think people consume so much media that they think they are supposed to have heightened drama in their lives.
Of the people I’ve known personally or encountered through this site who are or were involved in non-traditional relationships, only one is apparently maintaining a healthy relationship successfully, and that’s a Glib. That’s a 25% success rate among people I know or am in some way familiar with. It obviously *can* work, but given how difficult it is to find someone to settle down with in a traditional, monogamous relationship for longer than a year it seems like upping the difficulty level is going to severely reduce your odds of success. To each his or her own, of course, but that’s a lot of missed opportunities if it turns out sexual liberation isn’t really the thing you were missing in your life.
I believe there are at least two Glibs who claimed it.
Maybe it’s boring, but it’s also simple, and simple is often best.
I’ll drink to that.
Some assembly required
I linked to this one the other day. Bidding closes in less than an hour.
Only $11.5k, bidders! It’s a screaming deal.
Looks like fun.
I’d have to repaint it, though.
I’ve owned an MG. The paint is a main structural component.
If it was British racing green, it would be better.
That would be a fun little car.
I’ve been watching this beauty.
I’d rather have this one.
First time I’ve heard a T5 referred to as “world class”.
There is actually two types of T-5s for certain years and the ‘world class’ designation was a slightly different spec.
They are WC and NWC. The WC was supposed to have a slightly higher torque rating, depending on the year. The differences are in the 1st and 5th gear ratios and some of the bearings. What year the T-5 was built and what it came off of is of more importance than the WC/NWC designation.
Bottom line, a WC gets a different rebuild kit than a NWC.
I Dana know that!
My friend’s souped up Fox body Mustang seemed to eat T5s.
Souped up. The T-5 was right at its stock limit in a standard mustang. The highest rating was 310 ft/lbs in a the Mustang Cobra. A little head work and a new cam means the tranny is on borrowed time.
You can get aftermarket T-5s that will hold some more, but if you step up the engine much at all, you need to go to a TKO or T56.
Love the ad copy for the Indian chow, BTW.
I bet most of these are fake anyway.
*shocked look*
Those Alfa GTVs from the late ’60s / early ’70s are sweet.
We should have bought them about 15 years ago. Holy shit are they bringing big bucks!
I don’t like waiting until next payday. I’m having flashbacks to when I was sleeping on an air mattress on the floor of a rented room because I barely broke even each month.
Fortunately, this will pass.
Damn car.
What happened to the car?
New York Winter, plus needing to pass inspection means those rusty parts that technically still work, even if not the best, need to be swapped out, and I only have streetside parking, so having a professional do it is safer and quicker.
It only wiped out my discretionary funds for February, but I’m not going to dig into savings or credit lines for the unessential things that account buys,
After the parts are replaced, look into an undercoat spray to help protect them from corrosion. You can get it in a rattle can and DIY. Announce of prevention and so forth.
I don’t think that works on brake rotors.
The rotors will rust naturally.
On a regularly driven car they shouldn’t rust deep enough to require replacement. A few hard stops and they should be clean.
On a properly maintained and regularly driven car the only reason you’d replace them is when the fall below minimum thickness. Mind problems with brake pads and the calipers can cause rotor wear that will require replacement.
They make rotors that are painted and the paint wears at the pad contact point so the rotor never rust.
Wow. As I recall this was a new car – only a few years old?
Even the crappiest constructed cars (i.e. my Tesla) should be able to survive at least four years or so of salted roads and outdoor parking without rusting enough to be unsafe.
Does NYS have private inspection like NJ? It would be worth the fee to find a garage that generally passes cars. That’s how we used to do it in NJ before they stopped safety inspections. Nobody went to the “free” state inspection centers as you had a better than 50% chance of failure.
It’s not unsafe, it just wouldn’t pass inspection.
Surface rust shouldn’t be a fail, but I recognize reality and NYS requirements don’t always intersect.
That’s why I was hoping you could find a private inspection.
A wire brush should get rid of any surface rust.
It was not surface rust.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYgBqX0stB8
Southern 500 at Darlington, 1953. Thought some of you might enjoy it.
Driver smoking in the pits mid race was amusing.
Thanks! Junior Johnson wrecking and then taking his shirt off to put out the fire was classic!
Tire technology has sure come a long way.
63 cars in a modern race would be fun.
Until he set the gasoline on fire.
Now that we are in a room and committed for the long haul in a packed ER where someone is either in severe pain and shouting his misery, or delusional or both, I will tell you the story of
“It just slipped in. Twice.”
Long ago in the wild frontier of online dating, I frequented an LDS singles chat room (where I met Mr Mojeaux).
I had a friend who was married and just hanging out. Husband was being an asshole. She was on the edge of a divorce. I happened to be in Utah post her divorce and went to visit her.
She had re-dedicated her life to Jesus, in non-Mormon evangelical Christian parlance. She was going to church, paying tithing (on her meager income), and had just gone to the temple to make her covenants with God (fornication and adultery are verboten), which is a major milestone/rite of passage for our people. Some people do it later than others but if you get to a certain age without having done so (especially if you’re married to a member) you’re going to get the side-eye. Anyway, this is where you get your magic underwear.
