“Biden! It’s Biden!’ the hair sang as he rolled around the Oval Office like a manic tumbleweed.
“We don’t know that yet,” the hat said grumpily.
“He can barely even talk! We are going to destroy him in the debates!” the hair said, ignoring him.
“I would rather have had Sanders,” the hat said. “I wanted to talk him into a heart attack.”
“He counted on young people to get out and vote!” the hair chortled.
“OK, yeah, that’s pretty fucking funny,” the hat said and barked out a series of short sharp laughs.
“You need to get the stick outta your ass,” the hair said, rolling to a stop near the credenza. “This is a good day. Celebrate!”
“I don’t like it, I don’t like it, I don’t like it!” the hat said, clenching himself into a pouty ball.
“Donald!” the hair called, “Tell this depressing bastard to cheer up!”
“I’m busy!” Donald answered from the Presidential Shitter.
“He made me do it in public,” the hat said. “In public! There are pictures of it online!”
Donald yelped from the Presidential Shitter and the hat and hair ignored it.
“It’s not so big a change, is it?” the hair asked, lashing out with wispy tendril to climb Donald’s chair to get to the surface of his desk.
“I’m not me no more,” the hat wailed.
“Guys?” Donald cried from the Shitter.
“It strikes at the core identity of my being,” the hat said.
“It’s just until after the election,” the har offered, scuttling sideways to his friend’s side.
“That’s, like, years from now!” the hat wailed.
“Seven months,” the hair said gently.
“You know how long that is in hat years?!?”
“Seven months?” the hair guessed, trying not to laugh.
“Guys?!?” Donald asked again, rising alarm in his voice.
The hat unclenched a bit as the hair rubbed along his crown stitching soothingly.
“GUYS!” Donald cried as he crashed into the Oval Office, nude, glistening, crying and shaking.
“GAH!” the hair screamed.
‘DONALD JOHN TRUMP, PUT ON YOUR PANTS!” the hat screamed.
Donald lurched toward the desk and they both recoiled.
“It hurts,” Donald said. “It hurts and burns and my pee-pee isn’t very happy at all.” Tears streamed from his blood-red eyes and he began to grind his penis against the edge of the desk. The smell of rubbing alcohol filled the room.
“What’s wrong with his eyes?” the hat asked.
“Donald,” the hair asked, “Did you put hand sanitizer in your eyes?”
“Only a little,” Donald moaned. “And all over my penis. It hurts.”
The hat made a gagging sound and backed off the desk and fell onto the floor.
“Not your penis!” the hair said. “I told you that.”
“A bunch got in my peehole,” Donald said miserably.
“Go take a shower!’ the hair ordered.
“But it’ll wash off all the hand sanitizer! I’ll get the Chinee goo!”
“Go! Shower! Now!” the hair said, pointing to the Shitter with a defiant sideburn. Donald closed a hand over his genitals and waddled quickly into the bathroom.
“Are you OK down there?” the hair asked after hearing the shower come on.
“Yeah,” the hat said. “But I’m still not happy. And if USA hat calls me KAG again, I’m going to unravel him.”
KAG is a bitch! MAGA motherfucker!
Also, man I wish my animating skills were as good as my visualization skills. You’d rule the world if I could project what I see in ma brain into other people’s heads.
Maintain American Greatness, Always?
That actually would have been clever, to keep the acronym and general design of the hat. Although it is a bit clunky.
Make America Great Always. This is why I should be paid more.
I can see yelling “MAGA” before whipping a Molotov cocktail into a crowd. I can’t see myself yelling “KAG”. Seems like some alien battle cry.
No, it’s the call of the accented drunkard looking for the keg.
“KAG! KAG!”
D’ya like kags?
…oh KEGS. Ya I like Kags.
Maybe something about kagels?
I’m a big fan of the kagels.
In my head, it sounds like a Jewish mom saying it.
“I’m not me no more,” the hat wailed.
Change is hard. Suck it up. Attack attack attack.
He is MAGA PRIME!
” pointing to the Shitter with a defiant sideburn.”
Mmmm.
How could Donald do that to the HAT?
Makes me question why i would want to support him.
Lolz
“He counted on young people to get out and vote!” the hair chortled.
The funniest line in the story.
Also, the best thing about Biden being the nom is that even if he wins, SF’s behind the scenes stories can continue. If the D’s had gone with someone sensible, that would have undercut the ability to make fun of the president, but as it stands now we are guaranteed 4 more years of humor, one way or another.
Untill they 25th amendment his ass and put Kamala in charge.
Well, look who wants to give the Subaru Horror Theater a run for its money.
The Hat and the Plugz meet the Doomcock of Doom!
