An elderly family friend passed away this past weekend. (I’m dismayed that so many death notices are only being posted on Facebook in the past couple years. But, that’s a rant for another post.)

As our friend’s adult kids put it, “Given the zombie apocalypse, physical attendance at the funeral is not possible.”

So, a short internment ceremony was held on Zoom.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this trend. I am conflicted.

On the one hand, I think it’s important to mark someone’s passing close to the time it happened because it helps with “closure,” brings the reality of the death home, and offers some support to those grieving the loss. If the people left behind are also in high risk groups, like our friend’s widow, how can this more safely be done than online?

On the other hand, it infuriates me that so many people are dying alone unnecessarily and now the survivors are also being made to grieve alone. Words are all well and good, and video chat is better than none, but in no way whatsoever can it replace a hug, or a touch on the hand, when someone is hurting so deeply. It’s difficult via a digital interface to bring a casserole, open a bottle of wine, help with everyday things around the house, and ease, for a short time, the new and terrible emptiness in the home.

People coming together to share a loss is as old as humanity. It breaks my heart that it’s now apparently only possible to do so remotely.