ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ HAS BEEN ENJOYING HIS TIME OFF. ZARDOZ WENT HAT SHOPPING AT THE VORTEX HABERDASHERY, AND SELECTED QUITE A STUNNING NUMBER. I AM SURE THE CHOSEN ONES ARE SUITABLY IMPRESSED.
BUT THE CHOSEN ONES ARE HERE FOR LINKS, AND ADVICE, NOT TO PRAISE THE HEADWEAR OF ZARDOZ. NOT THAT ZARDOZ DOES NOT WELCOME PRAISE…
- ZARDOZ WAS PLEASED TO HEAR OF A LARGE CREATURE BARGING INTO A BRUTAL FILLED AREA…BUT DISAPPOINTED TO LEARN THERE WERE NO FATALITIES. LACK OF CLEANSING ALWAYS DISAPPOINTS.
- THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE FOR A PRIORITY? SHOULDN’T YOU BE CLEANSING CATALONIANS?
Q: I have been married to a wonderful man for 20 years. It has been a pretty good marriage. I have tolerated a few of his family members’ rudeness to me, although I have no problem speaking up when I need to, and my husband always defends me as well.
My father-in-law recently passed, and I adored him. For his wake, my two sisters-in-law made a slide show of his life with hundreds of family photos. There was not one single photo of my father-in-law and me. I feel it was the final straw. I have no more room in my heart and life for them. Am I being too sensitive? My husband hasn’t spoken to them since the funeral. I really need your advice on this.
A: ZARDOZ WOULD TAKE GREAT OFFENSE AT BEING DELETED FROM A CLEANSED CEREMONY! AND THUS, SO SHOULD YOU. THIS NEEDS TO BE ESCALATED TO ALL OUT WAR. ZARDOZ WILL SEND YOU SOME BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS TO ASSIST. ONCE THEY HAVE ARRIVED…GO FORTH, AND KILL!
IT MAY SEEM A BIT OF AN OVERREACTION TO AN ETIQUETTE BREACH, BUT “CLEANSE THEM ALL!” IS USUALLY THE CORRECT RESPONSE TO SUCH THINGS.
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
Q: I have been communicating with this woman that I work with. She is currently seeing a guy she’s been with for about four years. We have a clear connection and primal attraction, and have both discussed our feelings with each other. We communicate by texting. There is no communication through phone calls, for obvious reasons. Her man works for the same company but in a different building than we do. It’s clear to me that he isn’t good enough for her and doesn’t know how to elevate himself to her level.
I let her know that if they were to break up, I would want to give it a try, and she said the same. She contacts me when she wants and flirts, but it’s always at her convenience and not mine. We have “known” each other for about a year and a half now, and she claims she cares for me. My question to you is, how should I move this situation forward?
A: *SIGH* HOW MANY TIMES MUST ZARDOZ REPEAT THIS SELF-EVIDENT TRUTH? THE PENIS IS EVIL!
NOT ONLY ARE YOU EVIL, YOUR ARE TREACHEROUS AS WELL. SINCE YOU WANT TO PLOW IN ANOTHER BRUTAL’S FIELD, ZARDOZ HAS A SOLUTION FOR YOU…
ENJOY YOUR NEWFOUND OCCUPATION.
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.