A Warty Hugeman Choose-your-own-Adventure.
It is also a pop-up book. Spring-loaded.
The hat unclenched a bit as the hair rubbed along his crown stitching soothingly.
It’s a complicated relationship.
Bravo, SF. I’m laughing like an idiot.
Sorry to be OT so early, but Fox News is reporting Bernie is going to make a statement in his hometown in about 45 minutes.
He’s going to announce he’s in the market for a fourth house, oh and something about supporting Biden.
He’s going to endorse Biden, just like he endorsed Hillary. The guy is a total looser.
Man, I wish those two old men, Shrillary, and RBG would just up and die already.
He’s voting for Tulsi, like the Russhuns told him to. I’m going to bed.
Tulsi – Biden debate – I’d watch that.
DNC has already moved the goalposts to exclude her based on polling and delegates.
Nobody puts Tulsi in the corner, SugarFree!
No way is she getting on that stage with Biden. She smoked Kamala already what would she do to poor Joe?
Has Trump tweeted his support for the DNC blocking a woman of color because she would show how mentally unstable Joe Biden is? Because that would be epic trolling.
Biden will debate himself.
The sad thing is, would he even notice he was the only one?
“What have to do is” *mumbles incoherently* “wait, who stopped? Why am I stopping?”
Funny thing is, he’d probably lose.
Dude better not endorse Biden. I want to hear that he is going to continue to the convention or that he is running third party. This is likely his last hurrah.
running third party
The guy stumped for Hillary Clinton. He’s not going to stand up for himself.
“I have come to realize that Socialism is not the way forward. I regret my misdeeds and ask that you support the current president in the elections to come.”
“Capitalism for the win!”
*Bernie holding up vee for victory symbol with the pointer finger curled up.
Is that a white nationalist thing? Commies are globalist revolutionaries, I thought…
Apparently he is to “press on with campaign.”
Nice head fake. Here I was sure Donald’s sick had caught coronavirus.
speaking of corona was this covered? I was not around in the lynx
EXCLUSIVE:
For weeks, thousands of flu samples sat in Seattle as researchers sought to test and flag them for coronavirus. The C.D.C. wouldn’t allow it.
When testing did happen, it was too late. The virus was upon us.
https://twitter.com/ByMikeBaker/status/1237555003352469509
From the replies:
When the history of this epidemic is written we’ll find it started with a massive coverup by Donald Trump who suppressed testing for political reasons.
And they wonder why we call it #TrumpVirus
Remember when Trump said he “liked the numbers where they are”?
This is the greatest scandal in American history. Bar none. No exaggeration. The President’s administration tried to hid a pandemic bc he wanted the stock market to stay high because he wanted to get re-elected.
He killed people
this is unreal.
there was clearly a policy of ‘don’t test, don’t tell’ from the CDC.
everyone who touched this in the federal government needs to be fired, including the President who was the driver of this passive approach. The fish rots from the head.
So what is the official glib position: Did Donald kill Americans by forcing the CDC not to act?
“Government fouls up….ONLY MOAR GOVERNMENT CAN SAVE US!”
Cognitive dissonance can be fun!
Say Trump gave that order (yeah right). So the bureaucrats, just this once, decided to do what they were told? Pull the other one.
^^ Yup
← Dude, DU is that way.
Did Donald force the CDC not to act?
OT: I really enjoy listening to this kind of music, that has unfortunately been dubbed “Sovietwave”. Good stuff. But the comments on them show me why we are able to get a commie getting 30% of the DNC vote.
stuff like:
and
Say what you will, but the commies did a good job whitewashing the past in America.
People nostalgic for Hitler’s Germany are rightfully considered idiots. The same logic applies.
I enjoyed JOJO Rabbit.
Taika Waititi’s Hitler was pretty fucking hilarious.
Nice, will save for later.
Also – I am still glad I block Youtube comments.
Fox News is reporting Bernie is going to make a statement in his hometown in about 45 minutes.
He’s declaring war on the British?
He’s buying another house?
A winter home in Cuba?
“We begin bombing in five minutes.”
I feel like the Soviet outlook for the future (during the 80s) was much more optimistic compared to the pessimistic nature of American futurism.
I think “We will bury you!” was the high point of Soviet optimism.
Also- “the pessimistic nature of American futurism.”
WTFSRSLY?
I feel like that person probably was not alive in the 80’s.
Exactly. By the 80s, the Soviet space industry was close to dead. They could have no more sent a mission to Mars than a midwest chapter of the Rotary Club.
Hey! The Rochelle Rotary Rocket was totally going to make it to Mars!