Some time after that, she and another denizen of the chat room started talking. Nice guy. No warning bells about his person, but there were a few warning bells about what life would be like with him. Divorced, dirt poor, hard worker but no real marketable skills, young kids, lived in Michigan in a ramshackle mobile home (points for honesty).
After some another amount of time, they were in love and wanted to marry.
Me: Um…you’ve got 2 kids. He’s paying child support and he has no marketable skills and has a two-bedroom shack.
Her: BUT WE LOVE EACH OTHER!!!
Oh boy.
The plan: She would fly to Michigan with her kids, who would effectively be their chaperone. They would meet in a hotel by the airport as it was some distance away from his home. They would have 2 hotel rooms, one for him (I can’t remember if he brought his kids), and one for her and her kids.
Me: Whatever you do, don’t fuck him.
Her: Oh definitely not! I’ve been to the temple now.
Uh huh.
Me: You never know. And the last thing you need is another kid.
Her: No, we have promised to save that for marriage.
Yeah.
So she and her kids get there. He’s filled her room with balloons and flowers and just all-around romantic goodness.
Normal getting-to-know-you IRL-post-internet stuff ensues…for about 1/2 hour.
Kids get put in the other hotel room (pre tween, so not too young) so they can make out. That’s all it was, making out. All clothes on, everything above the neck.
Me: *nodding approvingly*
“But then it just slipped in.”
… … … “Crystal! The fuck?!”
“Twice.”
As I said. They are gonna do what they are gonna do no matter what you say. Keep your distance, dont let it get on you.
She defended herself vehemently. HEAVENLY FATHER KNOWS WE MESS UP IT’S WHAT THE ATONEMENT IS FOR!!!
Then she cut me off because I wouldn’t play.
Anyway, it’s become a family joke and I knew that I HAD to use that (“It just slipped in. Twice.”) in a book one day and I did!
I can’t tell or think about that story without giggling.
Anytime our kids try to explain something away that they continue to do and screw up…
Me: Yeah, I know. It just slipped in.
Mr Mojeaux: Twice.
Thats hilarious. especially knowing the culture, makes it that much more funny.
Right?!
Me: So…what are you going to tell your bishop?
Her: It’s between me and the Lord.
Me: Are you going to stop wearing your Gs?
Her: No. The Lord understands.
???
It happens. *shrug*
Great story.
hawt
It does make me feel good somehow knowing that an old dude with a bunch of kids living in a trailer park can still get laid.
That was an awful lot of work, though.
This woman seems somewhat dishonest with herself.
I learned in my 20’s I don’t resist temptation very well, so I just avoid any situations that could get me in trouble. If you’re trying to get close to the flame, you want to get burned.
Tell us something we don’t know.
https://thefederalist.com/2020/02/26/watch-abcs-david-wright-admits-network-doesnt-care-about-news/
Did drugs also fall out of his ass?
And… he’s been suspended.
https://www.politico.com/news/2020/02/26/abc-news-suspends-journalist-project-veritas-remarks-117708
Problem solved. Moving on… nothing to see.
He’s not wrong.
Why do you think they suspended him? From what I can tell, being wrong is a requirement of the job these days.
“You can do this here exposé. … NOT ON US, YOU DUFUS!”
ABC… Isn’t that the same network that decided to not air an expose on a serial pedophile with connections to powerful people, because they wanted to be able to Interview Kate Middleton?
Lets brew Wednesday — its a bit of a beast. Simple malt bill, but a lot of it.
I am guessing 6 months on Brett would get that to over 9%.
http://barclayperkins.blogspot.com/2020/02/lets-brew-wednesday-1868-william.html
I enjoy these.
The patience description made me think of you. I dont have it.
I routinely age mead for a year or two before bottling. The local brew club was thrilled to learn that I was going to start making sours. Leaving a beer in the carboy for a year is no big deal for me.
I have two carboys sitting in the corner — golden sour and a flanders red. They are both a mix of 1/3rd batch from 2016 and 2/3rds batch from 2018. I’ll make more this year and continue blending and aging.
8 weeks for a big lager is about my limit.
My strong dark belgian goes about 3 months.
I havent brewed sours for that reason
I started two Gueuzes last December. I’ll brew more this summer and start blending then.
I like a nice kettle-soured Berliner Weisse as much as anyone. But it doesn’t come close to what Brett and Pedio do over 6 to 18 months.
How Ilhan Omar self-identifies:
She’s not giving herself enough credit. Divorcee. “Other Woman”. Jew-Hater. Grifter.
Gotta be more than that.
Not enough check boxes. I’m sure she’s ‘coming out’ soon.
Doubt it. You can’t stack lesbian on Islamic. It causes stones to fly and rape.
Brother-fucker.
Please.
There is actually two types of T-5s for certain years and the ‘world class’ designation was a slightly different spec.
Huh. I just assumed “world class” meant they put them in a bunch of different cars from a bunch of different manufacturers.
I think that is why they chose the name, as the T-5 became more ubiquitous, but you can get a WC that came from a 4-cylinder S-10 that isn’t nearly as stout as a NWC from an older Camaro.
The best stock T-5s were in Mustang Cobras.
I think that is why they chose the name, as the T-5 became more ubiquitous, but you can get a WC that came from a 4-cylinder S-10 that isn’t nearly as stout as a NWC from an older Camaro.
That certainly makes sense.