I'm just not sure if I want to bring a child into this crazy ...

A friend and treasured professional colleague suddenly took sick last week and died last night. We’d had hope, but it was not to be. Completely unrelated to the corona panic other than us not being able to visit him during his last week. So I’ll be a bit more terse than usual since my jocularity today is limited. But the world goes on, and we want you guys to be entertained, because Yahweh knows, we could all sure use that.

With death comes life, and birthdays today abound, including half of the best comics duo ever; a notorious supporter of the mass murdering LBJ (and was nonetheless a great performer); the guy who dreamed up and wrote Psycho; the guy who got James Bond going as a franchise; the ultimate in black hats and beards; one of my absolute favorite actors; a visitor from the planet Cheron; the creator of the Pottery Barn analogy; and the greatest hype artist until Elon Musk.

Some news. Some.

 

Let no opportunity for politicization pass. Lori really does sound like Orwell’s Napoleon.

As the weather turned sunny, and uncommonly warm, in late March, Chicagoans flocked to the eighteen-mile-long public path along Lake Michigan, cycling, running, walking, rollerblading, chatting, laughing—and ignoring the stay-at-home order that Illinois Governor J. B. Pritzker had been issued a few days earlier. Lori Lightfoot, Chicago’s mayor, was not amused. On March 26th, she tweeted, “This is not a vacation. While most of our residents understand this, some have refused to listen. So for the good of the city, we are immediately closing high-traffic areas of the city until further notice.”

 

I’m no fan of Trump, but when I agree with him, I agree with him.

“I want fans back in the arenas,” Trump said later in a briefing at the White House. “I think it’s … whenever we’re ready. As soon as we can, obviously. And the fans want to be back, too. They want to see basketball and baseball and football and hockey. They want to see their sports. They want to go out onto the golf courses and breathe nice, clean, beautiful fresh air.”

 

“Because you haven’t bribed us yet.”

Under new guidance issued by the Small Business Administration it seems non-profits and faith-based groups can apply for the Paycheck Protection Program loans designed to keep small business afloat during the COVID-19 epidemic, but most venture-backed companies are still not covered. Late Friday night, the Treasury Department updated its rules regarding the “affiliation” of private entities to include religious organizations but keep in place the same rules that would deny most startups from receiving loans.

…For startups with investors on the board of directors, the decision-making powers that those investors hold means the startup is affiliated with other companies that the partner’s venture firm has invested in — which could mean that they’re considered an entity with more than 500 employees.

 

“It’s not like you need to eat.”

“This is the moment to not be going to the grocery store, not going to the pharmacy, but doing everything you can to keep your family and your friends safe and that means everybody doing the six-feet distancing, washing their hands.”

 

Why I always try to fly Southwest.

Despite there only being 11 people on a Tuesday, March 24 flight, the company [American Airlines] allegedly refused to allow them to adhere to the social-distancing measure of sitting 6 feet apart, instead forcing them all into the last three rows, Mother Jones reports. “The reasoning behind it is, well, they bought basic economy fares, so we can’t put them further up in the cabin, because that would be an upgrade,” said one of the flight attendants, who requested anonymity for fear of retribution from her employer.

 

Some Old Guy Music to fit my current devastated mood. Excuse me, someone is cutting up onions in here again.