By the 1970s, in the wake of British New Wave science fiction, there wasn’t much optimistic futurism left. It was when the takeover of science fiction as a straight white male genre began in earnest: Joanna Russ, Ursula K. Le Guin, John Varley, Octavia Butler, Samuel Delaney, Kate Wilhelm. Hard science gave way to soft and nuclear paranoia sank into a deep pessimism about the future.
Which opened the path for the hard sf guys like Greg Bear and the cyberpunks.
Yup. I’ve read a number of articles calling cyperpunk a “reactionary backlash” to 70s soft science fiction. [eyeroll]
Also- “the pessimistic nature of American futurism.”
To be fair, look at a lot of Hollywood movies about the future.
He’s buying another house?
Maybe he and the missus are opening a School of Socialist Thought and Philosophy.
Is that the new name for “The center for kids who cant read good and want to learn how to do other stuff good too”
My daughter just told me that the University of Wisconsin announced they are canceling all face-to-face classes and emptying the dorms until April 19.
Obligatory?
Sorry man, going OT, this is well worth watching
NOT GOOD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZFhjMQrVts
Local radio dude has Osterholm on frequently. Always scares the shit out of me.
I’ll second your recommendation. Helpful stuff.
If what he’s saying about Italy already being in a triage situation where they’re just deciding if someone is salvageable is true, that’s truly frightening.
And since it appears that people are able to transmit well before showing symptoms…
What’s truly disturbing is they only had a handful of cases 3 weeks ago.
Yes
What Osterholm is saying is that the viral load of people who have just become symptomatic is 10,000 times that of SARs and that it is transmissible from respiration.
In other words, by the time a school system becomes aware of a case, it’s far, far too late.
I’m seriously considering whether or not we just pull the kids from school for the rest of the year.
If he’s right and ultimately there are 100 million cases, will it really matter?
Social Security will be solvent for a while longer?
If it’s 100M concentrated at a peak or spread down to a manageable level impacts the mortality and complications rate (where medical care can have a positive outcome).
Obviously not that many fatalities, but the objective changes to avoiding it for as long as possible. The worst scenario for catching it is at the peak of the curve.
Right. 100MM cases, 480k deaths. Spread out, it’s maybe manageable. A fast ramp would be pretty goddamn bad.
This isn’t just an old person disease. The complications and mortality rate for young and middle aged adults is also above flu rates. Just not as bad as for elderly and high risk groups.
I’d like to start a rumor that Covid-19 is spread by Canada Goose.
Hate Birds spread the Wuhan Virus!!!!!!!!!!
Also, tobacco smoke kills Covid-19.
Make that “vaping” and you win.
The population doubles every 4 days.
The whole planet will be dead in 5 or 6 months then.
Osterholm’s prediction is about half a million dead, roughly ten to fifteen times any flu season of recent memory. That’s not including hospitalizations.
If it’s anywhere even close to that number, the health care system is going to be completely and totally overwhelmed. There’s a million beds or so in the US and they tend to run at 2/3’s occupancy already.
And once the beds are occupied, care quality drops and mortality rates increase for all causes, not just covid-19 patients.
You seem to have a lot of info. Forgive me if you’ve said, but what do you do?
Day job is network engineer so just a lay person.
My interest is travel and East Asia so have been following this since it was a China problem and stumbled upon some virologist/infectious disease/epidemiology researchers and reading some of the academic papers coming out as it’s progressed.
I can’t be bothered to watch the whole fucking video again.
Osterholm’s prediction is about half a million dead,
Was that US or Global?
https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/coronavirus/coronavirus-disease-2019-vs-the-flu
Flu: 291,000 to 646,000 deaths worldwide; 12,000 to 61,000 deaths in the U.S. per year.
Cause Influenza kills 0.3 million to 0.6 million globally year in and year out.
Doubles every 4 days:
After 40 days, 2 to the 10th power == 1024
After 80 days, 2 to the 20th power == 1,048,576
After 120 days, 2 to the 30th power == 1,073,741,824 (one seventh of the world population)
After 160 days, 2 to the 40th power == 1.0995116e+12 (everyone is dead)
Sounds to me like three months from now most of the human species will have natural biological defenses to the virus through no effort of bureaucracies whatsoever. Or we’ll be starving to death before we contract the virus.
Honey Harvest is still on, 3rd Sunday in September. Most of us will have recovered by that time.
You cannot predict population growth from the slope at particular point, particularly an early point. Going from 2 to four is easier than from 2 million to 4 million
It’s gone from Zero to One! That’s an infinitypercent increase! By tomorrow it’ll have gone from One to Everyone!
*waits a day*
It’s at Two.
The man made the statement as part of the reason we should all be taking this seriously.
I was just doing the math.
All of these are bell curves, right? They climb to a max and start to recede. That max isn’t necessarily all 325 million people.
Current estimates are at 70% of the population infected before it’s over. Germany’s government is publicly using that number.
For comparison, the upper estimate of US flu cases last year was about 45M, and that’s with a vaccination program.
Assuming the current estimate of 1% mortality, that means 0.7% of the population of the planet will die from Kung Flu.
That’s about 50 million deaths.
Assuming the current estimate of 1% mortality, that means 0.7% of the population of the planet will die from Kung Flu.
Standard caveats about China and such, but they’ve had the virus for months and are only reporting ~30,000 deaths, which is 0.003% of the population, so I’m skeptical it will get that bad. They would have to be under-reporting by a factor of 200 for the 70/1 numbers to be right, which is not something I think even the authoritarians there would be capable of doing. The truth is probably somewhere in between.
That’s nothing, net neutrality doubled instantly.
Day 0: nobody died
Day 1: nearly 8,000,000,000 dead
Based on doubling every four days, the entire population of Canada (we have 93 cases right now) will have contracted COVID-19 somewhere around the second week of June. A 1% mortality rate would be just over a quarter million dead by the end of June.
Not sure I buy that, but what do I know?
(And yes, I’m kidding — somewhat. A naïve linear regression is actually terrible at extrapolating trends. I expect to see the doubling happening for another week or two, at which point major freakouts will start to occur and people will practise fairly rigorous social distancing or self-isolation, at least for a short while, which could temporarily kneecap COVID’s growth curve . . . )
“people will practise fairly rigorous social distancing or self-isolation”
I was ahead of my time. By 52 years.
Don’t know who Osterholm is, but he makes my bullshit detector twitch.
Don’t know what to think of the guy.I used to do a lot of event modeling in Uni, and I’d really love to see the multi-linear models being used to make these predictions — the underlying assumptions of each model are where the meat of most disagreements come from. As Tulip mentioned in another thread, if it’s truly following a Rayleigh distribution, then the outbreak in the Western world is going to follow a very different path than what we’re hearing about at the moment.
He’s not just off the street. His curriculum vitae is here.
http://www.cidrap.umn.edu/about-us/cidrap-staff/michael-t-osterholm-phd-mph
He listed some of his credentials during the interview.
He still make me twitch.
On The X-Files, they used to say “I want to believe”.
Now it’s “I want to panic”.
I enjoyed JOJO Rabbit.
I might have to watch that movie.
It’s … absurd, dark, funny, depressing, uplifting, somehow all seamlessly. I really enjoyed Scarlet J’s character, Sam Rockwell was good and Rebel Wilson kept to a minimum. My only very minor complaint is they show hitler eating meat and offering cigarettes, which is historically inaccurate, but when taken as a whole it doesn’t really matter because it’s all fantasy, not a documentary.
Well, ACKSHULLY……whether it’s historically inaccurate to depict Hitler eating meat depends on which year the movie is set. It was sometime during the war when he stopped eating meat altogether. Prior to that, he consumed a diet that was mostly but not exclusively vegetarian.
End of war, so actually I’m correct.
Yeah, but it doesn’t actually depict Hitler, it depicts JoJo’s fantasy-image of Hitler.
doesn’t really matter because it’s all fantasy-
That’s what I said.
Excellent installment, SF. I was wondering how The Hat’s “transition” was going to go.
Biden: ‘I Am The Only Candidate Who Can Beat Ronald Reagan’
https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-i-am-the-only-candidate-who-can-beat-ronald-reagan
I can’t help myself. So precious
Most homeowners are better off staying in their homes, if they’re able to, says Charlane Oliver, cofounder and executive director for the Equity Alliance, a nonprofit advocacy group. Her group is holding two community meetings on March 9 in North Nashville to bring together attorneys, insurance agents, financial counselors, and local officials to talk with folks about their options. “We don’t want these homeowners to sell their property,” Oliver says. “It can be more valuable as a homeowner and landowner to keep that property.”
To Odessa Kelly of Stand Up Nashville, a local coalition of community groups and labor unions, the threat of neighborhood displacement in the wake of the tornado looks like a local illustration of “disaster capitalism,” the term that author and activist Naomi Klein coined for profit-seeking amid natural or man-made catastrophes. Traumatized residents of distressed neighborhoods are especially vulnerable to exploitation, and the need for legal expertise is every bit as urgent as mobilization drives for food and flashlights. “Organizers are first responders,” Kelly says.
——-
Gentrification in Nashville has proceeded hand-in-hand with a surge in experience-based tourism. Music City is now the nation’s capital for bachelorette parties. That’s a danger for a gentrifying North Nashville in the grip of a deep affordability crisis — especially now that a natural disaster is forcing longtime residents to choose between surviving and preserving their homes and communities.
——-
Right now, the people living in North Nashville are struggling to meet their basic needs. They might not know that help is on the way; in these vulnerable moments, a cash offer from a well-dressed man in a suit might look tempting.
“What we don’t want to see happen is what happened in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina,” Oliver says. “You had developers come into the Ninth Ward and buy up all the properties. Now the Ninth Ward doesn’t look like the Ninth Ward anymore.”
Save Our Shithole.
What we need to do is get those people mired in even more debt and hopelessness. That way, we can have a drive-through zoo for the sociology majors to conduct experiments in.
in these vulnerable moments, a cash offer from a well-dressed man in a suit might look tempting.
And this is bad because???
Because how dare you look to solve your own problems and make the decisions that make the most sense for you situation!
“disaster capitalism,” the term that author and activist Naomi Klein
This is Naomi Klein
The books says Naomi Wolf.
Fuck me.
PASS.
Homophobe!
People are tied to the land they live on. It is inhumane to break that tie and leave them rootless and wandering.
Adscriptus glebae.
Music City is now the nation’s capital for bachelorette parties.
What a dark statistic.
I am sure Baltimore would let them borrow their murder rate.
They do have some they can spare.
It is a sight to see, an endless parade of drunk young ladies riding around in open-top party buses dancing and playing with yuge inflatable phallic things.
Friends of mine are gentrifying a neighborhood in Nashville. Its about 1/3 nice rebuilt/remodeled homes and 2/3rds crack houses. But the first number is going up rapidly. The tornado went thru their hood, I bet it will be much nicer after the rebuild.
I think Bernie would make a fine Libertarian Party candidate.
*narrows gaze*
Look if Hitler is the LP candidate, you are gonna have to vote for him if you want to support the party / A certain Chairman who is not seeking re-election.
America does not have protest parties like the UK. Why is that? I assume much more difficult to get on the ballot
The Dems and Pubs write the ballot-access rules to ensure that only the Dems and Pubs have universal access.
Also, UK has preferential voting, US does not.
No they dont.
You’re right, my bad.
point is I liked seeing Lord Buckethead next to Boris when the results were announced
He would get a lot of votes here too – which is why it doesn’t happen.
That was fun.
Lord Buckethead claims to be satirising the system, but predictably only stands against Tory Prime Ministers. Just another lefty.
Thats cause, like, the Labor Party isn’t part of the system, man.
After the last election, one could actually now say that without placing one’s tongue firmly in cheek.
I can’t say anything with my tongue in my cheek, it garbles the words.
Having read about the Libertarian party lately I think that would be a pairing they would both be comfortable with.
After Barr and Weld, what’s the difference anyway?
“I’ll get the Chinee goo!”
Good lord!
I think there are entire websites focused on that.
Yes, there are.
Also- Bloomberg (media) owns City Lab.
How surprised, I am.
Trump says he can Pardon himself at Final Judgment
Video depiction of life after COVID-19 released
I read a story, and had some real doubts about the source, that the Chinese had run a few mostly dead elderly patients through the crematorium. I immediately thought of that scene.
Since they have no qualms about doing that to involuntary organ donors, I don’t see why they would stop there.
I was thinking more of the blancmange that turned people into Scotsmen.
Don’t tell me.
Living mound of jizz given an orgasm by Skittle insertion.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPtri_KaIWo
Damn. That’s weird even for a Skittles commercial.
That depiction is during, this is after.
More City Lab:
Obsessing about the Racial Wealth Gap in post racial America
Racial segregation in both the housing and credit-finance markets have perpetuated the racial appreciation and revenue gaps described by the studies above. And Anne Price, president of the Insight Center for Community Economic Development, argues in a new paper that without reconstructing the systems that created those gaps in the first place, there will be little improvement in black lives mattering.
“Focusing exclusively on ‘closing the gap’ distracts us from reckoning with the systemic economic decisions that are actually driving racial wealth inequality and thus hinders us from addressing its root causes,” she writes in her report, “Don’t Fixate on the Racial Wealth Gap.”
Case in point: The same systems that helped black families buy homes and open businesses are the ones that foreclosed on those homes and businesses, particularly during the housing and finance crashes of 2008. Price’s report points out that after the housing market collapse, cities with large black populations began increasing their reliance on criminal fines and court fees to plug budget holes, which in many places had a disproportionate effect on African Americans. Passing laws that eliminate voter suppression, strengthen labor laws, dissolve mass incarceration and curb corporate power — all the myriad ways in which forces have extracted wealth from African Americans — is a more important emphasis, Price argues
——-
Warren’s and Sanders’ plans to address racial justice issues tap a bit more into the structural revolutions that Price calls for. They both have explicit promises to end redlining, in all of its forms (though their solutions, too, may not quite be tailored to solve the problem), while Bloomberg seemed to be struggling in 2008 with what the real deleterious impacts of redlining have been for black communities.
Warren and Sanders are also both co-sponsors of a bill to create a commission to study reparations (as is fellow presidential candidate Amy Klobuchar), which Price believes is one of the most impactful policies on the table, along with a reconfiguration of the finance and credit structures that have produced the racial imbalances. The University of Georgia scholars, too, conclude that only comprehensive policies like reparations can provide meaningful fixes to wealth gaps.
Policymakers should “challenge its fundamental assumptions and ask why it is homeownership –– an institution irrevocably imbued with racism –– that is the suggested path to financial security in the first place,” they write. “Why not a more robust social welfare system that would render the accumulation of personal wealth redundant? …Why not a comprehensive reparations program?”
Forget about equality of opportunity. We want equality of outcomes, and we want it now!
“Why not double-down on the cause of this mess?”
Morans.
“reconstructing the systems”
Let me guess….
“only comprehensive policies like reparations can provide meaningful fixes ”
Ah…there it is.
Once a thief, always a thief, and they never give up. With this scum it is always about taking from people. Does anyone honestly believe that reparations would actually be paid to the people they purport to want to help?
More importantly, would it accomplish anything different than, say, winning the lottery does?
PS. “Redlining” was ended decades ago. Stop lying.
The University of Georgia scholars, too, conclude that only comprehensive policies like reparations can provide meaningful fixes to wealth gaps.
“Meaningful”
So, the unasked/unanswered question is – “How do I properly keep Coronavirus off my junk?”
Don’t stick it in the communal fleshlight?
https://i2.wp.com/media.boingboing.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/21264466361_96d1f65ae6_b.jpg?w=970
Eeeew!
Over/under on how many people used that over the course of the week.
How many times do you have to use it before it counts?
Fit the condom over your balls as well.
*Holds trash bag in one hand and condom in the other*
Hefty hefty hefty. Wimpy wimpy wimpy
Daughter 3 just received a version of the Nigerian Prince. Supposed law firm in Belgium wants to send her $7M euros from a client with our last name. The law firm shows up on a Google search but their webpage doesn’t load.
I didn’t know Hobbits were thick on the ground in Belgium.
Our last name is German, our string of the family hails from Brunswick. The name of the deceased client doesn’t show up in my family tree database.
Week-old fish smells better.
You are correct in your assessment, so I really don’t have anything useful to add.
Contact them back and see if they’re interested in a marketing opportunity.
I got and email on my work email from Isabel dos Santos telling me she needs to move some assets. Yesterday.
Sounds kinky.
Top or bottom assets? I am an ass man myself.
“I’m not a time traveller. For past-dating transactions contact…”
Santos L. Halper?
“Who or what is Santos L. Halper??”
Daughter 3 just received a version of the Nigerian Prince. Supposed law firm in Belgium wants to send her $7M euros from a client with our last name.
Take a hard copy of the email and get the money up front from J G Wentworth. Let them worry about the details.
“Mister Brooks, we’ve told you before, Euros are not real money.”
BUT IT’S MY MONEY AND I NEED IT NOW!
877 cash nowwwww
My son’s college spring break just got extended an extra week. Odds on them being back in class on march 23rd?
What school?
Coastal Carolina – they are just following U. of South Carolina’s lead on this.
Big schools seem to be closing faster than small. My son’s small school is teeing up online stuff, but hasn’t pulled the trigger.
My son’s school is grossly mishandling this issue. Just completed Spring Break, didn’t ask anyone if they had traveled to impacted areas and require self-quarantine if that was the case.
Poor. Like some others here, I suspect this is going to be an interrupted education year for a lot of the Western world.
You say that like it’s a bad thing. Education in this country really needs a reset.
Can’t disagree. Canada’s the same way — mebbe this will force a focus on the old core curriculum instead of all the self-esteem and social justice bullshit kids are being fed these days.
My theory is that there’s going to be a massive overhaul of the higher ed system when employers realize that:
1) People can learn almost anything online these days, and such people will work for less money since they aren’t buried with student loan debt
2) Universities are increasingly filling people’s heads with Marxist ideas that are antithetical to being a good employee
I think the biggest obstacle is going to be occupational licensing laws that require certain professionals to get degrees from government-approved institutions.
I work in higher ed in a clinical setting. There is only so much in the program that I am in that can be done online (speech-language pathology) since hands on experience is a big part of the future career. I’m hoping to not see too much of a disruption, but only time will tell.
Well yea, there will always be a place for classroom instruction for things that require person-to-person contact like your job, or hands-on occupations like auto mechanics.
I just think the current higher ed system is going to be replaced by online education (whether part of a course or just self-study) with intensive, focused courses at smaller colleges. There will probably be a lot more employer skills testing as well. The humanities shit is going to be scaled back to a niche market for the idle children of rich people.
I agree 100% with this. There are a lot of courses that are busy work for the students to pad the university’s pockets (i.e.: the 400 student humanities class I had to take way back when I was in school). There is a lot of scaling back that can be done.
Around here there are a lot of opportunities for high school kids to get concurrent enrollment credit, but it doesn’t really touch on the humanities BS, mostly just English, math, and science prerequisite courses.
The wife and I are doing Financial Peace University (again 1st time was 10 years ago) for reasons of helping the coordinators and getting back into the swing.
The topic of paying for university schooling came up. I offered a couple suggestions of getting a two year degree, then finding a job with a company that will pay for rest of schooling and people were shocked. I then put forward the idea that you may not need to pursue a four year degree to succeed and life and some eyes opened up a bit.
You want your kids to “live like no one else so they can live like no one else” then change your mindset about higher education.
Dave’s all about that community college prerequisite hustle.
I blew through my scholarship money my first semester at a big school. Realized that it was too expensive for a poor country boy like me. I quit and went to Community College instead. Got a 2 year Ass. of Engineering degree then transferred to a big college to finish up.
It saved me at least $20,000.
You people and your responsible approaches . . . debt is good cuz ‘merica and stuff
I prefer the online prerequisite hustle thru the school you will do the final 2 years.
Nothing wrong with the CC approach too.
Enter the occupational black market.
It can be a tremendously bad thing on an individual level, particularly for those taking classes that have legitimate and necessary learning outcomes. Some of these students will literally have their lives/careers delayed at tremendous expense.
“Education in this country really needs a reset.”
You won’t get it. Unless it’s directed from the Top-down by Harvard, Wisconsin, Michigan State… you know, the biggest DNC feeder systems.
Finally something positive for the economy.
That would be exceedingly bad news for me – my GI Bill expires in April 2021. I’m on track to graduate by then, but a lost semester will fuck me.
Thanks China and their fucking escaped science experiment.
Sorry to hear that – I hope your institution ensures program continuity.
We’ll see what happens. So far, they say they’re monitoring and have no plans to close at this time.
My oldest doesn’t start Spring Break till 28-March. So far the school isn’t on freak-out mode. Hoping it stays that way.
U of Iowa just said they are going to virtual instruction for two weeks after their Spring Break…which is just about to start.
OSU doing the same thing.
Ditto UMD.
3 1/2 hours and 5 meetings later… I might have a chance to get some more work done today.
Nah . . .call it a wash and spend the rest of your day here . . .that’s my daily schedule.
“I call BS, nobody here works”
–Rufus
In local news, Cleveland has cancelled the St. Patrick’s Day parade after saying it was going forward yesterday.
They succumbed to anti-Irish sentiments? Who was behind this affront to a day of cornbeef & cabbage and lots of drinking? Bastages.
Especially since it’s known that alcohol kills the Kung Flu!
Chicago as well.
Can diseases pass back and forth between Irish and humans?
Just one way.
Via the ass?
Apparently not, as the small amount of Irish that me and my sister have render us immune to most common diseases. Or else it’s our mongrel mixed ancestry that protects us.
The only problem with mongrel ancestry is that it makes you want to raise an army of horse archers and conquer the world.
Or did I hear that wong?
No, I am a mongrel as well and I would happily build some wobbly pyramids
“Stupid Mongrolians!”
Would think Irish whiskey is a good disinfectant.
Just got a work email saying we shouldn’t travel internationally. Screw that noise. If I going to be quarantined, I’m going to be quarantined in an all inclusive tropical resort.
*Snicker* https://babylonbee.com/news/podiums-at-next-debate-to-be-equipped-with-life-alert-buttons
They are on their A-game this week.
And this: https://babylonbee.com/news/disaster-at-biden-rally-as-he-smudges-reminder-message-reading-you-are-joe-biden-and-you-are-running-for-president
Heading out on vacation tomorrow. Going to a big public gathering for a week. If I am not back in a week and a half, it means I died from Kung Flu.
Remember: don’t shake hands. Instead do the Vulcan sign telling people to Live long and prosper…
Correct.
That and a case of Popov from Sam’s club to rinse my hands in every hour or so.
True story: I was in an interview this morning with some administration team at the university, and the one interviewer used the Vulcan sign rather than shaking my hand.
I’d use the “Be seeing you” gesture from The Prisoner.
You mean a White Power salute?
I thought that was the “OK” hand gesture.
It’s hard to keep up.
Thanks for the picture. I see my manual is still current.
I was thinking the Zoltan salute.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RenOUsGvS90
I only wish I had been one-tenth as cool as Patrick McGoohan…
He’s hard to out-cool McGoohan. I watch The Prisoner now and marvel at how freaked out audiences must have been in 1967.
His Longshanks made Braveheart worth watching.
*Euphemism sensor explodes*
I was wondering why that image appearing in the middle of my image uploads.
TPTB — I submitted an article. Friday the 20th @ 11 would be a good time, since it is open.
It was a sign – it’s meant to be in your article.
I almost included it instead of a Smokey and The Bandit poster.
Just received the following notice from our condo association:
A protest is planned today outside of the Japanese Consulate General’s Office, located at 737 North Michigan Avenue (Chicago and Michigan), that began at 11:00am and will end at 1:00pm.
The protest is to commemorate the anniversary of the Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Plant explosion in 2011. Protesters may be wearing Hazardous Material Suits to highlight the damage done to Fukushima, Japan as a result of the radioactive material that emanated from the nuclear reactors of after the explosion.
Please be aware that this protest and hazmat suits are unrelated to the COVID-19 (Coronavirus) outbreak in any way.
Protesting a tsunami?
Did anyone even die from the power plant’s woes? I seem to recall no. And that thing took a lot of abuse.
One or two – becuase the back up generators were poorly placed.
Not like their virology lab unleashed a pandemic ob the world.
The hazmat suit piece is amusing – I’m sure people were alarmed, particularly since the parade cancellation was just announced.
Dispatches from the front lines of panic buying.
Doing a shift today for Instacart. Spending a bunch of time sitting in the cafe waiting for orders (they pay me to read books, more than anything) No wipes to be found on the shelves. Hand sanitizer sold.out.
I’ve been watching people buy what I call the “paranoia pack” of canned goods, paper products and bleach. Usually it’s a collection of low information types. Just watched a woman in her nurse’s scrubs but 8 gallons of bleach, toilet paper, long term storage foods, and water. Hmm.
8 gallons of bleach
You could sanitize a pool for a year with that.
https://www.shutupandtakemymoney.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/corona-virus-costco-toilet-paper-meme.jpg
The only reason I’m coughing now is because my throat is sore.
My throat is only sore because I can’t stop coughing.
*downs some meds in an attempt to break the cycle*
/starts shooting UCS from a super soaker filled with hand sanitizer
WOO HOO!!! UCS WET TSHIRT CONTEST!!!
(falls from hotel balcony while attempting keg stand)
*sits stocially, with an unamused expression*
Sounds like you want to be alone. I hear its the easiest way to clear a room these days.
Not really. I was coughing on and off all day and no one left the office.
You ate at Panda Express again, didn’t you?
No, they closed down the location near me.
Virus fears?
Where’s Rahm Emanuel’s brother (Ziggy?)? He should be explaining the coronavirus to us. He’s a public health expert.
Is that the one with the snow-white tan?
He was the naz.
O.T.: Nothing conveys seriousness like one of the world’s most esteemed scientific bodies tweeting Drudge siren emojis:
https://twitter.com/WHO/status/1237777021742338049
“most esteemed”?
Somebody runs in different circles than me…
Do you think the Supremes ever get tired of overturning 9th Circus “decisions”?
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-court-immigration/u-s-supreme-court-allows-trumps-remain-in-mexico-asylum-policy-idUSKBN20Y2ZA
where did our law go?
Seems Legit. Can one purchase hand sanitizer in 55 gallon drum size?
[prints labels to re-brand expired lube]
Expired, or recycled?
Spermicidal is good enough, right?
Due to a few individuals at work at the local Medicaid administrator being just a bit…off putting at work. I need to get a couple things off my chest since I haven’t build up enough goodwill around the office:
– The president did not call the virus a hoax.
– The government did not disband public health agencies.
– The government did not defund public health agencies.
– Yes, team blue’s reaction to the government’s actions probably was unproductive.
– There is no way on god’s green earth the government can coordinate development, testing, purchasing, distribution, and implementation of 330 million COVID-19 infection test kits, in a matter of weeks.
– It is highly unlikely you are going to die of Coronavirus. You’re probably going to have a heart attack like everybody else.
– CALM THE FUCK DOWN
That is all.
No, Trump is going to show up at your house and shoot you in the head for not being a White Cis Hetero Nazi with no tattoos and a job. He just has 330 million stops to make so it may be a while.
I have tattoos. *kicks pebble*
Ugh… NYC schools have cancelled most after-school activities and all parent-teacher conferences will be conducted by telephone.